London Tonight Tonight: Fri 21st Dec

Good afternoon.

"'Twas the night before"...

( the weekend before

the day before)...

"Christmas,

and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse".

BOO!

That'll wake the little darlings up, as will Mike Smith, in his mighty helicopter, swooping this way and that, hither and thither, to tell you what the traffic is like this "eve of Christmas" Friday, (allowing, once again, for the weekend and, indeed, for that pesky Monday).

Maybe it is that confusion which leaves 5% of Londoners saying they dread the whole thing. We've conducted a poll of you all to find out what fills your stocking and decks your halls this time of year. Fascinating results from how much you've budgeted, assuming you've budgeted, to what matters most to you Crimble-wise: producers and directors of nativity plays bring your kleenex... you are not going to be happy bunnies.

A very happy bunny is Stephen Gately, ex-Boyzone, now back in Boyzone, and in the West End. He drops in like Santa, full of joy and laden with the gifts of wit and repartee.

Unlike Youtube's favourite hit - a young woman who happens to look like Britney Spears. Worth a look according to zillions of people. We invite you to join them, briefly. Steve hits it, one more time.

More leisurely will be James review of the movies,, including the subject of America's most successful ever opening weekend: it is the stuff of legends. He also looks at Alvin and the Chipmunks which, if the other crits are anything to go by, he may regret. Up to you, as always.

As always, too, we have papers and Chrissie's weather - if she turns up. She was in black yesterday which worried me. Her total absence thus far today, clothed or not, suggests to me a real fear on her part that she might not get home again. I am fearful but, like you, will be there at 6 to discover the awful truth.

Finally a caroling treat from Westminster - not politicians, I promise you. But is it the Abbey or the Cathedral? Anglicanism or Holy Rome? It would be a sacrilege to tell you so you'll have to hang on in there for the very end. Bitter it won't be.

I made the right to do What Not to Miss my special Christmas gift to Salma. She was moved.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Salma.

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Thurs 20th Dec

Good afternoon.

Euphemistic double entendres, analogies, similes, puns and plays on words - all ways of ducking and diving, linguistically. So when the Mayor says Brixton Base are "closing" and Brixton Base say they are "moving"... you begin to wonder. Then you remember this is one of the organisations at the heart of Andrew Gilligan's savage attack on the Mayor's ethnicity man Lee Jasper in the Evening Standard, all stood by by Gilligan, all vehemently denied by Jasper on this very programme, you feel duty bound to dig, unearth and lay out your findings like Howard Carter at the tomb of Tutankhamoun. Harris is the man in riding breaches with the solar tope who took the Earl of Carnarvon's shilling.

West Ham are putting their money where their mouth is: they've a good track record as a community focused club and have joined forces with Newham Borough in a determined anti-knife and gun crime campaign. Ken (the one who works here, not the one at City Hall), who worships at the altar that is Upton Park, says the campaign will be a gem when fought at home but might face a bit more of a test on away territory but that, in so many ways, is the point of it. Liz is in claret and blue for you, and will be forever blowing bubbles at six.

Blowing in the wind is the answer to this conundrum: why is the treatment of parking ticket appellants so different from Borough to Borough? How many wardens will it take till they know that too many appeals have been lost? And how many plastic bags will it take til they know that only a level playing field will do? Sharon, my friend, is the girl in the know: she is the girl in the know.

No-one seems to know anymore what really happened when a baby died in the care of child-minder and respected citizen Keran Henderson. The prosecution said she shook the baby to death and a jury agreed. Now two of them have unusually expressed public doubts. Witnesses agreed with the prosecution, too, but now one of them isn't sure, either. Nor is the Attorney General herself, Baroness Scotland... who is Attorney General for England and Wales. (Scotland has a Procurator Fiscal but who doesn't only deal with financial matters. I am going mad. Move on.) We talk to Keran's husband about how close he thinks he may be to seeing his wife freed from her three year sentence.

Not in time, I fear, to wander down to HMV and effect which song will be No1 this Christmas; though, if she can get online in jail, she could via a download. I am banking on Fairytale of New York ("with bars big as cars") but it will be a fiercely fought contest with young Leon Exfakter in with a good chance. Steve, who retains a touching outside hope for Sir Cliff Richard, is our Jimmy Saville-Chris Moyles clone with your Christmas Top of the Pops.

Also, pop-pickers, our penultimate school carol and a real treat tomorrow but I'll leave that for tomorrow.

Chrissy is all in black today: very worrying for someone who drove home through -5 degrees last night, I can tell you... through chattering teeth.

Nina's done some more Christmas shopping this lunchtime and is warming herself with a coffee as I write: her tiny hand is frozen, I hum.

Wrap up warm in the three London papers, my friends, thinking of those who are worse off than you.

Stay in the warm with us at 6.

