Wednesday 18th June

Good afternoon.

A moment of drama at our planning meeting. The Big Boss's computer crashed so Faye, in fashionable jeans and a rather nice pink and grey top, had to run through her thoughts for tonight's programme from memory.

A man had lost the keys to the Northern Line causing mass chaos; then The Big Boss "hit button B" and there was light. As the printer whirred into action, it appears there aren't keys to the Northern Line and that, in fact, engineering works had over-run - according to TfL. Faye's was a much better story but, alas, her memory had played tricks on her and the nano-world of speed-of-light electrons had come to the rescue.

Computers? Can't live with them, can't live without them. I wonder if St. George's Hospital in Tooting will key that in as a defense for having lost the personal records of 20,000 patients? Their main frame (technical jargon for big grey boxes in the basement) had had a hiccup and so they were using lap-tops: 6 of them. They were all stolen and, along with them, endless details of peoples' piles, "transmittable" ailments, boils on bums and other misfortunes better kept a secret between oneself and one's doctor. Who now knows who's got what, we know not: Nick is our hacker-in-chief.

The old met the new when some Americans were being shown the Magna Carta in the House of Lords at lunchtime today.

"When was it signed? " asked one of them.

"1215" said the Guide.

"Gee, just missed it", said the American noting on his watch it was half past twelve.

2012 is not a little before eight fifteen: it is the date of the London Olympics. Or it is supposed to be. But a new report says that, whilst the date may be set, the budget is running rather "fast". It seems there could be monstrous overspend whilst some of the projects are running a little "slow" and will need some performance enhancing economics if they are to be ready on time. We ask the man in charge of delivery how, given you are not allowed a "head-start" in the Olympics, he is going to make it to the finishing line on time and within budget. Boris is doing the Pontius Pilate bit and washing his hands.

It may take a super-hero to sort it out so we have asked Will Smith, star of the latest super-hero movie "Hancock" to join us. He said he'd come as far as Leicester Square if Lucy was there so we agreed to both requests. Watch them and swoon at 6.

A man woke up to find he was under attack by a Police dog who was supposed to be enforcing the law next door. Or Faye may have had another mad moment. Glen has a lead and a very big glove so who knows what might come of it all.

And we revisit Littlewoods request for the return of the money they sent a pensioner as rebate only to ask for it back. I'd merely point out we have Will Smith and police dogs on the show. Their move.

Why is it raining? Because Chrissie said it would. So, can't she just say it'll be sunny tomorrow and forever? Isn't that how it should work?

Find out at 6.

Alastair and Salma (only two days to go to Friday!) Siraj

Tuesday 17th June

Good afternoon.

By common consent, Michael Dosunmu was a good boy and his brother Hakeem wasn't. Michael behaved and even went to Church. Hakeem didn't. He had been a soldier, but had returned from war a troubled young man who appears to have "gone off the rails". To his mother, however, they were her sons and she loved them equally. Michael was murdered by two young men who thought the form they saw, wrapped in blankets and fast asleep, was Hakeem. A mother's reaction to that unmitigated disaster, that insoluble mystery, that act of mindless brutality? A lesson for us all, as you will hear at 6.

Many of you listening and watching will think her reaction unnatural, even weak. If you do, when you watch our second report on a man who shares a surname with the killers of Damilola Taylor, you might just think again. It is a gamble on our part, but one we are proud to take, as we issue you with a challenge to your deepest prejudices, if prejudices you have. You might be with Mrs Dosunmu in which case, you too are a very fine spirit. Hope I've tempted you.

Sam Cross was tempted by the thrill of flying. So much so that he persuaded his parents to let him take up lessons at the ripe young age of 16 - a year before he could even get a provisional driving license. He was approaching the runway at Southend Airport when he was told to make way for a bigger plane. Youth or inexperience, who knows, but what happened next was a catastrophe which Marcus will chart for you at 6.

We will also lift your spirits tonight: Rob and Fiona Parker-Cole were on their way to hospital because pregnant Fiona knew, as they say in the Bible, that "her time had come". What she didn't realise was that it had actually come a little faster than she anticipated! Phil will explain how a car park, a lecturer in ante natal medicine, and a bit of back seat activity saved the day as we introduce Oscar Parker-Cole to you.

We will also re-introduce to you Mr Ray "I did it my way" Quinn who has reached a new peak in his career - this time as a "geek" in the West End. He was so nearly The One That You Wanted - were it not for Leona Lewis; but we hope you'll be pleased to re-make his acquaintance.

We may go to Ascot but we're having a bit of a problem at the moment - as are the women who are trying to get in whilst wearing spaghetti straps (no, I don't know either) and others who have gone to the trouble of proving they are wearing underwear! The sport of kings? I despair.

Papers and weather - let's have some more of the same, please Chrissie- round it off.

Salma is with me again because Katie is still working on the buses, checking tickets and ringing bells. Or something like that. You may have read about it in the papers, so Salma and I will bat on, on our own. Bat On. Geddit?

See you at 6.

Alastair and Salma (isn't it Friday yet? I don't want to MISS anything) Siraj

Monday 16th June

Good afternoon.

I quite often drop my younger boys off at a local municipal swimming pool at the weekend whilst I have a coffee, a ciggy and finish off the papers. I count them in and I count them out. They love it and it suits me. You will imagine the horror I, and all of us, felt when we heard about the seven year old girl who drowned at the weekend in a pool in Essex. The tragic episode is the subject of an investigation but, even ahead of that, we thought, with the summer holidays just around the corner, it might be worth taking a closer look at public pools and what they do to make them as safe as possible.

We've already come across a remarkable bit of kit they use in Wales which we will be asking for your views on. Marcus and Nick perform a sensitive relay for you.

No sensitivity, in my view, from Littlewoods - a family business from Merseyside that made millions from the pools (footy that is, not swimming) and catalogue sales. We have the case of Helen Griffin, in her 60s, who had paid off her debt for stuff she'd got from the catalogue, only to get not one but two cheques from the scousers because she'd overpaid.

