London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 20th February

Hello to you...

 

'The world's favourite airline' - that's what they used to call themselves... until someone pointed out that they weren't. And let's face it, events down at Heathrow yesterday and today will have done little to boost British Airways in the popularity stakes. Thousands of passengers given the option at the airport - "You can stay here WITH your luggage, or you can fly WITHOUT it." Not much of a choice for people who've paid hundreds of hard earned pounds and are all geared up for their hols, is it?

Now the thing is - it doesn't appear be BA's fault, but BAA's fault. That's the British Airport Authority. In fact BA are threatening to sue BAA  (could be confusing in court). Anyway BAA's - not BA's - 'all-singing, all-dancing' baggage-handling system appeared to have, er, forgotten the music. It went into meltdown... Passengers are still dealing with the 'knock-ons' and we'll have the latest on those.

 

How's this for today's nomination for a 'Victor Meldrew' award? Over one hundred thousand pounds is spent installing a CCTV surveillance system at a train station... but then no one connects it. There are disagreements. No one connects it. Arguments. No one connects it. Two women are then sexually assaulted at this station but still no one connects it. "I don't believe it." It's true.

 

Also sadly true is the fact that another young Londoner has died - it would seem at this stage - because of gang warfare.  Yesterday afternoon - in broad daylight this is - a 16 year old was stabbed to death. A 'good Samaritan' tried to save his life and we'll be hearing from him this evening. We'll then hear from a former gang-member who today became Crimestoppers' first Community Champion. How does HE think we could stop this violence?

 

Change of gear... and onto a bit of a spangle and glitterdust. It's the Brits tonight, presented by Mr and Mrs Osborne - AKA Ozzie and Sharon. Adele, Kate Nash, Leona Lewis, Take That and the Arctic Monkeys are all up for awards. Sir Paul Macca's going to be getting a lifelong pat on the back (makes a change from arguing over who'll get the fondue set) and... and... Lucy Cotter will be there at Earl's Court to whet your appetite. It's live on ITV1 you see.

 

So - there's a real range of real news for you.

 

We reckon you should join us at SIX.

 

Ben & Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 19th February

Afternoon everyone,

Just been chatting with one of our highly esteemed colleagues on the ITV National news team - winner of numerous awards who's worked on many of the biggest stories that have changed our world, both in Britain and abroad. Well, he's shaved his moustache off. Had it there, nestling on his top lip, for over 30 years and he's just got rid. All sorts of reasons apparently - one of which was his beloved asking him to lose it. Would you believe then that for 15 minutes afterwards - chatting etc round the family home - she didn't even notice? Not that we're pointing any fingers - we all do it - look at things without really seeing them. Think I might grow a little beard for this evening's programme and see if the editor notices.

No doubt she'll be too wrapped up in our programme which, tonight, my friends is full to bursting.

You know how we all bang on about 'the youth of today' and how they're drinking too much. Well, tonight we have some pictures to prove it, with the results of a survey which suggest our pictures aren't a one-off - in London at least. And I've been talking to one of THE experts who can warn some of our younger viewers about what could be happening to their livers.

We'll also have another, very different, warning for you. Your local post office may be about to close. The bosses have announced that one in five in the London area is going to shut. So, that'll be convenient when you want to renew your car-tax then...  As well as our report, there'll be a full list of those 'in danger' on www.itvlocal.com/london.

And we've another story to get your blood boiling. Cyclists -  always going through red lights aren't they? Straight across zebra crossings. Mounting pavements.
Well, now some of our two-wheeled warriors have the video evidence which shows THEY'RE not always treated with the greatest care and attention on the roads either.

After all that, Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman should also be joining us live from Leicester Square and Ned Boulting will be pitch side in Athens ahead of Chelsea's Champions' League.

So...

See you at six.

Ben and Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight Monday 18th February

Good afternoon.
I must start by apologising for a break in service at the end of last week. It was an electronic failure rather than human oversight: whether, like 'El Dorado', the programme was cancelled or,  like Beatrix Potter, the mouse got above itself, I do not know. But I am sorry and I promise normal service will now resume. But I could be lying. You cannot see my eyes nor can you hear my voice, both reliable indicators of veracity. But in Harrow, were you lying, not about an email but about your right to claim benefits, you might be caught out. Now they can not only hear your voice on the 'phone, they can also, with your, permission, run it through a lie-detector. As Delicious Dan the Director observed,"It's an invasion of privacy. If you refuse, you're banged to rights!". He is turning into the Poirot of the technical team, you know. Phil, who, like George Washington would admit to the smallest of failures in the name of honesty, is our man balancing the rights and wrongs of this one.

