Good afternoon.
Tales of the Unexpected was a rather good TV drama series, a few years back, based on the adult books of Roald Dahl - not "adult" , as in smutty, but "adult" as in NOT 'James and the Giant Peach' or 'The BFG', brilliant though they both are. Chelsea going into a game not caring about the outcome; a fabulous, after-school club that needy kids can't afford to benefit from; tickets for some of the finest West End productions at prices you can afford; and a TV company saying we WILL put part of your school carol concert on TV! All these seemingly "unlikelies" are 'definites' tonight. Be there at 6 and feast upon them all. I feel like Santa, I do, and I haven't had my chocolate yet.
A little more flesh on the bones of the above - we'll preview Chelsea's home tie against Valencia in the Champions League, a prestigious tournament in which they have already qualified for the knock-out phase. (Scousers of the world, we are thinking of you. Just not too deeply, but thinking we are). Ned will also be telling us why Jose won't come back and de-McClaren the FA of its managerial hang-over.
An ex-Prison governor has come up with a brilliant plan for an after-hours school scheme - it is a Rolls Royce of it's kind. Problem is a new report says the kids who need these kind of things most either nick their wheels or can only afford a very old Mini. We've asked Jon to stay behind and bring you up to speed.
London's theatreland plays Santa from today with tickets most of you normally need a small, personal loan to buy. Steve is the man selling programmes and taking drinks orders for the interval.
We will renew our promise to put a selection of songs from the very best of London's school's carol concerts on air before Christmas, with no ad breaks in between. Charity begins at home and sometimes makes it all the way to work, which makes The Boss very pleased and all of us very proud.
Also something of a tale of the unexpected, but perchance a little more serious, is the sorry tale of the alleged attack on a homeless person by one of our favourite tv entertainers. A mixture of legal advise and my desire, like a good magician, to keep something up my sleeve, precludes my saying anymore at this stage - bar telling you there's a hint in there and that Glen is at the Groucho Club. (These showbiz types!)
A brilliant young footballer who pays his taxes and entertains thousands every week but is an illegal immigrant is being deported. Expected or unexpected? There's a cleaver of a question! Ronke is treading carefully for you.
And finally, I feel I know how King Solomon felt when asked to decide who should keep the child whose parentage was disputed or should he just cut it into two and give each party a share of the cadaver?
Mayor Ken called a press conference and, flanked by many strong black voices including that of Damilola Taylor's dad, slagged off the Evening Standard and Andrew Gilligan for their investigations into and attacks on Lee Jasper.
Jasper is the black man whose job is to support black groups in London, boosting ethnicity and multi-culturalism. The Evening Standard is a paper Ken has form with in fall-outs and which has published Gilligan pieces alleging Jasper has squandered council tax cash in an unaccountable way by squirting it at his mates and not asking too many questions - allegedly.
Ken also promised an investigation into one of the groups but it's finding won't be known for some time.
It is the meat and drink of London journalism but a beautiful fillet mignon, courtesy of Gordon Ramsey, washed down with a little Chateau Petrus or a feted pile of rotting veg, left late at night in Berwick Street market, sluiced down with yesterday's cold tea? I don't know but I do know Harris will do the best job anyone could do in providing you with objectives facts and letting you decide. It is the best and, frankly, only way to proceed.
But you'll have to be here at 6 to take part in the experience.
Alastair & Salma