"You sure" her family are sure they asked. "Sure, we're sure" the family are sure Littlewoods said.

The next communication will make you incandescent with rage, we think. No chance of a score draw as things stand and Littlewoods say it is a home win, according to the panel. Phil has his pencil hovering over the coupon that is his script as I write.

Also hovering is Lenny Henry who opens in Richmond in just a few hours time. He popped in to see us and made us roar with laughter and think quite a lot. It is a good mix of emotional reactions to one of the biggest and nicest blokes in showbusiness. Hear him roar at 6.

Also roaring will be the crowds who will gather in the Mall in August to mark the handover of the Olympic flag from the Beijingers to us Londoners. A dry run in the Mall caught Lucy's lovely eye and she will guide you through it, including Boris' commitment not to make a twit of himself when it comes to the equivalent of the baton handover. I am not holding my breath.

Though I did when I was told I was going to a private viewing of a movie on Friday night and then interviewing the stars on Monday morning. Who might they be? A personal hero, like Dustin Hoffman? A Bond favourite like Brosnan or Connery, come to that? Or a couple of likely lads just starting out and looking to me for a leg up? If I tell you I swooned, was charmed, and became not a little excited you will be drifting in the right direction. A blonde and a brunette. A classic English rose and a thoroughly modern, sassy star. Both beauties and both charming. I hope you like meeting them as much as I did. If I tell you we talked about Dylan but not Subterranean Homesick Blues you might get a clue.

I am joined tonight, again, by Salma, who appears to be in training for something. Head down, talking to herself and writing... frantically - the outcome, clearly, will be something not to miss.

Alastair and Salma "sorry I am very busy" Siraj.

Friday June 13th

Hello

 

If you tune into ITV1 at 6pm today, you'll see the second half of Italy v Romania in Group C of Euro 2008.

 

So if you're hoping to see Studio 4 in Grays Inn Road rather than the Letzigrund Stadium in Zurich,  probably best to tune in at four instead. Although you could record what we do at 4pm and watch it at six pm - or you could watch it at itvlocal.com/london - and just pretend it's your usual dose of London Tonight. But that might be taking things a bit too far.

 

Anyway - join us at four for all the days news - including how the tanker drivers strike is affecting fuel supplies in and around London - and the restaurant that's taken outside dining to a new level.

 

All that - and your weekend weather. At four. (Or six if you record us and play us back, or watch on itv local. But maybe we shouldn't get into that again)

 

 

 

 

Stuart

The Editor.

 

 

Thursday 12th June

Good afternoon again.

No Al or Katie I'm afraid, we've got them working so hard there's no time for a chat! But they'll be with you at 4 o'clock this afternoon - just like yesterday.

And we'll be jampacked full of stories. From Kevin Tripp, the 57 year old father caught up in a trivial argument that cost him his life... To the baby food being recalled because it's caused violent sickness in children in North London. We'll have the very latest on that scary case, and all the information YOU need to protect your little ones.

As if that weren't enough - we're out on patrol with the Security Guards hired by London's wealthiest residents at the whopping cost of 50 thousand pounds a year! Phil Bayles joined the boys protecting the rich and famous.

And the Portuguese invasion at Chelsea proceeds apace. Big Phil Scolari is taking over at Stamford Bridge. But what do the Blues' fans make of that decision?
Piers will find out.

And all that dressed up with the lovely Al and Katie. What more could you ask for? I know, nothing.

See you at 4 then!

Faye (the Programme Editor)

Wednesday 11th June

Well it is just about the afternoon - so good afternoon,

we've been booted out of our usual slot today by lots of men in shorts ... there are worse ways to go. The Czech Republic play Portugal in Geneva today so we are on much earlier at 4pm.

But it's a perfectly formed little show we have for you. First the Tory Councillor in Shepherds Bush who for reasons best known to herself, has launched an attack on Indian families on one estate accusing them of throwing litter from their windows ... It does though appear that the good Councillor not only lacks tact, but has no proof either. Pier Hopkirk attempts to get the bottom of this rather grubby mess.

By the way, you can see that story on ITV1 at 4 o'clock...

As MPs vote on the controversial 42 days for holding terror suspects, we hear a passionate plea from a father who lost his daughter in the London bombings.

We've also got toxic sofas and a live from Pinewood studios where the Curse of Bond has struck again.

Did I mention we're on at 4?

Plus of course Robin and his clouds of doom will be here to tell us that even though we'll be leaving early today - there'll be no sunbathing for us. Bah!

So, set your reminders for 1600.

Salma and Al

Tuesday 10th June

Good Afternoon .. And I sincerely hope you are enjoying it because we all may have to put our shorts away again soon ... Robin says he'll be sending clouds overhead once more. Is there any good news on the horizon? We'll have to wait and see...

Bad news has already arrived for some poor Hounslow residents after a fire broke out in their block of flats today - the blaze is thankfully out, but the place is still smouldering. Thanks to the very quick response of the emergency services everyone made it out alive, but no-one will be going back in. Phil Bayles is there trying to find out what caused the fire - and what happens next for the devastated people who are now homeless.

Our top story though is just truly bizarre - follow this if you please .... a wife gets fed up with her husband, asks her boyfriend how much it would cost to have him killed, then asks her brother to lend her the money for a hitman. The brother shops her to the police. The wife is sentenced to 7 years ... BUT - get this - the husband vows to stand by her side and says he'll wait for her as she serves her time. The world is a very strange place, but as my husband says "it's always the wife"... he may have a point.

Now think of all those places you want to see in the world before they disappear forever .... In fact you don't have to think ... A list has been published .... Rare, cultural and historically significant spots across the globe like the Amazon Rain Forest and the African Savannah .... Oh and of course - Little Green Street in Kentish Town.... What, why, when.... Eh? Valid questions indeed - and we can tell you all about this little cobbled street and why it needs saving. Even better - star of the stage and screen, Tom Conti lives on Little Green Street - and he tells our London Life Correspondent Ben Scotchbrook what he thinks.