 
Ken has been balancing the rights and wrongs of the 3rd runway at Heathrow and went to the village of Sipson which will cease to exist if the 3rd runway gets the go ahead. He tipped his tiny carbon toe print in the water of electoral controversy to tell the good people he doesn't think it should go ahead. Piers is the man with the orange ping-pong bats, bringing the jumbo jet of London politics safely to his docking gate.

Dramatically arriving by air from Australia, a witness who has fascinating things to tell the murder trial of Sally Ann Bowman's alleged killer. Ronke treads carefully through the legal minefield and will you be amazed.
Equally amazed, if not even more amazed, the man in row 12 at the English National Opera who, on seeing the lead tenor go sick thought  "I can do that". It is like a cultural version of Roy of The Rovers as a promising lad is plucked from the stands to score the winning goal in the FA Cup Final. Metronome to the ready and baton in hand, Damien leads you to a crescendo of amazement.

Amazed you will also be as G4 becomes G1. Jasmine meets another terrific singer who has decided not to step into great shoes but to do his own thing.
Doing her own thing, because it is Monday, is Louisa. London property prices, volatility and what you can and can't believe in the papers.

London's front pages, most of which you can believe, and Chrissie's weather which, of course, you can always believe, round it all off.
Unless, of course, I am lying again. There has been an odd beeping sound during most of this last few minutes and my polygraph has been doing it's Zorro thing. And me, a good law abiding citizen or, at least, I thought I was.

We hope you'll be there when we have finished our breathing exercises, warmed up our vocal chords, and begin our own operetta which is London Tonight, at 6.

Alastair, the Wagner man and Nina, the Puccini belle.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 13th February

Good afternoon.

Joe Stalin and Mikhail Gorbachev both came from Georgia - not the US back-water, east of Alabama and north of Florida, but the former grain basket of the old Soviet Union. Odd place, Georgia, with dodgy and dangerous politics. So if you've made a bob or two (billions, in truth!) and have unsuccessfully run in an election against the ruling President, you'd probably feel considerably more secure in leafy Leatherhead. That is what Badri Patarkatsishvili thought too, until late last night when he died. Heart attack? Poison? The cops won't know until tomorrow but they are treating it as a suspicious death. So are we, given his friendship with Russian oligarch and fellow billionaire Boris Berezovsky - he was convinced some of the shadowy brigade were running for him.
Ben plays John Le Carre to our Cagney and Lacey.

Lacy curtains were ruffled when Mr Plod came a-calling at a big house in Willesden this morning. It was their JCB versus the baddy's Ferrari. Plod couldn't even find a door such was the security. So what were they looking for, what did they find, and what would it have fetched on the street? Jaw dropping stuff with Sangeeta sounding her sirens and flashing her blues and twos.

I wonder what the post code on that street in Willesden was? If Boris becomes Mayor we can all know without having to trouble Posty. What is more, we'd know if it had "form" - like a criminal record, if a street can have such a thing. Would you want to live there? Would you buy there? Would you want to move? How grateful to Boris would you be? Or not? Harris sends the answers to you, First Class post, at 6.

The Editor in Chief has just pledged to solve the lack of Snicker bars in the canteen. Nina popped down to get the tea as we missed the trolley because we were planning the above mentioned lot with the delicious Faye -(turtle neck grey pencil dress plus ferocious, pointy-toed boots today) and The Big Boss. Ed in Chief said he would "leave no Snicker bar unturned" in his efforts to solve my problem. But if there are no snicker bars, he can't turn or unturn them, can he? Am I led by lions or donkeys?

Out-smarting the donkeys at London Zoo, a lovely new baby monkey called "Vale" - pronounced Varlay not Vale, as in drawing one over things.

Jodie Kidd draws back the veil on London fashion week and we all scream "Galliano"  at how well some of the fashion students from London are doing in the big, bad, beautiful world of haute couture.

A male master of all that is Robin who, dapper as a row of Saville Row suits, will tonight sip champagne and then give a weather forecast. Depending on the size of the glass it could be accurate or you could be in Bali for all you'd know! Ken got cross at question time and these two observations are in no way connected...

Nor are the front pages of the London papers though they sometimes have, in direct contradiction of the edicts of capitalist competition, the same lead story. It is as bad as the Old Soviet Union. Damn.

 

Now I'll have to watch my back all the way home.

Alastair & Nina.

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 12th February

Good afternoon.

