The Oz has just shown me a clip of a movie which is somewhere between a Buzby Berkeley spectacular and Crufts. To say it draws upon Aztec history and one of the most celebrated scenes in "Pretty Woman" may help. She thinks it is hilarious and tears were rolling down her lovely cheeks. The Big Boss is not a fan but feels you should, nevertheless, see it as part of your weekend planning and that, to a degree, is what we are here for on Fridays. All will be revealed at 6.
"9 1/2 weeks" was a steamy movie some years ago starring a steamy actor called Mickey Rourke and a blonde bombshell called Kim Bassinger. She bought a town, named it after herself and drifted into obscurity. He hit the bottle, did a fair bit of drifting himself but is now back with two pin-falls, two submissions and a knock-out called "The Wrestler". BB thinks you will want to see that one. The Oz is still spending time with the other option. You decide.
Spending time at Her Majesty's convenience for , potentially, a little over a year and a half is the street-sweeping, make-up wearing pop icon that is Boy George. He's a great DJ and launched a clothes line - not something to dry garments upon but a range of tasteful shirts etc. Alas, his taste in photography, friends and general bad-behaviour have landed him in clink. That which can be told will be told by Lewis - too young to remember Culture Club and too wise to delve any deeper than he needs to.
We will accept no limits on our delving into why some scuz would have mugged a little old lady, leaving her to die. The scuz's haul included her hand-bag which contained a plastic bag and little else. That is the only part of the tale that pleases me - the rest is an evil, hollow tragedy. Ronke is on the trail of the unforgivable low-life responsible.
The process of deciding whether Amanda Knox is an unforgivable, murdering low-life or an innocent abroad has begun in Italy. She and her former boyfriend are accused of the murder of Surrey student Meredith Kercher and we will be joined by NBC's reporter in Perugia with the latest.
The latest Meryl Streep can be for her appointment this evening with Lucy Cotter is 5.45pm. If she makes it you'll hear all about "Doubt", her latest offering and how it feels to be involved with the biggest selling DVD of all time, "Mama Mia". If she doesn't, it'll be tight satin stuff for the Oz and a beard, topped off with a vacant grin, for me as we do our celebrated rendition of "The winner takes it all". "Doubt" we will leave for another time. Here's hoping and praying Meryl makes it. I wouldn't mind seeing the Oz in that satin outfit but I am sensitive to your ear-drums and sense of taste.
I am going to see "Oliver!" on Monday and the reasons I am giving up a precious evening will be made clear as the Oz takes you across the outback that is "What Not To Miss". She will also explain how not to miss the boat and how to express your anger, without words, should you do so. It's a sort of Jacques Cousteau meets Marcel Marceau moment, I think.
Robin is here and is planning to do his forecast in the manner of a game of charades - "It's a TV programme: 3 words. Third word, two syllables; first, sounds like a precious metal; second, an expression of confusion".
The papers will have pictures of the Hero of The Hudson who demonstrated that, should Heathrow's third runway ultimately be blocked, the stretch of the Thames between Putney and the Harrods depository would do just as well... with a bit of skilled banking and one tight left turn.
I think that's it and, if it's not, it probably should be.
I have paid the Congestion Charge Penalty my wife earned last week so my spirits are in need of lifting. Let's hope, after all, that Meryl is delayed. Here I go again. My my!
Oh, almost forgot. Gordon Brown went to the 2012 site to mark the mid-point between Jacques Rogge's "Lun-dorn" announcement in Singapore and Boris' "Rigght, here we go:wiff-waff, first. Beginners please!" moment in 2012. I think it deeply significant that Gordon lost at ping-pong and Bozza didn't show. I am keen to know if Harris agrees as I think you might be, too.
There. Now that is it.
See you at 6.
Alastair and Alex