Alastair & Nina.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 19th December

Good afternoon.
Something quite remarkable might happen on the programme tonight so I am keener than normal that you don't miss a moment of it. I am not yet referring to a fleeting visit by the fabulous Will Smith nor the gloriously naughty presence of Rupert Everett, who may or may not be dressed as the Headmistress of St. Trinians. Not even a madly optimistic weather forecast from Robin - a White Christmas for those who want one, and Caribbean warmth for those who don't. No, none of the above though all will happen. Apart from the forecast.

I am talking about something that might save young lives, would make our streets safer, certainly save taxpayers' money and suredly make us all feel that there is some good in humanity after the trials and tribulations of 2007. We believe it can do what it says on the tin and that you will all want to support it. Join us at 6 and feel better. Glen is the man with the means and we have a powerful cast of supporting players to dig deeper into what we are aiming to achieve. I am quite excited and I haven't even had my chocolate fix yet.

From Sunday, were I a regular user of Liverpool Street Station, I would probably need the entire output of Cadbury's Bournville factory to stop my spirits slumping to depths not even plumbed by Jules Verne's heroes in Journey to the Centre of the Earth. They, and here I mean the combined forces of Network Rail (you begin to smell a rat) and Transport for London (this body is now putrid),  are shutting the place for 10 days. The new East london Line requires nothing less and while they are about it they are going to level a Victorian Viaduct too. So if you had hoped to escape this madness from Stansted airport, steady your nerves for a bus ride. And if you work in the City but live in airy East Anglia, contemplate a bike or a ten day sickie. I know it has to be done but, like drilling root canals, there must one day be a better way. Jon is the man with the white coat and an ample supply of straight jackets for the commuters he will be interviewing.  Victoria Tube station is closing on Sunday, too, so the world really has gone to Croydon in a hand-cart.

When they used to cry "Bring out your dead" during the plague, the mortal remains of those tragic victims were often taken to their final place of repose in a hand-cart. Nowadays it can be anything from a modified Daimler limousine, for most, to a horse drawn, glass-sided piece of morbid Victoriana, especially popular in the East End. In parts of Essex? Who knows. Possibly a long wheel base Cortina or two Robin Reliants, back to back, welded in the middle. Anyway, it is to the final resting places of Essex that we turn our sombre attentions tonight: the authorities want to level many of them with bulldozers -no, I couldn't believe it but Faye, draped thoughtfully today in high-fashion widow's weeds, assures me it is true. The allegedly elected leaders of that shire don't like the head-stones in many of their cemeteries and feel everything needs to be squeezed up a bit closer. I think some of those Councillors may be in a "dust to dust, ashes to ashes" situation, politically, a little sooner than they had planned at this rate. Liz wears a long, black veil and sheds a tear for sanity.

Boris has a green successor to the Routemaster which is red but ecologically better. TfL say it's not on. Whether they mean the bus or the thought of Boris in charge will be tested by Piers who loves an oyster and says "ping ping" better than most.

I think that is it but, looking back, I find myself agreeing with Faye when she says, as she just did,  "This programme is packed: there won't be much time for chat". Chat? This is all a carefully and economically crafted masterpiece. I may storm back to my caravan and seek out that chocolate and that season ticket to Clacton, before it is all too late.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Nina.

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 18th December

Afternoon one and all,

Tell you what - we've got a mixed programme for you this evening. You won't find much else on the telly that works in a St Bernard, ice-dancing, climate change, Spiderman... and all rounded off with a Christmas carol. Eh, now there's an early Christmas present for you.

 

Not much Christmassy about our top story though. An old people's home in Blackheath is set to close - forcing families to find somewhere else for their elderly relatives. Now, tough business decisions have to be made and people have been given 4 month's notice. But families have told us they had no clue the home might close. In fact, they were told their loved ones had 'a home for life'. What's more, the other homes offered as replacements by the home owners... are also set to close soon. We hear from the families and the health company's Chief Executive.

 

Anyone living anywhere near Buncefield oil depot won't need reminding of 11th December 2005 - the huge explosion... the miserable aftermath. Well, today, many of them DID get an eerie echo of that morning when another huge fire broke out a warehouse nearby. We'll be reporting live from the scene.

 

Do you, like us, despair of idiots who give animals as presents at Christmas? You know - puppies that don't stay small and fluffy. Owls, that can't actually survive on chocolate buttons. Well, to drive the point home this year, the RSPCA have wheeled out the big guns, in the shape of a St Bernard. Called Angel. You'll want to meet him, but would you want to give him a home? He's big. Lovely but big.

 

And then there's climate change. Spiderman climbing up a 20 storey building in Victoria in fact. He hopes people will talk about him... and climate change. We reckon people might just talk about him... and then "pass the crisps, would you?"

 

Then who could forget High School Musical. Even High School Musical 2? Well now there's High School Musical - On Ice to end up seared on your memory. What could be more Christmassy than that?

 

Well, a carol for starters. We won't start with one. But we will end with one.

 

See you at SIX,

Ben & Nina.

