Good afternoon!
Much debate at our early afternoon discussion over what gems to offer you this evening and what fool's gold to discard.
Jon, our vision mixer, has a thing about shoes and showed some very fetching new trainers to the gathering. Faye, our elegant and, in my view, gorgeous Producer is wearing some smart black trousers that would not look out of place as the lower half of a dinner suit - it is the satin stripe along the length of the sides that does it. Nina is wearing a seriously smart outfit - I think she is off to the ballet or the Ivy right after the show - and I am my normal, sartorially stunning self, risking a bold blue shirt with striking red tie.
None of us, however, owns a moped. None of us has, therefore, been involved in the spate of moped ram-raids which has resulted in this year's haute couture autumn collections being seriously reduced. Sonia Rykiel was last nights target, following Luella Bartley and Frost/French among others, totalling 35 in all. Liz is the lass with the coat-hangers and the crash helmet.
If whoever did the raids wanted to celebrate their grubby little crime they might have popped into an offy or even a garage to buy some beer. They'd have got it and got sloshed. So picture a Captain in the 16th Air Assault Brigade, wearing uniform and recently back from the front-line, being told he wouldn't be equipped for a bit of a session because the young man serving at the petrol station counter was anti-war. Shaken and stirred, the Captain reported the incident to an army charity only to be told he was not alone. Nick gathers the evidence and shouts "Attention!".
As will two older soldiers, one ex-SAS, the other an ex-Para, when they arrive at No10 Downing Street to protest at the way we treat our soldiers nowadays. Frankly, if I were Gordon Brown I'd cave in and not risk a full frontal assault on the famous black front door - or second floor balcony, given the SAS are involved. Tamsin has donned goggles and a black balaclava for this one.
Anyone suffering shock or even a heart attack as a result can rest easy as the London Ambulance Service have just been judged the best in the land at dealing with cardiac arrests. And did you know the city is littered with defribulators? Do you know what defribulators are? Emma may have a bit of a shock for you.
Sangeeta counts to seven as she drools over Theo Walcott and others at the Emirates. And Ned Boulting, hang your head! 2 nil? Bah, humbug.
Talking of footy, the new Wembly wants your vote.
A rock combo called Orson have moved from LA to Shepherd's Bush in an effort to spread their fame or boost their fortunes. Opinion is divided here. Steve will help you make your minds up.
Finally. Chrissie dons her salopettes and gloves, lowers her Ray Bans and soars off on her skillfully waxed blades at the London Ski & Snowboard show. Nina is a keen and rather fine snowboarder so I have hired a snow eagle which will swoop on and terrify Chrissie, thus allowing Nina to sweep in and take over.
I'll see you in the apres ski bar. Any time, any place, any where....
Alastair & Nina
