Здравствуйте.... from Katie... and a very good afternoon from me!
I have to tell you I feared for the travel plans of "Lara", as I insist upon calling her for the next few hours. From ITN, last night, to the Asian Women awards and then home. Then from home to Paddington, on to Heathrow and finally to Moscow: it was an itinerary that made Napoleon's doomed march on the Russian capital in 1812 look like a stroll in the park.
Anyway, in the fine company of Marcus, a life-long Gooner, she will be presenting our coverage of the Great Game. Clearly more of a lacrosse and polo girl, "Lara" has been revising like she hasn't revised since Cambridge - clever, beautiful and in Moscow? How cruel life can be to the rest of us mere mortals.
Rich in drama and emotion, our coverage features the great West Hammer Frank Lampard Snr, there to support his brilliant son as they both still wrestle with the sadness of losing Pat, a loyal and loving wife and mum.
Graeme Le Saux, one of the brighter and more articulate booters of the ball, will be waxing eloquent about 4-1-4 formations, lob balls and passing patterns. He played for Chelsea and England, I am told, though I remember his twilight years in Southampton and the fact that he is a Channel Islander. But he is bright and handsome so "Lara" will be happy.
Ronaldo is The One To Watch, it seems. This may be a footy observation or a warning to the young belles of Mockba but I am sure Marcus will explain.
Our build-up also features the Rolling Stones performing Jumping Jack Flash which Faye, in elegant cream and grey today told me I'd like that. She does know me, doesn't she? We've sent "Lara" out to buy a copy of the Moscow Times to see what their front page is dealing with. I hope she doesn't, like the original "Lara", disappear for several decades in the cold political frost of a revolution - only for me to die, from a heart attack, running alongside a tram, whispering "Lara", "Lara", finally slumping to my untimely death in the post-revolutionary snow. We'll see.
Here, we have wonderful pictures and the most moving of tributes to Emily Diamond, whose tragic death haunted us all yesterday. The random nature of her demise seems to me to have been made even more cruel, the more we find out about the lovely young woman who was so full of promise, but who is no more.
Boris was always full of promise and, like Max Wall blended with Tommy Cooper with just a soupcon of Eddie Izzard, took Mayor's Questions today for the first time. Harris holds his sides but points out the deceptively important bits which may continue to impress you.
Then, to strains of a balalaika and the pounding of Czarist cavalry hooves, we will canter back to Moscow for a final thought from "Lara".