 

#

London Tonight Tonight: Mon 17th Dec

Good afternoon.

Busy weekend? Bet many of you were at the super-market, or that special little supplier you try to keep to yourself, stocking up with too much food and even more drinks. Last minute presents or, perhaps, collecting that brilliantly imaginative item you've been promising to get your Special One, all year? It is that time of year when the countdown to Christmas crowds out most things, and families gear up to forget the niggles of the year and put everything behind them to focus on friendly festivication. Now think of the family of David Nowak: on Saturday night David was attending a party in Stoke Newington when a gang of gate-crashers apparently bowled in. Mayhem ensued and David was one of four kids to be stabbed. Three survived, including one who is still seriously ill. David didn't. What Christmas for the Nowaks, now, or for the families of the other 25 victims, this year, of the capital's apparently incurable addiction to knife and gun-crime? It beggars imagination but we will try, through the eyes of his friends, family, the crime fighters and victim supporters. Piers is our man looking for answers.

BAA may have come up with the answer to one of the most irritating aspects of flying in or out of Heathrow - and, if they have, there are still a number of other things for them to sort out but let us not be luddites and let us praise progress when we see it. "Buy and fly" is a distant dream because "car" nearly always gets in the way. Getting to and from the longterm car-parks at Heathrow makes doing the silk route or Napoleon's march on Moscow look like strolls in the park while paying for the short-term alternative can make you feel like the Treasury sorting out Northern Rock's short-term borrowing requirement.

Harris has been testing BAA's answer which, in his gloom, he says may prove to be another Sinclair C5 or Advanced Passenger Train - on the other hand, it might be the answer to our prayers.

We all hope that lots of kids at the wonderful Great Ormond Street Hospital get the answer to their prayers: a cure and an early return home. Others will be less lucky but are guaranteed the best possible care available anywhere in the world. Depending on their taste in music , however, their treatment got either a real boost or a serious set-back today when, at their Christmas Party, some Big Names dropped by to wish them well. If it was me on Ward 6, I'd have been a happy bunny and it wasn't a Rolling Stone or two. Put it this way, after a long and winding road across the universe, this man sought to make their illness a thing of yesterday. I'll let it be at that and leave Emma to pen the harmonies.

Where, in London, did Churchill drink (that doesn't really narrow it down) but also has the only "Drive on the Right" road-way? (That should clinch it). Phil explains how you could meander through showbiz history and political intrigue whilst bidding for a bit of it all.

Bidding for a first in our studio, a man who likes to cover himself in grease and clamber through a tennis racket. Our ambitions know no limits but the cleaners have said "go easy" with this one. Will we? Be there at 6 to discover.

Papers, weather and our first schools carol round it off nicely.

It was Nina's birthday at the weekend and she brought in the remains of not one but two cakes. I went for the chocolate so expect no quarter to be given. Others went for carrot cake and are now bouncing around on their haunches and getting surprisingly amorous for a Monday afternoon. I always knew tradition went for something. "Carrot" cake? Mr Kippling would be exceedingly disapproving.

See you at.

If I can stand.

Alastair and "BD girl" Nina.

 

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Friday 14th December - 11 days to go!

Good afternoon.
Last night I had the honour and pleasure of hosting the Royal British Legion's Christmas carol concert at the Guildhall. The Guildhall has had  a serious wash and brush up and, once again, looks the gem it always was.
It had just got a bit grubby.

 

Moving on and "Duck Face" has been a longtime pin-up of mine: the fabulous Ms Anna Chancellor of "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and a galaxy of other stuff. The only thing that nearly spoiled this otherwise splendidly English romp of a movie was the pay-off music , "Love is All Around".
In itself, a fine pop song.
In it's place in the movie, however, an embarrassment of a musical "marshmallow", to borrow from the Hugh Grant - Andie MacDowell wedding dress scene.
I doubt this will be one of the points Jasmine will put to the lovely boys who are Wet Wet Wet when she talks to them later but I am sure it will be coursing through your minds as they all flirt together at 6.

 

Ever lost your car-keys? Most nights, as I get over the angst of travelling with South West Trains, my frail mental state is further troubled by a search of my crowded and untidy brief-case for my own means to a final, motorised motion home. If you really lose them and need to replace them it can be a real bind. How come, then, a bunch of baddies not only forged DVLA papers and passports, but also managed to use the fakes to persuade car dealers on the continent that they were whoever the forgeries said they were, that they had lost their car-keys and that they needed new ones? And they fell for it!
I would just love to see the one who claimed he was Tara Palmer Tomkinson, for the sometime "It" girl was one of their victims. Ronke buckles up and switches to hands-free for you at 6 with the details of their quite proper collision with justice.

 

We've also the story of the couple who had a sort of collision with 'travelling people'. This is a red-rag to a bull for some of you, we know, but first hear the story and then see what you think. It involves law-abiding folk moving to a retirement idyll in Essex only to have their nirvana invaded. It got nasty and even involved decapitated squirrels: I am not saying it is headless horses in Sicily but it would concentrate your mind, wouldn't it? Moving on or holding your ground, Marcus is the man saying "seconds away, round one!"

