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London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 16th September 2008

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 16th September 2008

Good afternoon.

This is late and I am sorry.

I wrote 200 words, left it in the electronic out-tray and it went missing. Doesn't matter - one stream of consciousness is much the same as any other, I'd say. At least it didn't contain the names, national insurance numbers and banking details of anyone - or any eighteen thousand people like the discs that were left in the out-tray at Whittington NHS Trust. "What, again?", I hear you say. Yep. Lewis Vaughan Jones is beginning to wonder what is safe these days and puts on a white coat to have a bit of a probe.

When I studied economics there was an intriguing concept called the "velocity of circulation" - how many times the same pound coin is spent is an interesting measure of economic activity. Well, in Canary Wharf rather a lot of pound coins are remaining firmly at the bottom of some rather well-tailored trouser pockets and some elegant clutch bags and purses. A lot are not spending much because they are of The Lehman 5000. Greedy prats who brought it upon themselves is one view - fall guys for the real "Ess Aitch Won Tees" in America is another I am not entirely out of sympathy with. Anyway, the morning after the night before and we are journalism's equivalent to Resolve for the city boys and girls with a real hangover. Glen - (did you know "shorting" meant selling what you've not got only to buy back at an even lower price, sell and then make a profit?) - Goodman is on the abacus.

No abacus in sight as we reveal our second would-be teacher of the year - an RC RE man and a DH, Faye says. Her stunning red coat is draped across her chair which is currently empty. I do not know where she is, and I am missing her. The coat reminds me of an elite Czarist regiment and I fear for the masses.

Bordeaux is a beautiful region of central western France which produces what purport to be the five greatest wines in the world , one of which is Haut Brion - it is a bastardisation of O'Brian - believe me - but they thought it wouldn't sell. It is also the name of a French team about to beaten by the Blues tonight as I hope Ned will shortly confirm.

Katie has spent the afternoon with Jason Donovan who has taken to dressing like a Brazilian fruit seller who is also a woman of ill-repute. She will explain as only KD can.

Lucy , out on the pull again, has secured Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Junior but, after Robert De Niro, these are mere shadows. All are on the red carpet for Tropic of Thunder which Faye doesn't seem over-enthusiastic about especially Ben's role therein: written, produced and directed by Mr. BS - "Jack of all trades but is he master of any???" the Czarina was heard to mutter.

I now fear for us all.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Katie