To complete the eclectic mix that is today's show, we join the lovely Katie Derham on the South Bank for the London restaurant awards ... Plus Kid Rock joins us in the studio. As I've been finding out he's so much more than simply Pamela Anderson's ex.... In fact I've become hooked on listening to his music on You Tube ... It's really rather good, in a southern rock, blues, country kind of way. It's all a lot less angry and more sentimental than I imagined, plus he spent Christmas entertaining troops in Iraq. Just goes to show you can't judge a man by tabloid pictures alone - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Alastair IS here and he will join me in the studio - I think he's a little miffed that he wasn't invited along to Producer Faye's girls' night at the weekend. Maybe I'll make him a cup of tea ... Then order will be restored to the universe.

See you at six,

Salma and Al

Monday 9th June

Good Afternoon (and last time I was outside it was a VERY good afternoon) -

So, did we have a very good WEEKEND? Lovely sunshine. LOVELY sunshine. Just lifts the spirits, doesn't it? And the wine, if it's to hand.

 

Now, in today's programme - on such a glorious day - we have some very dark stories to tell. And first up is the police hunt for a rapist who's been attacking elderly women across South London for 18 years.

Today, detectives are releasing the first FULL artist's impression of the man, in the hope that they'll finally catch him.

 

Big court case at the Old Bailey today - the murder of Jill Dando. Barry George was found guilty of killing her 7 years ago but that conviction was overturned last year and now he faces a retrial.

 

And then - not a DARK story as such - but one that could make you think "they cannot be serious". A man gets on a bus, thinks he's successfully swiped his Oyster card... but hasn't.

What happens next:

1) the driver politely asks him to have another go?

2) he gets a fine for unwittingly, but definitely, breaking the rules?

3) he gets a criminal record for fare evasion, gets rather cross, and appeals - all at an enormous cost to the taxpayer - and over a 90p fare.

Go on. Have a guess.

 

In tonight's 'Inside Property' we'll be looking at the rental market and how it's not all doom and gloom if you're looking for tenants.

 

Would you ever give up your wedding dress? What if the marriage hadn't worked out? What if your ex-husband was rather famous? What if.. oh look, Jerry Hall is auctioning the dress she wore when she married Mick Jagger.

 

And then there's a story that will make you smile. A young girl, just fourteen month old, has been given the gift of hearing. She had been born completely deaf but, having been fitted with a very hi-tech device, she can hear her parents telling her how gorgeous she is. And she is.

 

So quite a varied menu. Your reservation is at SIX.

 

Ben & Salma

 

Friday 6th June

Good afternoon.

Our lovely producer Robyn is feeling virtuous, having had a salad for lunch. Salma and I are stuffing ourselves on chocolate so no virtue here.

Unexpectedly, Salma proffers page 7 of the Daily Mirror that features a friend of Wayne Rooney in a thong. From the a-moral Salma to virtuous Robyn, a harmonious "Ugghh!". Unity restored.

The school summer holidays are a few weeks away. Mock GCSE and A levels at one end of the spectrum and sack loads of doodles and odd bits of pottery to take home, at the other. September 07 seems a long way back, doesn't it? So you will be aghast, I am sure, to know that several borough bounders are yet to resolve their school places crisis. What will rock you even more will be the solutions some of them have come up with to solve this problem in the short term. Rather like putting a fourth child on the roof-rack because the first three are safely occupying the back seats, Kingston have put their overflow kids in temporary classrooms hardly giving the little darlings a fair and reasonable start to The Best Days of Their Lives. Send for Mr. Chips or even the Blessed Matthew Arnold I say. Phil dons the mortar board and flowing, faded cape and screams "Pay attention, at the back!".

The rising population in these areas may have been a demographic timebomb some time ago but you'd have thought they'd have had the wit to sort it out. Maybe the borough bounders were educated in portakabins which might explain their ineptitude.

A real ticking time-bomb is still making them sweat down in Bromley-by-Bow. I spoke to a wonderful young Major at lunchtime who was so cool he was the sort of man I wanted to be in charge of defusing this Nazi hang-over from the 39-45 effort to level our great city.

He and his brave battalion are "sweating" the explosives out as I write. Rachel stands in the Harris spot from last-night to bring us up to date on this deed of dare-doing.

Equally daring is our own answer to W.E.John's "Biggles", Fl.Lt Glen Goodman, AFC.

He takes to skies over Biggin Hill on the eve of their great weekend of aeronautical extravagance. Whether in a balsa-wood model or a slightly bigger than average paper-plane, I am not sure, but I am assured he flies. Per Adua Ad Astra, Glen... and good luck!

Chrissie, meantime, has gone to the races. Epsom Down to be precise as I am sure her forecast will be.

"They wait, he doesn't turn up, they leave" -Waiting for Godot.

"So that's what I get for helping a friend" -A Tale of Two Cities.

"Winston Smith doesn't like rats and Governments can't be trusted" -1984.

"No, I still don't get it".-Catch 22.

Encapsulating the thrust of great books into a line or two is a great dinner party game for over-educated anoraks but, in the hands of the man who gave you the Reduced Shakespeare Company -(("She's not dead, you fool!"-Romeo and Juliet))-it is an art form. Nick Wallis gets the full treatment and you can have Great Expectations for this Pickwick Paperful of enlightenment. Not a Bleak bit in the House!

What is bleak is the death of lovely Nathan Foster, the horse-mad youth-worker whose life was taken by a listless lout. The later gets his sentence today not that that will bring Nathan back but it may give his family some closure.

Super-hero of cinema reviews James King is back from the south of France and he reviews Super Hero and Waiting Room. So, if the weather falters, you can decide if a one of them, plus a bag of pop-corn and a coke, are the answers to your yearnings.