I read in a magazine, last night, that a classic Ferrari went at auction recently to a Londoner for over £5 million. My ten year old son believes his life would be complete and his earthly calling met if, one day, he owned a Bugatti Veron - cost c.£1 million. And, first thing this morning, one of my favourite bosses told me he was leaving his modest family car at the railway station in future, and coming into work on the train because the congestion charge plus parking was costing about £200 a month. So, what Ken has done, so far, to the costs of motoring in and around the capital is changing some people's habits whilst leaving others with their exhaust-pipe dreams in tact.
We have, today, been wrestling with Ken's latest foray into our highway habits: a £25 congestion charge for band G cars - they range from old polluters, via big old conventional people-carriers, to his arch-enemy - the diesel guzzling, 4X4 Chelsea tractor. At the same time, 68 types of car will now go free. So, is it a congestion charge or a carbon foot-print imposte? And, for every big old guzzler that is forced into the great parking lot in the sky, how many funny little, tree-hugger-mobiles will slip onto the roads in their place? Is more better? Does size matter? Is it a coincidence that he promised £400 million to help cyclists, just yesterday? We will ask him some of these things live in the studio tonight.

We won't, tonight, ask him about drink - let alone drugs. But we would ask Dwain Chambers about drugs, if he was in the studio. But he won't be because he is too busy training, having just been selected for the UK Athletics team despite the fact that UK Athletics didn't want him and despite the fact that he was, in the past, a proven drug abuser. Jon is on the starting blocks to make sense of this odd example to put before our young 2012 hopefuls.

Not hoped for but certain, are death and taxes according to Ben Franklin. Taxes have long been held in contempt by many who pay them, but not so death. That is changing according to a traditional East End undertaker who has a black, glass-sided coach, plus four in hand. His is a worrying yet fascinating story.

Rambo is just a worrying story which the delicious Lucy is very unsure about. She'll tell you why at 6. Sly Stallone, you have been warned: don't mess with Ms Cotter.

Dan, our handsome Director, is chewing gum at the moment and She Who Must Be Obeyed, Ms Faye, (delightful in trousers and an oddly stylish top today,) is chanting "Mastication for the nation" in a sort of Jamaican accent.
It reminds me of a joke involving a judge and a defendant but we are not yet past the 9 o'clock watershed so I will leave it there.

Robin is still waxing eloquent about his fog pictures from yesterday and what a glorious, crisp spring day it has been: poet or meteorologist, the boy will make words sing for you at 6.

The London papers will still be on Macca and Mucca's case plus whatever sells copies - can't blame them: the mega-rich paper owners still have to eat and, after today, pull a little more from their gilt-edged piggy banks to pay for bringing that Roller or Ferrari in from the suburbs, or even across Kensington.
I know, your heart isn't quite bleeding but we all have to share this place, so live and let live.

See you at 6 and then we're all walking home.

Alastair and Nina.

 

London Tonight Tonight Monday 11th February

Good afternoon.

Camden looks, today, like it hasn't looked since the blitz. Our heart-felt sympathies go out to the people of that fine borough whose businesses were threatened by fire or went up in smoke at the weekend. Glen will trawl through the aftermath as the Fire and Rescue people continue to explore what caused such physical devastation. The only blessing is that no-one was hurt.

However, in a cruel twist of fate, a bus was on an unusual route this morning only because of the fire. It struck a railway bridge, shearing the roof off and leaving six people injured, one of them seriously. We will hear from one of the lucky survivors who was upstairs when the railway bridge treated the omnibus like a can of sardines. Emma guides you through this tale of the unexpected.

A dear old lady who once made frocks for the Queen had already lived to a ripe old age when she smelt smoke: not from Camden but from the family business above which she lived in Plaistow. Tragically she wasn't fleet of foot enough to escape and she died. But the tragedy morphs when we tell you who set the fire and why. Ronke mixes Family Fortunes with Murder She Wrote, for this one.

After that lot you may need a little light relief so, on your bikes for the next one. Ken plans to spend a half a billion pounds making life for London's 'pedallers' more pleasant. Car drivers and lorry drivers, pens to the ready: we want your reactions as well as the happy musings of the push-bikers. But why Ken is talking about Cycle "Motorways", I have no idea. Isn't the "motor" bit precisely what it is NOT about? I'll squeeze my clips so tight I'll lose circulation, along with the will to live!

But then my spirits soar as I am told we have a guest on the show who is the equivalent of Uma Thurman about ten years ago: young, beautiful, talented and about to take movie-goers by storm. She's already done a string of promising bit-parts and is only 21 years old. But this year, alongside a Who's Who of Hollywood A listers, she has no less than 5 movies coming out. Her name is Amber Heard and, no, I hadn't heard of her either. But I am assured by Max, the maestro of all things entertainment, I will and you will very soon. Join us and make your own minds up.

