First, a staggeringly cautionary tale of the dangers of the demon drink.
We've all done it, or nearly done it: you have a bit too much to drink, or a heck of a lot too much, and getting home becomes your sole your ambition.
It's not that easy: lamp-posts, low-hanging branches, slippy pavement slabs - all out to get you. You might even fall asleep on the train.
Well, falling asleep ON the train is one thing....
But now we get serious. Tonight, we have the man who ticked all the boxes above but went one worse: he fell asleep, not ON a train, but on..... a railway line!
What happened next, at 6!
I fear tomorrow we may face more of the same because tonight, according to all the experts, is the pre-Christmas night when we let our hair down more than any other night: next Friday, true to tell, lots of you (not me!!!) won't be coming to work so you go off on one tonight.... and how!
It is the worst night of the year for office parties and general, bacchanalian bonkers-ness.
But, again, we get serious: London's great ambulance service are worrried for you and for their ability to deal with your worst antics. Some serious words of caution from the people that know, at the LAS.
Also on the show tonight, the one hundredth anniversary of the Piccadilly Line... We look forward to the one hundredth anniversary of the repair work to the Northern Line, too - can't be far off.
We talk to Cliff Richard about his hopes for another Number One - which would make six decades in a row in which he has had a Number One, the '50s being his first.
"Take that!" he might say to all other recording acts, if he pulls it off.
Take That might say "We'll see about that", in reply....
James King is popping in to share his views about movies Branded and Deja Vu to help you decide whether or not to go to the movies tomorrow - if you aren't still nursing your head.
And Tamzin, as always, will delight and tempt you with her collectable confection of clever clues for a carefree or creative weekend in What Not To Miss: don't miss it!
Willsy has all you need to know about who London clubs face in the Champions League, why Ronnie O'Sullivan did a runner and West Ham's prospects this weekend, under Icelandic ownership and Curbishley control.
And finally, Chrissie braves all for you in Wimbledon with Captain "the Fonz" Hook - "oh no she doesn't, oh yes she does"- and gives her own rendition of Peter Pan.
I hope.
I really hope.
See you at six.
Alastair and Tamzin
