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Good afternoon.



---- = dz  is the core equation in differential calculus and the challenge that convinced



me descriptive economics rather than econometrics was my forte. I enjoyed the mathematicians joke that "dy by dx gives d answer" but humour didn't see me through. Fortunately the Met can count and, for that reason, we will not be exposing the appalling cover-up that's been going on in other Police Forces wherein they under-counted acts of serious violence by reporting them as common assaults rather than GBH. You might think it irrelevant but I found it rather reassuring, given everything else the Met have been accused of getting wrong of late.


So even a bobby on the metropolitan beat could tell you that 3000 x 20 = 60,000, (econometrics). What he or she might have more difficulty in explaining (descriptive economics) is why Hackney are spending that much to send Head-teachers on a fact finding mission to the US of A at a time when some schools can count the number of books they have without breaking into a canter but might also need a short break whilst counting the number of children each teacher is responsible for. John McCain, who is likely to lose the Presidential election in a fortnight not least for suggesting the US economy was doing "just fine", is a Senator from Arizona, the State the Happy Ones of Hackney will be visiting. There may be an irony in that - money certainly makes the world go round for the lucky "20" but we wondered if the kids and their parents might think it could be better spent.  Harris had to put his hands over his ears on not a few occasions and he fastened his seat-belt and popped up to Hackney to ask for you and someone from Hackney is popping in to tell us their side of the story, too.


Final bit of arithmetic ( "A Red Indian Thought He Might Eat Tobacco In Church was how I remembered how to spell it at school) in this show.

If a family of five live in a two bedroom flat and one of their three children has to have his own room, who lives where? The answer involves a hospital and a lot of sadness. By the way "Get a bigger house" doesn't work. But you'll have to wait until tomorrow for the answer to that one.


"Eyes Wide Open" was a steamy, though not entirely successful, film for the former Mr and Mrs Tom Cruise. But we want you to emulate the title, if not the content, tonight as we run a CCTV clip of a couple breaking into an OAPs flat. I know it happens too frequently in London but for one Dulwich woman, in her eighties, it was getting a bit like the Rambo series of films - this was the third time it had happened. So, eyes wide open, let's help our numerate fuzz catch the scumbags.


Not a long running series but a first from Nick tonight - he has spent the night with the maintenance crew on London Underground. Revelatory, they work hard in challenging conditions and both tea and questionable magazines appear to be in short supply. Gripping if not a little tiring.


A first for Lewis, too: Snowdonia is a fair part of the Principality and offers a bit of skiing when it gets nippy but mainly the means to keep sheep meat fresh and milk, naturally longer-lasting. Slag heaps also provide slopes but less snow as most of them are in the south of that fair adjunct to the Kingdom. So, imagine our Welsh matinee idol's delight when he found slopes and snow right here in the capitol. Not a dead sheep nor a pint of full-cream, or even semi-skimmed, insight, he battled to Battersea just for you. Cheer him on and warm him up.


The missing bust of Paul McCartney has been found. ("Didn't know it was lost", I hear a few of you murmur.) Well, it was and it has been and it has made some people very happy and one person a lot richer. Hannah will unravel this rambling of mine at 6.


Finally Dido is back with a great new album, after 5 years. Worth the wait, I think you'll agree and not a trace of Eminem this time. Good though it was, it got a bit repetitious I thought.


Unlike Robin's forecast - always unique, even if no Dido.


Papers - very confused today, I'll wager.


So, all added together it makes for a simultaneous equation of Alastair and Salma where Alastair is equal to the sum of all such things as 30 odd years in the business and Salma is a prime number, divisible only by herself.


Abacusses all round.


See you at 6.