The above was real and not just hot-air from an ageing air-head. And there will be no hot air from London's first zero carbon house, either, which goes head to head with the world's design maestros in a global competition tonight. Solar power, and other renewables, make life in it a carbon free dream, I am assured. Damien is our tree-hugger.

Whether global warming was a factor or not, I do not know, but London was swathed in the most beautiful fog this morning and, if you missed it, we have the pictures to prove it. We also have, in Robin, the weatherman to explain why and, perhaps, predict some more.

Tune in to find out, then an early bed for you and up with that camera, at first light.

See you at six.  

Alastair and Nina.

   

London Tonight Tonight Friday 8th February

Good afternoon. Friday. Terrific. Salma has left two cups of tea and a Snicker bar for me. Short of winning the Eurolottery and booking one-way tickets to my private nirvana, what more could a chap want?
Lighting, on Waterloo Bridge, perhaps.
Most nights I go over it to escape the madness of the metropolis and am usually on the phone to my dear Dad. Fair to say then that I've never noticed the state of street lighting on the bridge. Nor have I ever sunk so low as to have nothing better to think about than which Borough or City authority is responsible for changing the lightbulbs when they fail. Tonight, we talk to the cyclist who nearly had an accident, blamed the bad lighting, took an age to find out who was responsible, and grew angry as it took even longer for the responsible party to do anything about it. We hope to have put a spring in their step for the future.
Spring. My favourite season. As the Good Book says, "to everything, there is a season". But not anymore according to the pruners and weeders of Kew. We have, it seems, misplaced some of the natural geometry of the year: summer and winter have merged into one hot-cool climactic morass. I am saddened and want to learn more. I think you may, too. So let us both join Marcus, our very own Capability Brown, down among the floribundas.
Most elderly people love floribundas and all manner of flowering lovelies. They also like the right to a safe and secure life. And when their relatives judge that a private nursing home, perhaps replete with a garden, is the safest place to secure contentment, they have every right on God's earth to expect it. You will share in my anger and incredulity when Nick unwraps the story of one elderly gent who, like his family, thought he was safe and well.
As, I am sure, did the families in Bromley, two years ago, think they were safe and well until subsidence put part of their homes several feet lower in the ground than it had been, moments before. Bits of wall also seemed to wander off, up the road. It was uninhabitable. The local council were, no doubt, too busy checking on lightbulb responsibilities to do much to help. Eventually, we have good news for them and Phil, our man on loan from Pickfords, wants to share it with you.
Salma has been talking to Nic Cage as , you may recall, Katie talked to Jeff Goldblum last night. I have been talking to the Editor. Something is going on here. What is more, Salma sent me an e-mail at 10.05 AM (yes, that is 10:05 this morning) TELLING me she "bagsied" doing What Not to Miss. I'll tell you what I want not to miss: the chance to conduct an occasional interview with a star. Not much to ask for a man of my experience, charm and contacts. But, No. I am seeing my agent and my lawyer this weekend. The powers that be and Ms Siraj have been warned.
"There will be blood" is both a prediction of the outcome of my meetings with the powers that be, and the title of one of the films James will review for you. The other is Juno which I thought was a space probe but apparently it is a movie, too. I'll be glued, though I can't speak for you.
But I know you will be glued to our weather forecast and possibly to the papers: do those headlines make you rush out and buy a copy, or go online, or wonder why anyone would bother reading it in the first place?
I have often wondered.

As I have about the genuine level of interest in sport news, unless it involves Lewis Hamilton. So, park-up, slip into neutral, and enjoy our 30 lap grand prix tour of the capital's news and features. Chequered flag falls at six and waves excitedly again at 6.30.
No pit stops to distract.

We are revved up and ready to go.

Alastair and Salma.

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 7th February

Good afternoon.

 

I favour what we call builder's tea - PG Tips, hot water and milk. Some take Earl Grey - which I think is probably PG tips with aftershave spilt in it. It is named after the Earl Grey who, as Foreign Secretary on the eve of the First World War, famously said in that sad circumstance: "All over Europe, the lights are going out. We shall not see them on again in my lifetime".
I mention this only because I fear something similar may be going through the Mayor's mind. Critics to the left of him, accusers to the right. It is still all about public money, the London Development Agency, Lee Jasper and an array of groups set up to do great things, but some of which appear to have done little beyond spending the afore-mentioned money.
"Alleged", "said to be" and all the other legal caveats are important and relevant but it is inching towards critical mass with a grand grilling of Ken at City Hall tonight. We'll be there live with Glen cast in the role of Lord High Executioner.