My yearning to present What Not to Miss remains painfully intact with no respite or relief. She slipped away as I wrote the bit about the time-bomb. She was there. I glanced down and then up. She was gone.

My point about our mutual lack of virtue needs correcting slightly - she is devoid of all virtue, morality, decency, kindness and doesn't even know how to spell equity.

Hurrumph. I'll do my bits and she'll do the rest, including WNTM. I think she needs to see a consultant. This is deep rooted.

See you at 6

Alastair and ....the name is on the tip of my tongue but why should I share? Oh make me virtuous, said St Augustine, but tomorrow.

Yes, it is Salma.

Who else?

 

 

Thursday 5th June

Good afternoon.

Grief is a common human emotion but is dealt with in different ways in different cultures. Many of us, from a traditional Anglo-Saxon heritage adopt the stiff-upper lip approach - we grit our teeth, swallow hard and only allow watery eyes to be our concession to a deep inner sadness.

This morning, a beautiful Eritrean woman shook with grief and wept openly as a solicitor read a moving statement on her behalf, about the knife-killing of her daughter. It was made all the more powerful because of the properly "matter-of-fact" way in which the lawyer read it. I did the lip-biting bit when I heard it, but insist on inviting you to share in Arsema's mother's grief. Passion is so much more moving than protest.

Pause, Breath, Proceed.

Now, despite the protestations of Lennon and McCartney, Blackburn is lucky compared with London. "4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire", the Fab 4 warbled on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. But as many as 600 of our streets are currently being dug up by Thames Water and, if our own WC1 part of London is anything to go by , you can add a "0" to Blackburn's 4,000 if you want a guesstimate of London's hole-count. So traffic is gridlocked, local shopkeepers are up in arms at the disruption, and only car repair shops are happy, dealing with damaged suspensions and supplying replacement tyres.

But this is a rubix cube of a public policy challenge: valuable water is being wasted on a Biblical scale because, under public ownership, investment in a Victorian network ground to a halt in the Edwardian and Georgian eras, resulting in a complete mess in the Elizabethan era. Privatisation brought proper businessmen and women into the frame who took fat profits and, where the taps were still working, washed their hands of the responsibility to invest. Then OFWAT told them to sort themselves out or be flushed down the pan of corporate history. And today Thames Water reported bumper profits after bumper price rises.

So, here we are: they are doing what they have been told to and it is causing chaos. They are your streets and your roads; it is, for most of you, your water company and your water rates. You want your thirst quenched, your body cleaned and your geraniums blossoming, but you also want to be able to get to work and pay a fair price for water. Can it be done? Ben and Damien will turn dry statistics into human stories and we'll ask the man from Thames Water if he has answers, or wants to take a pistol and a bottle of scotch into a dark room.

Or he may chose to sit on the 2nd World War bomb in Bromley-by-Bow which, every now and then, starts ticking. The powers that be are confident it won't become Bromley by Boom but it is very exciting. Harris - and I chose not to make a joke about his 2nd WW namesake who ran the Lancaster squadrons - is "chocks away" but from a safe distance.

Distancing themselves from responsibility, we suspect, is the local authority who have just decided a man who has suffered with a weird form of skin cancer for years and years, and has had eleven hours care a day, now only needs half that amount. He is no fitter and his consultant thinks he still needs the same level of care. The social services say it has nothing to do with cost-cutting so it must be something else: answers on a postcard to Nick who has already ruled out voodoo, entropy, osmosis and sun-spots.

Our final offering is wonderful. Actually, Stevie Wonder-ful. The master song-smith is in town to promote his European tour and he tells you, via Nick Wallis, all about it. Chrissie celebrates by learning to tango on London Bridge and the papers will be used, after we have read the front pages to you, to wrap round yet more leaking pipes.

It is a tough old world out there. Dear Mr. Wonder, Can you please find me a Place in The Sun?

Alastair & Nina

Weds June 4th

Good afternoon.

 

Our family doctor is called Doctor Sue. Her family name is Happell and her now retired father was Dr. John - not the rock singer but a fully qualified medic. He also looked after my family, over the years. I am sure many of you have a similar relationship with the man or woman to whom you go with that nagging back-ache or something much more serious. My Doctor operates from a converted house; there is always a queue; and most of the receptionists follow that age-old tradition or being somewhere between down-right rude and just a bit rude. If we need surgery or specialisms we have to go to our local hospital.

Would it be better, we ask tonight, if GP surgeries like that were replaced with Polyclinics? They are larger, purpose-built centres that cope with many (that's where the 'poly' bit comes from, as I am sure Boris would be keen to point out to you) ailments and even do minor operations, offer psychiatric care and all sorts of other things. Marcus has been investigating and, having found it has nothing to do with poorly parakeets, has found some intriguing arguments for and against. We'll also be talking to Dr Tom who is running the consultation across London.

 

A cross London is what I fully anticipate when it hears our report on a woman's entirely legal efforts to have herself reinstated as a social worker, despite having been dismissed in the wake of the Victoria Climbie case. However, Ronke will lay the facts before you and let you decide. I may be wrong. I hope I am.

 

I hope Kensington & Chelsea know what they are doing. Many cyclists are, to me, little better than kamikazies in trouser-clips; a squadron of dive-bombers in day-glow helmets; maniacs in face-masks. Many ignore the rules of the road, traffic signals and no-entry signs. In Ken' and Chelsea, the powers that be have decided to take prompt and tough action - they are going to allow, endorse and even sanction the rape and molestation of our one-way rules by cyclists. It is an experiment but they said the same about Frankenstein and the Manhattan Project.  Ken & Chelsea is a Tory Borough and the Tory leader, DC, does it too.  I fear for our safety. Lewis Vaughan Jones risks life and limb for you at 6.

