Good afternoon.
What do Clint Eastwood and Boris Johnson have in common? Clint didn't go to Eton nor is he, to the best of my knowledge, a classicist. Bozza, on the other hand, eschews charootes and wouldn't recognise an appaloosa if is kicked him in the seat of the pants.
No, it is the world of politics that binds these unlikely blood-brothers - Clint was Mayor of Carmel, in California whilst Bozza is, and will remain for at least the next 3 years and 8 months, the Mayor of our great city.
Bozza is an ex-editor of The Spectator and Clint isn't.
Clint made "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" and Bozza didn't.
Nevertheless, this evening, we invite you to Spectate upon the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
The Good is exemplified by genius Irish comic Patrick Keilty and friends being hilarious in advance of their Soccer Aid match this weekend which will enhance the lives of thousands of children. Nick talks to him and both are heckled by Alan Shearer. Gordon Ramsay is doing the teas and a host of short-wearing wizards, who actually know what they are doing, will be there too. Good for them and good for the kids.
The Bad is - according to what a court heard today - actually an understatement - a man from Rotherhithe, accused of causing fatal mayhem but a stones throw from where Jack the Ripper did his evil a little over a century ago. Ronke tells you as much as she can, given the early hour and the potential presence of children.
And the Ugly is the weather. It is Friday which is followed by the weekend and what can we expect? Grounds for wrapping up warm in a blanket, brewing a pot of tea and watching black and white movies all weekend. Robin will attempt to explain away this September travesty with his customary, if not a little surreal, wit.
Somewhere between Bad and Ugly is the accidental, tragic shooting of another small child by air-gun - and, as with the recent case in Birmingham ,it was a family weapon and the shot was fired by a family member. Nick is at the scene and has been talking to friends and neighbours - some of whom are clearly not both...
Good, Bad AND Ugly was the stunt to give thousands of pounds worth of petrol away as a video promotion. Good because people got free petrol. Bad because it caused chaos on the streets and Ugly because those who were turned away got very pouty and petulant. Phil calms nerves and, honest, didn't take even a litre of the Middle East's finest before filing his report.
Defying catagorisation is my conversation with a middle weight boxer who went to Beijing and came back with Gold and the admiration of us all. James De Gale is big, funny and very thoughtful. I am sure you will enjoy him.
Another Olympian, Chris Hoy, meets Buster, the 102 year old London man who some don't think is 102. Hoy won a lot of medals and Buster says he'll do London to Brighton on a bike. You'd have thought they had both proved quite enough already but you can't help admiring them, can you?
James, we admire, for his grasp of cinematography and this week we ask him for his views on two films the premier's of which we covered live for you. So now the glitter dust has settled on the red carpet, what do we really think of Rocknrolla (Guy Ritchie) and Duchess - Kiera Knightley? I pause to regain my breath and composure.
Earlier, Salma gave me a monster slice of chocolate cake which I thought was really kind until, just as I sunk my teeth into a colossal quantity of calories, our brilliant director called "Who is doing What Not To Miss ?". If I did say 'me' it must have sounded like a muffled plea of submission or a suggestion that Salma might be better placed to do it. Anyway, as I sit here licking my lips and fingers, she is recording her beginners guide to what you might like to do this weekend . She is getting as devious as devious gets. But the cake was good.
So, after a quick trip to the basement ablutions to wash my hands I'll be poised and ready to sit next to Ms "Got YOU Again" and offer you London's finest account of that which has passed today and that which beckons over the next 48 hours. In full colour.
See you then, at 6.
Alastair and Salma