 

Nothing festive about the footy clash of the titans this weekend: Arsene's Arsenal vs Abramovich's Blues - I know it's Avram's or Grant's but neither go as well with "Blues" as "Abramovich". Jon Gilbert, a Watford fan, gives us his considered and impartial view. (If Marcus gets within an inch of him, it'll all get "red"  but I'll try and keep an eye on things).

 

James casts his masterful eye over Enchanted and Bee Movie - the first one got the beautiful Faye all emotional in the meeting - I have always seen her as a sort of fairy Princess, anyway, so I can fully understand this touching reaction. Bee movie, we all agreed, lacked a sting in it's tail: see what James makes of it, though.

 

Salma glanced quizzically at me at the end of the meeting and just said "Shall I do it, then?" when we came to the fierce and exhausting debate which always rages over what goes into and who presents What Not To Miss. I think she has a demon plot in mind... but both you and I will just have to wait, diaries poised and, in my case, crash helmet to the fore, to find out.

 

Chrissie had better do better with the weather for the weekend or I will personally post her back to Nottingham, second class.
London's papers will try to keep up with our news belt so, all in all, it's all there to set you up for your merry, one-more-to-go-before-Christmas, weekend.

 

See you at six for musical mince pies and lovingly mulled news.

 

Alastair & Salma.

 

London Tonight Tonight: Thursday December 13th

 

Hello..

We're leading tonight with a row that's brewing at a Hindu temple. Vets came in and killed a cow while worshippers were at prayer ... and of course, cows are sacred in the Hindu religion. The vets say .. the cow was in pain. The monks say .. it was shocking and deceitful behaviour. Jon Gilbert's there.

The Household Cavalry have just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq, and have been honoured with a special ceremony at Windsor .. we were there too.

The services don't just protect the nation .. they protect the very drunk too .. Marcus Powell has been finding out more about the advice members of the Royal Navy are giving to revelers on how to stay safe and out of trouble when you're out on the lash. Or should that be cat o' ninetails. Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum, say I.

Staying with our brave boys .. but this time the four legged variety .. as we visit a newly restored animal cemetery where there has been a special ceremony today to honour military animals.

We've got Jane Horrocks in the studio .. she does the voice over for various animal themed cartoons , so there is a link.. and then we visits a man who has a pet reindeer. In Enfield.

I think I better leave it there..

See you at 6.

Katie and Ben.

 

 

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Weds 12th Dec

Hello everyone..

 

Just think - in two weeks' time, it'll be Boxing Day.

 

Presumably, that's good news if you love or loathe Christmas. Not long to wait until it's here - or not long to wait until it's all over. Of course, it might not be such good news if you haven't started your Christmas shopping yet...

 

Now, what do we have for you in the '13 days to go until Christmas' edition of London Tonight..?

 

First up - it seems a policeman's lot is not a happy one these days. Big meetings in London today after the Government said it wouldn't backdate their latest pay deal. What do the coppers do now? Well, they've called for the Home Secretary to resign... and they're talking about going on strike. But, legally, they can't do that? So should they be allowed to. Thoughts anyone? We'll be asking for them this evening.

 

Another story that'll get you thinking is that of a two year old boy who was taken by his father to Dubai. And he never brought him back. And he should have done, you see, because not only is his mother here - the High Court has ruled she has custody and the boy's father is breaking the law. What's more, young Carl was taken back in 2003. He's seven years old now and his desperate mother hasn't spoken to him for almost 5 years.

We'll have the latest on that.

 

What else?

 

Well, one for any 'Strictly' fans out there. Would you believe there are only TWO ballrooms in London and, this evening' we'll be reporting on the possible closure of one of them. That would cut the capital's ballroom capacity by half, yes HALF.

 

Sticking with fractions, would you believe that a recent survey showed that four out the top five scariest road junctions in the country are in and around London. Which gives me a thought. Why don't we scrap the congestion charge and instead put up lots of signs saying 'FOUR of the FIVE SCARIEST JUNCTIONS are here in LONDON'. That'll keep the numbers down.

 

Sticking with scary things now and would you believe Sweeney Todd? That 's the question. I mean, do you think there really was a demon barber of Fleet Street who slit his clients' throats while his 'woman that does' turned the bodies into pies... or is it all a figment of some very strange writer's imagination. Apparently, opinion is divided on this and, what with a new film coming out early in the new year, we thought we'd look into it a little further.

 

And... AND Chrissy's going to be in a Winter Wonderland.  Cue music...

 

See you at SIX,

 

Ben

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: 11th Dec 2007

Good afternoon.

