Good afternoon.
Good to be back - I missed you and hope, in the nicest possible way, that you missed me. Don't get me wrong - how you say things, really matters.
Like Haringey Council "thinking" that they had said sorry for the death of Baby P. They hadn't. For 48 hours. They now have and Ronke hears them say it. But then again if I say I missed you that is different to someone else telling you that I missed you. Thus, with Haringey - a member of "the Cabinet of Haringey Council" (pretentious, moi?) says she is sorry. Not the leader of the Council. Nor anyone of the army of social service people who bumped into this case but appear to have failed to achieve traction with it. So, an apology at several removes but not one removal of one person from office, job or responsibility. This one will run and run.
Like Haringey Council "thinking" that they had said sorry for the death of Baby P. They hadn't. For 48 hours. They now have and Ronke hears them say it. But then again if I say I missed you that is different to someone else telling you that I missed you. Thus, with Haringey - a member of "the Cabinet of Haringey Council" (pretentious, moi?) says she is sorry. Not the leader of the Council. Nor anyone of the army of social service people who bumped into this case but appear to have failed to achieve traction with it. So, an apology at several removes but not one removal of one person from office, job or responsibility. This one will run and run.
Talking of field sports, athletics and the like, Tessa Jowell says if we'd known then what we know now, we wouldn't have bid to host the Games. "Mummy, this great big recession came along and hit me! I didn't see it coming". Well, none of us did but as that Great Economist John Maynard Keynes said" When the facts change, I change my mind". How then is our Tessa saying, now that the recession has knocked her and modern capitalism for six, that she is standing by our hosting of the Olympics? No choice, I hear you mutter. Then don't raise the canard only to shoot it like a Barnacle Goose, you might hear me respond. Bozza says Tessa has been a good 50 meters behind helpful in the last lap of the Let's Get The Games Going sprint. Oh, for a starting pistol.
Phil says "on your marks" several times and still wonders if any of them will ever get off the blocks let alone complete the course.
Phil says "on your marks" several times and still wonders if any of them will ever get off the blocks let alone complete the course.
Apparently Faye's elegant black trousers, (the ones with my favourite satin stripe down the side) are falling apart, but not, and I quote The Stunner, "in a sexy way". She then chortled, as only she can, that she was pleased to have given me "some material". Shouldn't that be the other way round, given the fissiparous nature of her troos???
Nick Wallis finally escapes, troos in tact, from the dank depths of the Underground but not before meeting a Giant Digger and giving a good talking to Tim O'Toole who is in charge. Actually, we like Mr. O'T despite the fact that he learned his trade moving around as many "steers" as you used to see on Rawhide or Bonanza. "Moo" I hear you say. No, I don't. It is my fevered imagination.
But I enjoy a vibrant imagination. This, though, is beyond even that fevered cauldron of creativity - a thug, a wrong'un, "a burglar, gangster and junkie" says Faye of him, in what must pass as the most damming character reference ever uttered outside of anger, attacks another chap. They then bond and form a partnership to combat youth crime. Well I guess they bring both sides of the experience into play but I still fear planks of wood and unethically large brass finger accoutrements may come into play in the final act. Lewis will prove me wrong, I am sure.
Alesha Dixon is in the studio. She was recently in Downing Street and on "Strictly", as it is known in the trade. Which will she prefer when it comes to her inevitable autobiography? We will ask her. She is a beautiful and talented woman. Not unlike Faye, though I imagine Ms Dixon's troos will be in fine repair. Or she'll wear a frock.
Harry Redknapp is at White Heart Lane and doing to it what John Maynard Keynes (pay attention at the back) did to the world economy after the crash of '29 and the slump of the '30s. JMK wrote "The General Theory of Employment" as a result and changed the way politicians and economists thought for the next 50 years until Milton Freidman, Margaret Thatcher and Monetarism. I wonder what Harry will call his seminal tome? "The General Theory of Putting The Ball In The Back Of The Net, 'arry" ?
Perhaps he'll tell us, at 6.
Perhaps he'll tell us, at 6.
Why your Post-Office has a better chance of staying open and why Drogba should have kept his feelings about being pelted by morons in the stands to himself; plus all manner of meteorological banter from Robin and a snatch of the front pages.
I am exhausted and may need another day off. That'll be Friday then.
But I really look forward to your company tonight. As does the lovely Faye. Both of them, in fact.
What a happy crew we are - let the vibes reach you, live at 6.
Alastair & Faye & Faye.