 

It wasn't the same lot of borough bounders but it might have been - they took £160 quid from a disabled man to help him with his parking-bay. It turns out to have been about as straight forward and upfront as pyramid

selling or Enron book keeping. Sangeeta gives you the numbing punchline.

 

Finally, following this theme of "It's dangerous out there", a young, multi-millionaire has blown not a small slice of his stash on swish and speedy cars. He's got a Roller, a Bentley... but not a driving licence. He is seeking to rectify that as I write. I'd go everywhere by Tube today, if i were you.

 

See you at 6 if any of us survive this madness. And were you to survive but get wounded, where would you go? It doesn't take a polymath to figure out that the answer may lie at the top of this blog and at the top of our topical programme tonight.

 

As I sip tea from my polymer cup, I wish you well and really do hope to see you at 6.

 

Alastair & Salma

 

PS - I banged on at length yesterday about the merits of the musical "Cabaret" only to realise, as the piece went out, that Suzanne Shaw was debuting in "Chicago". I think, when that run is over, she should have a stab at Sally Bowles' Berlin bio-pic. I know she'd love it and I'd feel less of a fool.

 

Tomorrow belongs to the apologist.

 

 

Tues 3rd June

Good evening.

The unimaginable horror of a child being brutally stabbed to death runs the risk of becoming common place in this great city of ours, despite the best efforts of Boris and the strictures of Sir Ian Blair. Sir Ian told us just last week that "conversations" needed to be held between parents and children. But what about "conversations" between parents and the Police? What if parents tell the police their daughter has been the victim of an assault and that they are worried for her safety, due to the unsolicited attentions of a man? Arsema Dawit was brutally stabbed yesterday afternoon but friends of her family have told us her parents had just such a "conversation" with the Police back in April. Ronke continues her investigations and we will be talking to the man from the Suzie Lamplugh Foundation, seeking some general advice and guidance for those of you who fear your kids might be the victim of a stalker.

Many businesses in the Lea Valley, and the East End generally, feel they have been "stalked" by the LDA and the Boys from the London Olympic Games for some little time, too. In a nice turn of phrase, one of them says that what the LDA has done is "little short of a Mugabe land-grab!"

"E' Ba' Gum!", you might say, should you hail from oop North; but "E' Ba' Gum" is Mugabe.... backwards, where-ever you hail from; so I think it is relevant to us all.

Harris dons his white hunter outfit and stalks the veldt that is the East End, tracking answers.

Tracking answers and rather valuable pieces of jewelry is the Met's serious theft mob, following a swoop on Cartiers in Sloane Street. One of their loveliest pieces is the Santos Tank watch, renowned for keeping out water at any depth. Alas, Cartier's own security couldn't keep the lads in eye-masks and stripped jumpers at bay and their swag-bags are bulging as I write. Ben has borrowed a blood-hound and a deer-stalker to help in the hunt.

Equally prized, and similar in monetary value, is the means to enjoy Eric Clapton perform or shed a tear at the annual service of Rememberance. Named after Queen Victoria's husband and father to her veritable tribe of princes and princesses, the Albert Hall was funded by the sale of boxes, according to The Big Boss.

I imagine it is a bit like buying a flat "off-plan" but you don't get Clapton and the British Legion thrown in. But the annual recurring costs make the whole thing a bit like timeshare - Phil has the eye-watering numbers for you.

More than eyes have been watering in Reading and Wokingham - there's been flooding and Glen, shortly to set off as our reporter, is still looking for a pair of wellies that will fit. I have a Paddington Bear wearing blue ones at home but he might take my kind offer a-miss so I'll keep mum.

That I cannot do about Ms Suzanne Shaw who is about to swop her ice-skates and pop-star's party frock for the altogether raunchier kit required of her for her role in "Cabaret". One of the finest musicals ever penned, it is a festering story of the rise of Nazism, a flippant celebration of grubby Berlin night-life and the tale of a show-girl phenomena called Sally Bowes who said, of her best friend, " I woudn't say that she's a blushing flower; as a matter of fact, she rented by the hour!".

Love it and still play it frequently and also shiver at the Hitler Youth "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" track.

Anyway, Lucy bids you welkommen, bien venu and welcome to her report at 6. I can't wait but, like you, must.

Papers and weather (if you live in Reading or Wokingham, look away now) will also be there,

as will

Alastair and Katie

 

Monday 2nd June

Good afternoon.

Dutch trikes. The heritage of Basildon. And a cacophony of anti-Boris fervour that went on and on and on - three of the oddities that we have for your enlightenment, entertainment and edification tonight.

But a dark moment from our meeting that I have to get out of the way first.

Faye, looking quite stunning in an elegant "little black dress", as I think such a classic frock is known, said: "I have seen a couple of very peculiar films this morning". What led her to this troubling conclusion? She was doing it for work, I have to add, but the shock was palpable. Is she in mourning for Yves St. Laurent? (The dress is certainly appropriate). Or is there some darker motivation? Damien, with what are called the BOBs, will explain and you will be glued, if not a little disturbed. We will ask for your judgment.

The stewards of public money must make constant judgments: the Lottery Fund and Primary Care Trusts are up there with those facing some of the toughest decisions. So which of the following two do you think got the thumbs up and which, like a Christian in the Coliseum, was thrown to the lions: a heritage tour of Basildon or a new, Stephen Hawking-esque voice box for a woman student with a severe case of cerebral palsy? Alas, you can't vote because I feel confident you'd come up with a more sensible outcome. Marcus and Phil battle it out with their reports on the sublime and the ridiculous. Be informed and irritated at 6.

Ant and Dec informed you who you had voted for at the end of Britain's Got Talent on Saturday night. Were you, like me, irritated that the young girl with the "world-class voice", to quote Simon Cowell, didn't make it to the final three? As Churchill said, democracy is the least worst option for deciding things and I guess we must grin and bear it. George, the winner, is a delight and I am sure the Prince of Wales will delight in his rendition of Singing In The Rain - he might even get his Church's brogues splashed in the process. We give you a reprise and meet several of the also-rans in the company of one of our real winners, Miss Lucy Cotter. The Americans say that the silver medal goes to "the best loser". Harsh but true. These talent contests are a vicious thing and I am surprised the dog didn't win simply from a viewers' health and safety point of view.

