Good afternoon.
Captain Fantastic was an Elton John album; Captain Marvel a Super-hero and Captain Birds-Eye a rather dubious cliché of a character, pressed into action, over the years, to flog fish fingers.
Captain Cool and Captain Courage are just a couple of the names the newspapers have come up with for Peter Burkhill, the guy who steered the "12.55 from Beijing" over houses, factories and fences in a literally death defying feat of aeronautical skill because, in the process, he saved 152 lives on the 'plane and God knows how many on the ground. He speaks later this afternoon and we suspect that you, like us, will be intrigued by his every word.
I was also intrigued when Salma said, at 3.22pm, that she had already taken a look at the script for What Not to Miss and so she might just as well record it. I feel out-flanked and bullied but it would be churlish of me to deny what may be her only serious pleasure today.
What has been but a small part of the enormous pleasures that I have already enjoyed today, and a mere smidgen of those I plan to enjoy before the sun sets over the yard-arm, is reading about Janet Devers who, like her mum before her, sells fruit and veg' from a market stall. That, in itself, would put her in my "hero" category. That it is a second generation business brings her yet more brownie points. But Sainthood and super-hero status are guaranteed for Janet because she sells her fine and earthy produce by the pound as well as mentioning the weight, in passing and surely only to satisfy those mainly tubby and normally self-satisfied types in Brussels, in kilos. I can remember tables that featured rods, poles and perches by way of length measurement and there is just something splendidly nostalgic about the old language of measurement - pounds and ounces ... "Lbs" and "Ozs". They will be after our pounds sterling and pennies next. Hurrah for Janet... is one side of the argument and, as this case went to court, we will, of course, reflect both with equal fairness and impartiality.
We are re-introducing a sportsbelt as we call it tonight - a series of four or so shortish sports stories which we hope you will enjoy and find interesting. In the worst circumstance that you don't, it will provide you with time to stroke the cat, poke the fire or draw the curtains: just don't get the nouns and verbs muddled up.
I was muddled when I asked why our story called "Fridge" wasn't in the sportsbelt convinced, as I was, that he was a very large player of American gridiron football.
In a flash I impressed The Big Boss, who is in charge to day as Faye is getting her three days of beauty sleep. But I also disappointed him: that I knew of a football player called "the fridge" impressed him. That I had forgotten about the sentencing of some nasties over a brutal attack at a nightclub called "The Fridge" didn't.
Learn, with me, the full outcome.
Finally James casts his eagle eye over the weekend's celluloid offerings both of which look terrific but for his choice and for his views, you'll have to tune in at 6.
In addition to the weather and the papers, we have a wonderfully off-the-wall tale which is like Michael Douglas's Gordon Gecko character in "Wall Street" meeting Steptoe & Son. "Greed is good, you dirty old man...". Older viewers will know instantly what I mean. Younger viewers will, I hope, find it worth investing their time in finding out what on earth I am going on about.
All and more, at 6.
Alastair & Salma.
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