 

Tales of the Unexpected was a rather good TV drama series, a few years back, based on the adult books of Roald Dahl - not "adult" , as in smutty, but "adult" as in NOT 'James and the Giant Peach' or 'The BFG', brilliant though they both are. Chelsea going into a game not caring about the outcome; a fabulous, after-school club that needy kids can't afford to benefit from; tickets for some of the finest West End productions at prices you can afford; and a TV company saying we WILL put part of your school carol concert on TV! All these seemingly "unlikelies" are 'definites' tonight. Be there at 6 and feast upon them all. I feel like Santa, I do, and I haven't had my chocolate yet.

 

A little more flesh on the bones of the above - we'll preview Chelsea's home tie against Valencia in the Champions League, a prestigious tournament in which they have already qualified for the knock-out phase. (Scousers of the world, we are thinking of you. Just not too deeply, but thinking we are). Ned will also be telling us why Jose won't come back and de-McClaren the FA of its managerial hang-over.

 

An ex-Prison governor has come up with a brilliant plan for an after-hours school scheme - it is a Rolls Royce of it's kind. Problem is a new report says the kids who need these kind of things most either nick their wheels or can only afford a very old Mini. We've asked Jon to stay behind and bring you up to speed.

 

London's theatreland plays Santa from today with tickets most of you normally need a small, personal loan to buy. Steve is the man selling programmes and taking drinks orders for the interval.

 

We will renew our promise to put a selection of songs from the very best of London's school's carol concerts on air before Christmas, with no ad breaks in between. Charity begins at home and sometimes makes it all the way to work, which makes The Boss very pleased and all of us very proud.

 

Also something of a tale of the unexpected, but perchance a little more serious, is the sorry tale of the alleged attack on a homeless person by one of our favourite tv entertainers. A mixture of legal advise and my desire, like a good magician, to keep something up my sleeve, precludes my saying anymore at this stage - bar telling you there's a hint in there and that Glen is at the Groucho Club. (These showbiz types!)

 

A brilliant young footballer who pays his taxes and entertains thousands every week but is an illegal immigrant is being deported. Expected or unexpected? There's a cleaver of a question! Ronke is treading carefully for you.

 

And finally, I feel I know how King Solomon felt when asked to decide who should keep the child whose parentage was disputed or should he just cut it into two and give each party a share of the cadaver?

 

Mayor Ken called a press conference and, flanked by many strong black voices including that of Damilola Taylor's dad, slagged off the Evening Standard and Andrew Gilligan for their investigations into and attacks on Lee Jasper.

Jasper is the black man whose job is to support black groups in London, boosting ethnicity and multi-culturalism. The Evening Standard is a paper Ken has form with in fall-outs and which has published Gilligan pieces alleging Jasper has squandered council tax cash in an unaccountable way by squirting it at his mates and not asking too many questions - allegedly.

 

Ken also promised an investigation into one of the groups but it's finding won't be known for some time.

 

It is the meat and drink of London journalism but a beautiful fillet mignon, courtesy of Gordon Ramsey, washed down with a little Chateau Petrus or a feted pile of rotting veg, left late at night in Berwick Street market, sluiced down with yesterday's cold tea? I don't know but I do know Harris will do the best job anyone could do in providing you with objectives facts and letting you decide. It is the best and, frankly, only way to proceed.

 

But you'll have to be here at 6 to take part in the experience.

 

Alastair & Salma

 

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Monday Dec 10th

Good afternoon.

Two years ago tomorrow, and I remember it as if it was yesterday - Buncefield blew. Miles before we got there we could see the column of black, thick smoke building over Hemel Hempstead and it's hinterland. We broadcast, live, from the top of a ski-slope that night and talked to mums, dads, kids, councillors and fire-fighters. My hair was nearly as wild as the scene - one of Europe's biggest petrol depots, threatening to explode. That didn't happen but the damage done to homes, the neighbouring farmland, businesses and the general environment was catastrophic. What is staggering is the apparent delay in putting it right: some are claiming the company is considering re-opening whilst some home-owners are still to receive full compensation. We talk to one tonight and hear what Buncefield's owners have to say too.

 

Many of you may have felt entitled to compensation, too, if  you have had to travel by rail to Gatwick or Luton airports via Thameslink and their Kings Cross/St.Pancras "hub".
"How many times do I have to change trains if I am going from London to Aberdeen, via Bristol and Norwich?" is the sort of brain-teaser rail enquiry people relish.
"Where are the Thameslink platforms?" must seem mind-numbingly dull by comparison. But it is the most frequently asked  at St.Pancras/Kings Cross. We are assured all is solved now but Phil picked up an Ordinance Survey map and a compass, to check.

One of  the original St. Trinians films was "The Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery", or something like that, and much of it was filmed around Farnham and Borden on the Hampshire Surrey borders. My brother went out with one of the original girls and I remember being very impressed when I met her. In the remake, Girls Aloud play some of the naughty school girls and I remember being overly unimpressed when my son, who I had taken to a Capital pop concert, didn't want to introduce me to Girls Aloud, as he happily chatted them up.  Alastair Sim was the original Headmistress, a role which falls to Rupert Everett this time, a curious consistency in gender confusion which has made panto and much of British comedy what it is and , bar Dustin Hoffman, continues to confuse most Americans. Our very real woman on the red carpet tonight is Jasmine who hopes to keep a level head as she hunts down Rupert and/or Colin Firth for your amusement and entertainment.

