Ken "West Ham were robbed" Hayes is in charge today and was a little late for our planning meeting. He tells me he went to give blood. Despite that, he ran through our "offering" to you without notes! The miracle of modern medicine.
Mind you, it's a good set of "offerings" and I think you will find much to interest, entertain and even exasperate you.
How close, for example, did London come to being "de-Boris-ed" ? There he was, the blonde velopede, cruising under cover of a throng of velopeds when a lorry came close, hit a speed bump, threw its door open and nearly reduced London's population of cyclists by "several" and London's stock of Mayors by "one". Given we only have "one", this was a serious threat. It was all captured on video so we can analyse the risk to London's democracy, frame by frame.
Whether this made today's bid to encourage more Londoners to take to their bikes a "close run thing" I don't know. I suspect people turned out for the handsome Olympic yatchsman with the tousled hair, despite the rain. Damian borrows The Office Bike Clips (previous owners: Glen and Lewis) to find out.
How close is Afghanistan to being devoid of Afghanis? Not at all, I can assure you. But it may seem like that in parts of London as a Khyber Pass-full of them wend their way here , day after day. Given what we have seen and heard of Helmand Province, Laskhagar and the Swat Valley, I am not surpirised. And given the insurgent Taliban's approach to education is "a little for the lads and none at all, under pain of death, for the lasses" I am even less suprised. It is not for me to take sides over the war but I can certainly sympathise with anyone who thinks anywhere on the planet is a better place to be in than Afghanistan just now. But for London and it's social services, it's hospitals and it's schools, there are real pressures. Ronke examines them from both ends of the telescope with passion and impartiality.
Just how close is one of the country's best Boy's Homes to being empty? Very close unless the Youth Justic Board changes it's mind. Mind you, they're closed today because they get another day off unlike the rest of us who only got yesterday. Where's the "justice" in that, I ask? But back to my theme. This place is not poised to be empty because the youngsters have done their own versions of Tom, Dick and Harry, sprinkling soil from their trouser bottoms around the streets and parks of Penge. Nor are there a bunch of little Steve McQueens' in the making, poised to blast their bikes over the fence. No, the authorities are closing it. It is a brillinat place, held up as a vertiable icon of excellence , doing good in keeing kids straight. So, let's close it. someone said. Lewis, as straight and narrow a childhood as you could hope to have, asks, Malcolm Muggeridge like, "Why???"
Little Layla Towsey was frighteningly close to death. She had meningitis and, as most people know, too many children don't come back from there. In a Dickens novel, however, her miraculous recovery (hurrah!) would have been to the shrill chords of a church organ; in a spagettii western, it would have been to the strains of Aaron Copelands Fanfare for the Common Man. But in C21st London it was by way of a tribute to a band of Scandanavian troudabours who eared more for their native Sweden , at their peak, than Volvo did. If you know the story already, you'll enjoy it again. If you don't, I'll say no more but ask you to be there and join with Layla's mum in saying thankyou for the music she did come round to.
Just how close are Bob Marley and Amy Whinehouse? Not at all, as far as I know, but they have a shared heritage. It was John Donne who wrote "no man is an island" but had a man not established a very particular Island, that connection wouldn't be there. How close these things can be. How ethereal. A brief encounter or a "never met" yet unbreakable link... The Oz is looking confused. I'll hum "Still haven't found what I'm looking for" and remember E.M.Forster's famous line from "Howards End" : 'connect. only connect'. I love it. She is now smiling, stroking her hair, sipping her water and wondering..... who is coming to take me, or better him, away?
I will, however, be here, with her, at your disposal, at 6.
Unless Bono needs me.
See you them. I hope.
Alastair and Alex
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