London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 3rd September

Good afternoon.

I bow to no man in my admiration of Lewis Vaughan Jones: handsome, articulate and a gifted reporter. However, to suggest that he is the reincarnation of the man many hold to be the Messiah, may be pushing it a tad. But that is what The Big Boss has just suggested to our meeting. Mad? Possibly but if I were to suggest that it would be a Bad Career Move for me. For the Big Boss to have said what he said about Lewis is clearly a Very Good Career Boost.

Today Lewis is loitering in a Guards Polo Club shirt, from his marvellous piece on Polo, some little time ago; but even that sartorial travesty is forgiven. He has just returned from Crete and from talking to a man who was beaten into a coma by five thugs some three months ago. The man has muttered some of his first words in the presence of LVJ who also talks to his mum. His mum is ecstatic. The lad is getting quite a bit happier though there is a long way to go. See if you agree with TBB's assessment of LVJ's miraculous powers, at 6.

Joan Baez had a miraculous impact upon me in my teens, turning me from a hard-working, slightly conservative choir boy at a Benedictine boarding school, into a long-haired, left wing rabble rouser at University.

Quite how the words to "Silver Dagger" and "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" did it, I can't recall but I do remember being seriously impressed with her refusal to pay that element of her US taxes that she judged to be an enforced contribution to the costs of the Vietnam war which she, like many, opposed. Tonight, Liz will introduce you to Tom and Rita Glenister, the pensioners from Barnet, who are yet to utter even a phrase from "Blowin' In The Wind" or "The Times They Are A'Changing" but who are following Joan Baez and risking the liberties many before them fought for, in protest at their Council Tax for the Olympics. Heroes or mad as a pair of Hatters? You be the judges.

 

If they hold their ground and pay the ultimate price, then the road they live in will spring to life on Boris's All Singing, All Dancing interactive Crime Map. He threatened it during the Mayoral election campaign and, blow me down, he's done it. Politicians delivering on promises? It is becoming a bit of a habit. Anyway, Harris sees the state Bozza was in, the morning after the night before at the GQ awards where BJ picked up a tasty gong. Believe me, it will make sense in Harris's hands.

I was sitting there reading the Lunchtime edition of London Today to you when Ken "football crazy so long as it's West Ham" Hayes cried into my ear "Curbishley's resigned!". He 'cried' both in terms of volume and emotion, I hasten to add. He was cross when I asked to check if it was CurbRishley or just Curbishley... he really felt I should have known and he was, as always, right. Anyway Alan is off but is it in a north-easterly direction, or has he been frozen out by the Icelandic raiders???

Ken is cross with the fans, the board and anyone who crosses his path this afternoon. He will remain emotional but Marcus, a life-long Gooner, will be his normal, objective self and explain all.

 

 

I adore Lucy Cotter in a way significantly different to the admiration and affection I feel for LVJ. But it has all gone, in a flash of stacked hair and tuille: Keira Knightley, a Goddess, graces the red carpet tonight at the premiere of "DUCHESS" and grants London Tonight another interview.

It should have been me.

It could have been me.

Yesterday, I failed to secure the "lip and tongue" artwork from the Rolling Stones favourite designer - today, a second audience with the fragrant, elegant, perfect and pure Ms Knightley. I fear it is a bottle of whisky, a warm bath and a revolver for me.

One of the last memories I will take with me to The Other Side is that of Ben Scotchbrook on the top of a Double Decker Bus with Sir Cliff Richard on tonight's show. What can it mean? Goodbye, cruel world, I'm leaving you...

 

But not before I record the fact that the orchestra and the Judges in the BBC's otherwise excellent MAESTRO programme are heartless, brainless fools - devoid of judgment and purpose, led by an indulgent, moronic has-been ex-lawyer and ex-humourist... have I taken Katie's departure from that programme well? Have I hell!

She will grace our programme tonight and I am honoured to sit with her.

Goldie? Perkins? Asher? Pah. Musical minnows.

Alastair & Katie "Amadeus" Derham.