From an unlikely but hugely funny school to today's beacons of learning and, as the festive season approaches, so too do we. Tonight, we launch our search for the finest dulcet tones among our school children and we will feature the best of them in the week before Christmas. Scrooge, eat your heart out: we are on the side of the angels and Tiny Tim.

From Dickens "Christmas past,  Christmas present and Christmas future" we march to the Post Office, not to post our Christmas cards but to give them a yellow card. They used a converted bathroom-showroom, a few doors down from a Post Office they have recently shut,  to advertise the Post Office of the future. Locals, unamused, explain to Glen why the PO is off their present and card lists.

The Government wants getting on for two billion quid for Christmas marked "Spend it on something useful", just like our grannies used to with Christmas money. Problem is "useful" is the 2012 Olympics and "Spend it" - they already have.

Well, spent some and earmarked most of the rest, at any rate. Harris gets curious and possibly cross about 2012 "contingency money". We will be also asking for your thoughts.

Chrissie's back from the north - it must be really cold there because it is pretty nippy here.

The papers will probably be talking Afghanistan and mystery canoeists, but any more recent developments won't be on their front pages but in our news.

Tune in at 6, if you can. We do hope so.

Alastair & Emma

 

London Tonight Tonight: Friday 7th Dec

Good afternoon - it's Friday and, as I craft this missive, Salma is poised to slip off into the bright autumn air and head for an assignation about which she is very excited. I could tell you more but then I'd have to kill you - exclusives, you know. Anyway, by way of a predictable tribute to that all important sliver of scrumptiousness that is What Not To Miss, she has promised she will be back in time to craft it, as only she can - or so she says. I offered, believe me, I offered but she was having none of it. Possession may, for most of us, be nine tenths of the law but for Salma it is absolute. When I suggested I could help out, the look in her eyes pierced me like a bolt of electricity. I was left in no doubt.

As will more of London's villains be, given the latest deployment by the Met's Quartermasters. They are rolling out Tasers to more cops beyond the well trained specialists of CO19 which, we suspect, many of you will think is a jolly good idea. Indeed we will be asking for your e-mails and text messages on that very subject. But do first listen to our report at 6 and reflect on the deaf man in America who didn't hear what the police were ordering him to do so was horribly zapped and the Stateside guy with a weak heart but for whom the strength of his heart is a fatal irrelevance since he too was Tasered. It's up to you, of course. Phil is paying the electricity bill for you and warning you to keep your hands dry and not touch any appliances until they are.

On the other hand, and balance is even more important to us than exclusives, had there been even more cops about and had they had Tasers, Stevens Nyembo-Ya-Muteba might still be alive.

The ghastly tale of how a simple request for quiet cost him his life with the only upside, the outcome in court today. Ronke calls for order at 6.

The bus strike went away but the wind and the rain didn't so our transport system still fell victim to the unpredictable today. We sometimes talk about the straw that broke the camels back but tonight we have the twig that shattered the railways ability to cope. Marcus says it was quite a big twig and he does live in the country so he may know what he is talking about. My own view is unprintable but, suffice to say, some of the excuses our railways fall back upon to explain their inept, incompetent inability to run a celebratory event in an ale manufacturing emporium would need the most powerful electro-microscope to see and the sanctity of Mother Teresa to believe. But it's only a thought.

My 9 year old son's total disinterest in the film The Golden Compass is also difficult to believe though Salma thinks it is because he believes it is an "either or" dilemma with Fred Claus. I'll do both!

Anyway,James will be here to give me and you his own reasons for seeing or ignoring TGC and another cinematic offering, You Kill Me.

I just hope not too many recently taser-equipped cops go to see it before they have totally mastered the contraption.

Now, imagine you have driven all the way out to Reading for the Festival and you are carefully slotting your pride and joy between a big fat off-roader and a sliver of a sportscar.

Careful! Slow! Right a bit.. suddenly, a band strikes up, there and then, in the car park. Let's face it, you are likely to crash into one if not both of them. Imperial Leisure are a band who think that sort of thing is very funny and, to be frank, so do I. Steve tries to make sense of the senseless antics and the entirely peripatetic performance schedule of one of London's most exciting new musical offerings.

They may appear on Robin's weather maps or on tonight's front pages - you'll have to tune in to find out.

Now that I have drunk my tea and eaten my chocolate, do I sneak in and knock off an anarchic version of WNTM? Do I feel a bit like the late Ian Smith of Rhodesian infamy? Should I make a Unilateral Declaration of Independence and just go for it?

You'll just have to watch to see who wins this battle of wills.

