I am aware of the growing fan-base the Oz has built since up since she started with us on London Tonight; but, despite the pressure I have been put under, I cannot divulge her home address. However, if you look for a column of acrid smoke above London tonight you might be able to track her down. It is Australia Day and she is hosting a "Barbie". Not a gathering for oddly jointed blonde play things but a fest of "stubbies" (small, or 'stubbie' cans of beer Faye tells me) and burgers. On her bizarre menu, they come with a fried egg and a slice of beetroot. That's what I thought, too. I cannot think why we haven't cast them aside and excluded them from not only the Commonwealth but the entire community of nations. Where is our pride?
Which is a question Harris poses tonight, too. In Glasgow, you can hardly read an advert for Bells Scotch or Haggis for a thick layer of "Commonwealth 2014 Games" host-city stickers. From the moment you arrive on the outskirts,(or is that out kilts?), they grow thicker. And what hits you as you motor towards London? "You are now entering the Low Emission Zone" and, a little closer, a big red "C" for the Congestion Zone.
2012?
Not a whisper.
There are more adverts littering the capital for the dubious services of Miss Fifi L'Amour than for this international feast of global sporting talents. Are we embarrassed? Are we keeping our powder dry? Harris asks, and we will ask you to answer. Normal details at the bottom of your screens from 6 o'clock onwards.
Talking of questions, Sir Paul Stephenson and Sir Hugh Orde have been asked by Bozza and Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, among other things, how they want to run the Met. Why, may also have featured in this examination. I ponder "why" given the fact that we now have some indication of why Sir Ian Blair and Bozza parted company. An acrimonious exchange of letters, a caustic crossing of correspondence - gosh, somewhere between "To whom it may concern" and the passionate pennings of a poison pen smith - it is pretty unpleasant stuff. Ronke has been holding steamed envelopes up to a strong light and reveals all.
No need to steam the steamy correspondence of Ron and Reg Kray - it is under the hammer, as were the heads of several of their enemies. And fingers. And knees. Ouch. Phil keeps his distance from the bidders in cheap sunglasses and sharp suits to let you know what's on offer.
What price success in the West End in these tough economic times? Well the price of Abba, meeting the subject of The Day The Music Died, in Barack Obama's and Al Capone's power base, it seems. Nick will explain and it will make sense. Oliver is also very good - not followed by "Reed" but followed by "!". Saw it the other night and loved it.
What made it was not Rowan Atkinson, brilliant though he is, and biased though I am. No, it was the children - such energy, enthusiasm, talent and engagement with the audience. Well, we are on the lookout for "same" - extra-talented young people (10-16) in a London Tonight talent search. Details at 6. And if we come across someone who can make a fried-egg-beetroot-burger look and taste appetising, Marco Pierre White better look to his laurels.
Lucy discovered that Franz Ferdinand had a natter with Tom Cruise after both had been on Jonathan Ross last week. She went to see them to find out what they talked about and discovered they also have a third album out, after a relative silence of some four years. I am told this is good news by the Big Boss. I am not stupid and now leap with joy at this news though I will confess to having muddled them, initially, with The Kaiser Chiefs.
Faye, looking like a black hose pipe with something stuck in the middle, still manages to look stunning.... until my gaze arrives at her feet. Clad in black Uggs, they prompt two thoughts in me; she accepts a bet too easily, and the manufacturers have a good eye for an accurate brand name.
The Oz, deep in marinading at the moment, and I, look forward to making sense of the above at 6.
Be there or we'll send you to Glasgow via the Oz's BBQ.
Alastair & Alex