Jon Gilbert meets some women who have invested in Dutch trikes. A gardening implement? A rare tulip? A strange continental perversion? You'll have to watch to find out and the children are quite safe. So long as they are strapped in...

Mourinho, The Special One, and Gazza, the Once Special One, are both in the news: if you're interested you'll be interested; if not, it doesn't take too long.

Finally, had Boris been on the tube late on Saturday, no amount of hanging from the straps would have saved him from the aural onslaught heaped upon him by the badly behaved boozers marking the end of their reign of terror. Bob Crow says "I told you so". Boris is, unlike the drunk revellers, remaining mum. It was rather nasty and Bob has the evidence. Egg on Boris's face? Has the tide of unquestioning warmth toward the new mayor turned? Harris dons his striped costume and bathes in the dangerous waters of political promise meets 30-degree-proof reality.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Katie.

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Friday 30th May

Dear All,

We-hope-you-are-well-and-looking-forward to... stuff this. IT'S FRIDAY!

We've got one of the hottest acts on the music scene tonight... and a former world champion boxer... and a gorilla. You won't even get that on 'Britain's Got Talent'. Except perhaps on the judges' panel.

The former world champion comes in the form of Mike Tyson. Now, if this was a pantomime (oh no, it isn't) there'd be boos and hisses at this point. Mike Tyson, the man who bit off more than he could chew.. from someone's ear. And he was convicted of rape.

So, is this the sort of man you'd pay lots of money to hear giving a public talk? Is this the sort of man who should be giving talks for cash anyway? Lots of people have handed over their money for an 'Evening with Mike Tyson' in Loughton tonight. Lots of other people aren't happy about it. But before you start jumping up and down - save it, and send us an email later.

Now, what you doin' tonight? Fancy going to a party? It's 'bring a bottle'. And it's underground. On the tube actually. You may well have seen adverts on the internet. Some would say the parties planned for the Circle Line this weekend are a suitable send-off for 'boozing on the tube' - ahead of the ban, coming into force on Sunday. Transport for London's not impressed though. Neither are the unions.

What you mustn't do is go to one of these parties (any party actually), drink yourself silly, then head home to the internet and... start looking for a date. Lord KNOWS who you might end up with. I mean - there are some real gorillas out there. Actually, there's one fewer now after a big beefy male called Damisi (formerly of Paignton Zoo) found his true love at Chessington Zoo. What I want to know is what he put down on his profile.. Favourite Film? 'Planet of the Apes', one imagines. No - 'Gorillas in the Mist'.

Beth Rowley may well have a new favourite film - the one she's just contributed a song to - 'The Edge of Love'. It stars Sienna Miller and Keira Knightly. Beth's having a rare old busy time at the moment. Debut album charting at No6 with a UK tour coming up to boot. Have you heard her voice? Personally, I think it's simply fabulous. You make your mind up for yourselves - we'll play a bit and chat to Beth later.

And Mr King will tell us what he thinks of 'Sex and the City' on the big screen. Once again, Salma's terribly excited. (If you're interested, she gave Indiana's 4th outing a 'thumbs up'). Still it's up to you. Take it. Leave it. I know what I'll do, thanks.

With more news, What Not to Miss and the weather... all together now...

IT'S FRIDAY.

See you at SIX.

Ben & Salma

 

 

 

 

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 29th May

Hello, Hello, and, once again, I say... Hello.

We're busy here this afternoon, so you'll forgive me if I don't flit off on some flight of fancy today but stick to a straightforward rundown of why we're busy here this afternoon...

Knives. London knows what a scourge they've become on our streets. We see and hear about the repercussions on an appallingly regular basis. To be fair, the Met takes is seriously too but when the top cop, Sir Ian Blair, stood up today and effectively said "The Met's now stepping things up a gear", more than one person was left saying "NOW you're stepping things up a gear..?"

Anyway, with more stopping and searching announced recently, there's NOW also a video showing the reconstruction of a stabbing and posters showing some real life injuries inflicted with knives. Posters? Are they really the answer? Well, we'll be asking the experts tonight. A panel of 15 year old Londoners will tell us if any of the above will have a positive effect.

We'll also be talking to someone who's seen knife crime up close. He's Duwayne Brooks. He was Stephen Lawrence's mate and he was there when Stephen was stabbed. It's his first TV interview in 10 years. We'll ask what he thinks. And then we'll ask you what you think.

Next up: the bridge collapse involving rail lines in the East End. It happened yesterday evening but the after-effects went on until lunchtime today. You'll know what we mean if your commute normally involves Liverpool Street station. Some people had a hideous time getting home last night. Others - a hideous time getting into work today. And they're paying for it.

We'll also tell you what a certain lady called Naomi (as in Campbell) was told at Heathrow police station today - not good news.

And there's some extraordinary footage of a bit of a ride at Thorpe Park... flying off the ride at Thorpe Park.

 

 

Plus quiet please, show some respect. There's a fascinating new exhibition opening at Goldsmiths in the City - silver and gold ware from churches around the country, pulled together for the first time. There are some great stories to some of the pieces, and we'll hear what the Archbishop of Canterbury thinks about it all.

 

And then there are The Osmonds. All of them.

That's a packed show, if ever you saw one.

And you'll see it at SIX.

Ben & Katie

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 28th May

Afternoon all,

Why, oh why, oh WHY would anyone want to keep a snake as a pet? Not just ANY snake, mind. A poisonous snake... a DEADLY poisonous snake. Now, I'm a dog man, me. But I accept not everyone likes dogs. In the same vein, I'm not a huge fan of stinky, pointless, cats. But I'm open-minded enough to accept that some people think they make perfect furry friends (ie our programme editor).