That and more, at 6

Alastair & Salma.

Meantime, a word from The Boss -

A quick P.S. from the Editor..

Eagle eyed viewers will have spotted a Christmas tree in our GMTV bulletins this morning. Don't be surprised when it vanishes again at 6pm tonight! Christmas starts much earlier on GMTV than it does on London Tonight. It's not that I'm Scrooge-like (I've already got my tree up at home..) it's just that, for me, it doesn't quite feel right to have the tree up at six-o-clock until a bit later in the month. Anyway, if you don't get up in time to watch GMTV, then you'll have to wait a week or so to see it. It's blue - and thanks to our friends at John Lewis for lending us a tree again this year. Who knew you could get a tree in ITV blue?! Anyway, just thought you'd like to know why it's there one minute, gone the next....

 

London Tonight Tonight: Thursday 6th December

Good afternoon.

Katie asked if she might bring her wrap into the meeting. I accept it is cold but I didn't think she needed to cover her elegant neck and shoulders. How foolish I felt when I was told she was referring to a kind of Tex-Mex sweet-meat. Just goes to show how little some of us know about food.

School kids have no such problems. They know what they like and they reject and leave what they don't. Enter a brilliant Scottish chef who has just been voted school dinner laddie (check the spelling! a nearly clever gallic play on words) for cracking this perennial problem. You will be calling "Please sir, I want some more" when you see his skilled recipe for not only engaging the children in the creation of the food but also the verve with which they woof it down. Good tea-time stuff with Estelle.

Did you ever write notes, before exams, on your cuffs? Perhaps a small piece of paper, with crucial quotes for Corialanus, crammed in your knicker elastic? Ah, fond memories of youth, and pushing the boundaries of inventiveness and fraud. Well, there's a school tests scandal rocking our education system: systematic cheating - well certainly at certain schools, one of which is in Hemel Hempstead and another in Hackney.

What I think will make you spill your tea, even if it is a tightly wrapped wrap, is who has been doing the cheating. Phil Bayles puts an unlikely suspect in the corner and hears why mums and dads rather than jacks and jills are heading for detention. "It's a shokker"  -  (write that out properly, a hundred times, Stewart.)

Jerry Seinfeld was one of the most successful and certainly the most highly paid US sitcom artist for years. His vehicle was, unimaginatively called  Seinfeld, yielding millions of viewers and millions of bucks for his efforts. So when someone of that stature and success floats an idea for a movie, those in the know are inclined to listen. But Steven Spielberg... and bees? Steve has donned a black and yellow fur coat to do his Mr

Bumble act on the red carpet to see what resulted from the Hollywood hive. The office is buzzing. No, really!

I have needed cold drinks, a darkened room and a chaise lounge to rest upon since it was confirmed that the Goddess of Covent Garden and the Venus of the Valleys are both dropping by to talk "Viva la Diva". I find my joints tightening and my palms perspiring as I write 'Darcey Bussell and Katherine Jenkins are live, on the show tonight!"

Katie is also very excited but in a purely artistic sense. I share that but am also like a little boy who knows Santa HAS read his Christmas letter.

Finally, the Mayor's head of race relations, Lee Jasper, will be with us.
This is a tough one. The Evening Standard has published two articles claiming Lee's activities leave something to be desired when it comes to the selection, funding  and monitoring of certain groups in London engaged in race relations and ethnic diversity. You've probably read the articles but tonight you can hear what the target of them himself thinks. It matters because, if for no higher reason, it's your city and your money.

We'll have the latest on the threat of a bus strike over pay in East and West London - that's the buses in East and West London, not the pay. Tamsin Roberts, we welcome back, but,  as she slipped into her "clippie's cozzie", looked to me as if she wished the strike had already started.

Robin lightens your night with the weather, and thousands of light bulbs and sacks-full of singers in Trafalgar Square mean Christmas really is approaching.

As, I think, Darcy and Katherine probably are. Time for another moment of cool, calm reflection.

Up on your toes and through all those scales - we're live at 6.

Hope you join us.

Alastair & Katie.

 

  

London Tonight Tonight: Weds 5th Dec

Hello you,

 

Or should that be -

 

Dear Darlings and Lovies.

 

You see, this evening we have got more of the great and gorgeous from the sparkly world of stage and screen than you or anyone could shake a stick at. Why you'd want to shake a stick at them is another matter. Anyway, tonight we report on not one but TWO showbiz bashes.

 

First up there's the 10th Anniversary of 'Chicago' here in London. In the decade since the current production of the raunchy musical first opened at the Adelphi, it's starred the likes of Tony Hadley, Ruthie Henshall, Gaby Roslin, Nigel Planer, Ute Lemper, Duncan James, David Hasselhoff. The list goes on and a good number of them are gathering at the Cambridge Theatre tonight for a rather special performance. Jasmine's been hanging around the rehearsals.

