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18.6.08

Wednesday 18th June

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 18th June

Good afternoon.

A moment of drama at our planning meeting. The Big Boss's computer crashed so Faye, in fashionable jeans and a rather nice pink and grey top, had to run through her thoughts for tonight's programme from memory.

A man had lost the keys to the Northern Line causing mass chaos; then The Big Boss "hit button B" and there was light. As the printer whirred into action, it appears there aren't keys to the Northern Line and that, in fact, engineering works had over-run - according to TfL. Faye's was a much better story but, alas, her memory had played tricks on her and the nano-world of speed-of-light electrons had come to the rescue.

Computers? Can't live with them, can't live without them. I wonder if St. George's Hospital in Tooting will key that in as a defense for having lost the personal records of 20,000 patients? Their main frame (technical jargon for big grey boxes in the basement) had had a hiccup and so they were using lap-tops: 6 of them. They were all stolen and, along with them, endless details of peoples' piles, "transmittable" ailments, boils on bums and other misfortunes better kept a secret between oneself and one's doctor. Who now knows who's got what, we know not: Nick is our hacker-in-chief.

The old met the new when some Americans were being shown the Magna Carta in the House of Lords at lunchtime today.

"When was it signed? " asked one of them.

"1215" said the Guide.

"Gee, just missed it", said the American noting on his watch it was half past twelve.

2012 is not a little before eight fifteen: it is the date of the London Olympics. Or it is supposed to be. But a new report says that, whilst the date may be set, the budget is running rather "fast". It seems there could be monstrous overspend whilst some of the projects are running a little "slow" and will need some performance enhancing economics if they are to be ready on time. We ask the man in charge of delivery how, given you are not allowed a "head-start" in the Olympics, he is going to make it to the finishing line on time and within budget. Boris is doing the Pontius Pilate bit and washing his hands.

It may take a super-hero to sort it out so we have asked Will Smith, star of the latest super-hero movie "Hancock" to join us. He said he'd come as far as Leicester Square if Lucy was there so we agreed to both requests. Watch them and swoon at 6.

A man woke up to find he was under attack by a Police dog who was supposed to be enforcing the law next door. Or Faye may have had another mad moment. Glen has a lead and a very big glove so who knows what might come of it all.

And we revisit Littlewoods request for the return of the money they sent a pensioner as rebate only to ask for it back. I'd merely point out we have Will Smith and police dogs on the show. Their move.

Why is it raining? Because Chrissie said it would. So, can't she just say it'll be sunny tomorrow and forever? Isn't that how it should work?

Find out at 6.

Alastair and Salma (only two days to go to Friday!) Siraj