But when it comes to something that would quite happily kill you - and not feel remotely sorry afterwards... What's the attraction?

Well, we'll be asking someone live on the programme. I say 'live'. He nearly wasn't - thanks to a Common Death Adder. I mean, even the name says 'Don't expect any cuddles from me'. Apparently, if a cuddly snake you're after, you want a python. But even then...

So keeping poisonous snakes - that to me, is dangerous. What some people might think is not dangerous (although we, as unbiased journalists couldn't possibly comment) is sitting as a passenger on a stationery bus while someone bounces a somersault on the front of it. No, I haven't been at the gin. A group of acrobats really did do some routines down at Waterloo, leaping about on buses and bus-stops. And when Transport for London found out... gosh, they were cross. And they issued a statement saying how dangerous it could be for bus passengers. You should see the pictures. And you will, if you watch at SIX.

 

 

Anyway, that's not where we start the programme.

 

The programme kicks off at the Old Bailey, because the husband of Nisha Patel Nasri was today found guilty of her murder. She was the special constable stabbed outside their home in Wembley last year. He was the chap who appeared on our TV's a few days later begging for help in catching the killer. As they say, be careful what you wish for... Not a nice man - it turns out he'd been sleeping with prostitutes, was having an affair and needed to cash in his wife's life policy to pay off his debts. That's why he hired two hitmen.

What else, what else... Ah yes, FRAUD. In fact, we'll be telling you not which borough has the most fraud in Britain, but the actual street. Here's a clue for now - it's in Tooting. Plus we'll have a live demonstration in the studio of a simple thing we can all do, that will help keep our personal details safe.

We'll also report on the latest worries over 2012 funding... as well as the threat to theatre-types who insist on misrepresenting critics' quotations in a bid to persuade punters to buy their tickets.

So, lots to see.

We'll see YOU at SIX.

Ben & Romilly

 

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 27th May

Good afternoon.

 

I fear I have to write cautiously and speak quietly: walls have ears and my words may be gathered up and used by a Foreign Power. In "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy", the John Le Carre masterpiece, the most unlikely suspect turned out to be the "sleeper", the "mole" - the senior figure in British Intelligence who was, in fact, a Russian spy. I say all of this, perhaps too openly, because I have not seen Katie since her undoubted triumph at the Man U-Chelsea game in Moscow. I fear she has done a Philby, Burgess or MacLean and started to bat for the other side.

 

Whilst we investigate this, I am delighted to say Romilly has stepped into the breach. There I go already - "stepped" - a reference to the sweeping lowlands of central Russia or a mode of movement? One cannot be too careful.

No amount of care or intelligence-gathering seems to be able to curb the exponential growth in murderous youth crime. Robert Knox could have made the transition from promising child actor to thespian greatness, like so many before him. But a "knife in the hand" put an end to that. We talk to his granny who utters the cliche "society is to blame". But Sir Ian Blair, of the Met, agrees, along with countless others. "Cliche" is a French word from the printing trade which means a set of letters or words in constant use - they make up a block and are used regularly, thus avoiding having to assemble the same, and predictable, thing - time and time again.

Is youth violence the same? Can no-one smash the "cliche" ? We listen to granny and ask Camila Batmanghelijdh what she thinks.

 

We've asked her to come early incase the fuel protest is continuing. Harris says it "ran of gas" quite early on: a wordsmith and a man of sound judgment is our Harris. The Welsh lorry drivers said they weren't coming to London for the demo' because they can't afford the fuel. I think it is because they couldn't find the way.

 

Joan Bakewell couldn't find the way to make the parking machines in Westminster work and ended up in all sorts of trouble. Phil went to meet her only to bump into another woman who, whilst not the Thinking Man's Crumpet, brought her own unique persona to the telling of this significant tale.

 

Another significant tale centres on when you believe the Doctors and when you don't. From being told their unborn child faced such an awful life, it might be best to terminate it - (it is what medics call abortion) - to a bouncing six month old is quite a fraught journey. Ronke guides you through it.

 

Leah is four and she guided the Fire Brigade to her neighbour's home in Essex when she heard the fire alarm sounding. They all say she is very clever and possessed of a great presence of mind. Ben also meets Leah and her folks, lucky man.

Less lucky is Robin who we wanted to put in a boat for his forecast but there's been a row - that is an "argument" rather than "the verb: to propel a boat through the water by pulling on oars". Anyway, he'll give you his forecast but has left his Sou'wester in the props cupboard.

 

Lucy has found some girls scouting. Roms and I both thought that girls who "scout" are called 'guides' or 'brownies', depending on their age. We are wrong and will be intrigued to discover why as we dib dib dib our way through this arm full of merit badges we call a running order.

 

See you at 6.

 

Alastair and Romilly

 

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Friday May 23rd

Hello, Hello and welcome to F-F-F-FRIDAY.

Now, someone on the team is very, VERY excited today... because a certain film has opened in London's cinemas today. Yes, the man in the hat, the man wearing the leather jacket, the man with the whip... ALL of them are back in - "Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Zimmer Frame".

When I say excited - this person has a seat booked in at the Odeon Leicester Square this very evening. When I say excited - this person used to act out scenes from the previous Indy adventures. So, this person s definitely excited. So, we'll get James King in to tell us whether Harrison Ford still cuts it, or whether he needs nursey to help out at meal times.

Our top story tonight is a sad one. A six year old girl, Elisabeth, died in the rented family home because the landlord hadn't serviced the boiler properly. She died of carbon monoxide poisoning. What a dreadful, dreadful waste of life. And the price paid by the landlord - a £20,000 fine. Enough? Too much? Should have gone to jail? We'll be asking for your views later.

Also on the programme, we'll be talking to star of the stand-up circuit, star of the radio and star of the TV panel show - Phill Jupitus. About why he's chancing his arm as a star of the West End stage.