 

And, as if THAT weren't enough, we'll also be reporting on another night of stars at the Wilton Music Hall in the East End. The place has been entertaining audiences since the 19th Century and it looks like it. It desperately needs some repair work but the problem is paying for it. So, to that end, Dame Helen Mirren and Hugh Grant are on the guest list for a little soiree. Oh, and Robin McCallum will be there, with his little face up against the window, seeing how the other half live.

 

The programme will start though on a more controversial note. ALLEGATIONS that Lee Jasper - Ken Livingstone's 'Director of Equalities & Policing' - is being investigated by the GLA after it was ALLEGED that public money has been awarded to organisations to which he or his mates are closely connected. We should point out the Mayor says nothing's been done wrong and this is simply a smear campaign. Now, we have to be very careful what's said here, but it certainly seems right to be asking:

1. Does Mr Jasper have any influence over the allocation of grants of public money?
2. IF so... to which organisations have those grants been awarded?
3. DO Mr Jasper or his mates have connections with any such companies or organisations?
4. IF so... is that right?
5. How has the public money been spent?

(I think our lawyers should be happy with that).

 

One more story we should flag up for you...and, frankly, it's the sort of story that makes everything above pale into insignificance. At first look, it's about an exhibition of children's paintings and pictures being shown at the Bankside Gallery. But all the children involved have one thing in common. They're not expected to make it into adulthood. What we have then is an exhibition of skill, truth and innocence that humbles us all.

 

See you at SIX.

 

 

Ben & Katie

 

 

London Tonight Tonight: Tuesday December 4th

Good afternoon.

Builders. Can't live with them, can't live without them. I, of an afternoon, enjoy what we laughingly call Builders Tea: PG Tips, hot-water, cold milk, full-stop. I have two cups and a bar of chocolate to fire the turbines and spark the internal combustion engine which, jointly, give me the energy to present our programme for you, alongside the naturally energetic and naturally lovely Katie.
For the last few days, I have been denied both -  (all three if you count the cups of tea separately and then the choclotae bar) - by dint of builders. Our newsroom is currently being refurbished to look like a cross between the Security Council of the UN and Quaglino's restaurant. The builders have erected blue screens to hide their architectural excesses but, in so doing, have denied us sight of the tea-trolley. I keep missing it and I am fading fast.

 

But this is as nothing compared to what their cousins have been up to at Shepherd's Bush Railway Station - a new, overground monument to the iron-horse system that serves our great capital.
A new shopping centre, a new over-land line, much expenditure and excitement, and platforms that are too narrow. "What!", I feel I hear you say. "Yes", I quip quietly back: "too narrow". The small matter of about £7m will now have to be spent to put it right otherwise the busy shoppers and commuters of SB will be standing too close for comfort to the oncoming carriages. "Stand-clear of the train" will be redundant even if annouced by the former naughty lady of the loudspeakers! Harris is hemmed in by the mob and Ken blows his top at 6.

 

We are not blowing our tops but blowing the whistle on the 12 "cons" of Christmas and are asking for your experiences of seasonal sharp practice. Our own song-bird, la belle Faye, penned the words and the London Gospel Choir deliver the Crimble Caution. Emma dons tinsle and raises her conductor's baton at 6.

 

We go on air at 6: not a moment earlier and not a moment later. People have start times for their work as a general and logical arrangement. Many start much earlier than you or I because we need their services or their vittals, later in the day. Milkmen, posties and transport workers all come to mind. So what should a butcher do when his new landlord says he can't fillet those beef cuts nor trim the pork until after 9am?  It has happened and it looks like cleavers at dawn. Robin is wearing a rather fetching blue and white striped ensemble for you and wraps it all up in grease-proof paper at 6.

 

Dolly Parton, who tends to be wrapped up in pink and frills, taught us all how to spell 'divorce' and taught us of the pain and ignomany of failed marriages, all to a rather fetching country melody. Fired up by her abundant success, she now intends to educate the world's children more generally with her Imagination Library - a book for every child! Jasmine met the mega star who Faye said describes herself as a backward Barbie but I can't remember why nor how. That, too, may be revealed at 6. Stand By Your Man was my more optimistic take but then I always was a "cup half full" rather than a "cup half-empty" man: apart from when it comes to tea in which, of late, I have been a no-cup man. Builders.

 

Politicians: "men and women of honour who stand by their word". Discuss. One of them came on the programme on Thursday and pledged to do "something" about the plight of Boyhood to Manhood, the charity generally thought to be doing good in keeping kids off the streets and away from crime." Yeah" , some of you may have thought. We've been on Keith Vaz's case. Has he been true to his word? Find out at 6. It's all rather exciting.

 

Will Robin be true to his meteorological word? Of course he will.

And will London's papers tell the truth on their front pages or will you wrap your fish and chips in them? The salt and vinegar of London's news , all just for you, at 6.

 

If I seem to be fading, send a Red Cross parcel with tea, powdered milk and chocolate.

See you at 6.

 

Alastair & Katie