The Oz has just popped off to buy tea and cakes so the blog is mine, ALL MINE!
(When Oscar Wilde arrived in Australia for a lecture tour he was asked by immigration if he had a criminal record. He replied "I didn't know it was still obligatory!". Laugh? They nearly put him away. Australian spin bowler Shane Warne was only caught two-timing his wife because he didn't understand how his cell phone worked. Laugh? No, she cried. And, in the 50s and 60s, Brits only had to pay a tenner to emigrate Down Under. Many, after the first few days, asked for their money back. Laugh? No, they came home. Heads up, the Oz is back, so back to the programme.)
Tonight we've the story of Jack Tweed's incarceration. He, the widower of the late Jade Goody, had a brilliant lawyer who explained all the "pressure" Jack had been under and how the trauma of Jade's death had "matured" him and even given him "dignity". Nick will report on the cab driver Jack threatened and throttled with not a lot of maturity or dignity, and how it means Jack will be spending more time with his new self, without the distractions of freedom.
Our Mayor, Bozza, likes nothing more than the freedom of the roads: crisp clean air, whistling through his trademark blonde locks and creating shapes and shades, wisps and whiskers, Turner would be proud of. It is only possible because he often does all that "sans chapeau". Some say that is V naughty and a V bad example. By way of distraction, Bozza now wants to legalise cyclists turning left on a red light. In America, they do it already going RIGHT on a red - they drive on the other side of the road, though why I have never been entirely sure. I think this is dangerously complicated for Bozza and for London's many cyclists. Well, if it be Bozza's will then "render unto Bozza what is Bozza's" - subject to an intelligent debate and primary legislation in Parliament, of course! Glen pops on his clips and his aerodynamic skull-cap and pedals off for all he's worth. Bike, trike or tandem I don't know, but we'll all find out together at 6. Ding ding!
We've withdrawals: Not from hole-in-the-wall cash machines but OF hole-in-the-wall cash machines. And plans to make Oxford Circus a diagonal pedestrian precinct. I'd have sworn most tourists thought it already was when last I attempted to ply my way up towards Upper Regent Street or down toward what was the old Cafe Royal. Maybe it's just me.
Liverpool have a mountain to climb to claw back victory from Chelsea who go into tonight's euro-match with a complex advantage, having done rather well whilst visiting Anfield. God may, however, smile upon the Kop as tomorrow is the anniversary of the tragedy of Hillsborough, and He may think they are owed one. A footy rather than theological preview, at 6, from the Bridge.
Some odd chaps also have a mountain to climb - Everest, to be precise - to play a game of cricket. Yes, I know - "hatters". A few have already been given the Finger of Dismissal by the Great Weather Umpire but, stretching even my slim and rather uninterested knowledge of cricket rules, it seems they have another eight "Twelfth Men". That can't be right or numerate, but Mark Jordan says "Play up, play up, and play the game." And it seems they do, or will. I am still at Base Camp One on this one.
Chris De Burgh is Irish, had a universal hit with Lady in Red AND a daughter who went on to be Miss World. The "luck of" comes to mind but will he be testing it with his latest album? We will ask him, live at 6.
Papers, your thoughts on cyclists being given rights of the road we motorists are denied, plus Martin, who loves F1 and never runs the lights, with your weather.
I think that's it and I trust the Oz will skip the opening paragraph of inane ramblings and cut to the chase. If not, I can see this chocolate muffin she got me going all over my face... hope it's good for my skin.
See you at 6.
Alastair & Alex.
(P.S. - from the Ed - don't forget there's round the clock behind the scenes updates and breaking news on twitter - http://twitter.com/londontonight)