Now...

Q: What do you call a man with two jobs?

A: Boris Johnson.

Q: Which jobs?

A: Mayor of London (you had heard, hadn't you?) and MP for Henley.

Q: When's he giving the MP bit up?

A: Sooner, it would seem, than originally thought.

Q: How... okay, let's leave that there until 6 o'clock, shall we?

A: Yes.

You won't want to miss our live link up with New York... via an en-OR-mous telescope, or to give it its proper name, 'telectroscope'. You may have seen it down on the South Bank. It is HUGE and our (not-so-huge) Glen Goodman will be looking down the barrel at the Brooklyn Bridge. Now, as I write this, there's a big chat going on about how it's going to work, because Glen's going to be having a transatlantic chat with his NY oppo called Monica Morales. She's a reporter with the NBC affiliate in the Big Apple. It sounds like a great idea, doesn't it. Cross your fingers, my friends. Glen will be.

Oh, and Robin will be with some jumping dogs.

Who needs Indiana Jones...?

Ben & Salma

 

 

 

 

 

 

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Thursday 22nd May

Good Afternoon.

"Someone said 'football is more important than life and death to you' and I said 'Listen, it's more important than that'."

So said the late, great, Bill Shankly. What, though, he'd have made of the scenes around Stamford Bridge last night is anyone's guess. So-called fans throwing bottles and bins at the police. Just because their football team lost. And yes, we all know how passionate true supporters can be about their team. When it brings strangers together, it's to be admired. When it drives people to the lawless behaviour exhibited on the streets of London last night... well, you can finish that sentence. To help you choose your words, you can see the evidence at SIX.

It's a shame too that the actions of a few thugs overshadowed the behaviour of thousands of others, and the game itself. It was a cracking game, wasn't it? I was working here on our late (very late) news last night, but I'm told that with every twist, turn, hit and miss there were 'ooh's and 'ah's ringing out across the capital. And just think, we've still got all the England games to look forward to in Eur...oh, no we haven't.

Now, there is other news tonight. We've a young film star, the number one pop group and a walk in the trees.

And there're more serious stories too.

Do you remember the story of the Polish nurse who had just clocked off - after looking after residents in an old people's home - and then she got shot. Dead. Caught in the cross-fire as two men shot it out in New Cross. Well, one of those men was found guilty of Magda Pewska's murder today. He may not have fired the bullet that killed her, but in the court's eyes he was guilty as if he did.

And there's another shocking story - 200 women who had a caesarean section at hospitals in Basildon and Southend have been told they now need to undergo a test. For HIV. It seems a health worker has the virus and, while it's very unlikely that any of the Mums have been infected... they have to be checked.

Now, the film star I mentioned is one of the up and coming actors in the Narnia series. Personally, I loved 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. So, I'm rather excited about seeing the next instalment - 'Prince Caspian'. We'll show you a clip and speak to young Skandar Keynes this evening.

Meanwhile Lucy has been speaking to the 'Ting Tings' about being the latest thing-things.

And then there's a walk in the trees which... well we can't give the whole game away, can we?

See you at SIX.

Ben & Romilly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 21st May

Здравствуйте.... from Katie... and a very good afternoon from me!

I have to tell you I feared for the travel plans of "Lara", as I insist upon calling her for the next few hours. From ITN, last night, to the Asian Women awards and then home. Then from home to Paddington, on to Heathrow and finally to Moscow: it was an itinerary that made Napoleon's doomed march on the Russian capital in 1812 look like a stroll in the park.

Anyway, in the fine company of Marcus, a life-long Gooner, she will be presenting our coverage of the Great Game. Clearly more of a lacrosse and polo girl, "Lara" has been revising like she hasn't revised since Cambridge - clever, beautiful and in Moscow? How cruel life can be to the rest of us mere mortals.

Rich in drama and emotion, our coverage features the great West Hammer Frank Lampard Snr, there to support his brilliant son as they both still wrestle with the sadness of losing Pat, a loyal and loving wife and mum.

Graeme Le Saux, one of the brighter and more articulate booters of the ball, will be waxing eloquent about 4-1-4 formations, lob balls and passing patterns. He played for Chelsea and England, I am told, though I remember his twilight years in Southampton and the fact that he is a Channel Islander. But he is bright and handsome so "Lara" will be happy.

Ronaldo is The One To Watch, it seems. This may be a footy observation or a warning to the young belles of Mockba but I am sure Marcus will explain.

Our build-up also features the Rolling Stones performing Jumping Jack Flash which Faye, in elegant cream and grey today told me I'd like that. She does know me, doesn't she? We've sent "Lara" out to buy a copy of the Moscow Times to see what their front page is dealing with. I hope she doesn't, like the original "Lara", disappear for several decades in the cold political frost of a revolution - only for me to die, from a heart attack, running alongside a tram, whispering "Lara", "Lara", finally slumping to my untimely death in the post-revolutionary snow. We'll see.

Here, we have wonderful pictures and the most moving of tributes to Emily Diamond, whose tragic death haunted us all yesterday. The random nature of her demise seems to me to have been made even more cruel, the more we find out about the lovely young woman who was so full of promise, but who is no more.

Boris was always full of promise and, like Max Wall blended with Tommy Cooper with just a soupcon of Eddie Izzard, took Mayor's Questions today for the first time. Harris holds his sides but points out the deceptively important bits which may continue to impress you.

Then, to strains of a balalaika and the pounding of Czarist cavalry hooves, we will canter back to Moscow for a final thought from "Lara".

Most of you probably back the Blues but we will not ignore the fact that many of you back the Reds. That is true in Hong Kong, Adelaide, Los Angeles and Monte Video but I just felt the need to reassure you that "Lara" and I will be entirely impartial. Marcus thinks the whole thing's a fix and it should be Arsenal out there. Ken says West Ham "woz robbed.." This could be endless so I'll end it and see you at 6.

 

Alastair