One group that gets public money and seems effective on many measures is the Operation Trident Unit of the Met. They were set up to combat black on black crime in which there has been a perceptable reduction, although there is still far too much of it. Their latest work in progress features Ronke and we think it may make her a star. Buy your popcorn and take a seat for the premiere tonight at 6.

Not a premiere but even better in some ways is Katie's encounter with Jeff Goldblum. She has just returned, said the interview runs far too long, but is peppered with more mots justes than a South Bank Show. He is also a lovely chap who plays jazz piano and Katie has just added, "I may not take calls from my husband this afternoon. I am sold". I didn't even know there was an auction and would surely have out-bid Goldblum, Jurassic Park royalties or not. I am a man of means who defends his fortune by drinking cheaper tea than most.

I will splash out, however, on jasmine tea in a Chinese restaurant, a form of food of which I am very fond. Why my pleasures and those of millions of others in our great capital may be curtailed will be explained by Damien. And all this in the Year of the Rat? Ominous.
As is the Chinese ability to excel at, of all things,  ping-pong. Darius, who I think you will remember from the distant London Tonight past, is determined to change that on their home soil, and on the world stage. Tempted by that? Thought you might be.

Get it all plus Chrissie on the riverbank and the papers before they end up in the cat tray.

And it is all free if you are there at 6.

We will be.
Alastair & Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 6th February

Good afternoon.

The Toyota Prius is a remarkable car. It can run on batteries or petrol, depending on the speed of the car and the road conditions. For all I know, it can sprout wings and soar, bird-like, across the skyline of our wondrous city. One was parked a little far from the kerb outside our studios, just now, and the driver of a Black Cab launched into a rant at the driver of the miracle motor. I thought it was about to morph into a boxing ring, which could prove helpful as a celebrated boxing club in the capital could soon ring time for the final round due to a lack of funds. Ben, in a smart white shirt and clip-on bow-tie, has the story.

Also morphing today, yards of black and yellow sticky tape as used by the police to mark out a scene of crime. Add an oil drum and other bits of debris and, as all you connoisseurs of modern art will know, you have a statue. To me, it looks like the head of Kendo Nagasaki, a Kent Walton wrestling idol from the 60s, but I am told it's supposed to be the first wife of a former dictator. Should you have retained the will to live, Damien will do his Brian Sewell impersonation at 6. Among his experts, he says is NOT a boring man in a grey suit but a very interesting man... in a grey suit, from the Council.

Bet there weren't many grey suits when Southend Council spent 37 grand on a staff knees-up. Think how many party-poppers and bottles of Pimms you could get for that little lot. Shame the Council is 17 million in the red. Tim Evans has taken the rate-payers final demands to the Town Hall, demanding an explanation.

No explanation for the woman who was pushing her disabled nephew across a road, only to be cut down by a bendy bus. She had crossed on a red light but we have the CCTV which suggests the driver must have seen her, and begs the question why he didn't do more to stop? Tamsin talks to the sister of a woman who survived but can no longer speak, let alone think, for herself.

Lots of thinking in the mind of Sally Anne Bowman's boyfriend who argued with the beautiful young model just hours before she was brutally murdered. Too many "what-ifs" to even contemplate.

My 14 year old son says Jimi Hendrix was the greatest ever guitarist. I am old enough to have seen Jimi Hendrix and my boy may have a point. That drink and drugs precluded Jimi becoming even greater is one of popular culture's many tragedies. A fabulous photographic celebration of a psychedelically troubled life, with Liz's finger on the shutter button.

Chrissie is terrified of birds and, because I still feel cold, we have sent her out to spend time with some this evening. To ruffle her feathers further (try to say that out loud) she will be forced to explain how you can attract them to your city garden, feed them up, and tempt the little lovelies to breed and produce even more. How cruel are we?

All of that plus London's front pages which will have been printed before we go on air and means you start with the latest news and end with stuff of a certain age.
But that is life, is it not?

Got my chocolate today, as you may have guessed.

See you at 6.
Alastair and Katie.

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 5th February

Good afternoon.

We have nothing but deep sympathy for the family of Sally Ann Bowman. You will probably remember the name. You will certainly remember the photos. Blond, elegant and beautiful, she was on the threshold of a modelling/singing career which would have made her proud parents even prouder. Someone brutally burst that bubble of hopeful expectation in a hideous and callous fashion, the detail of which a jury had to sit through today. Mum said she couldn't. We report on the opening day of the case against the man police believe cut short a lovely young life.
The man's guilt or innocence will, rightly, be determined by a jury. His lawyers will do their best to defend him, rightly so.

It is to be hoped there was no eavesdropping on the private conversations between the man and his lawyers because, in any system, that would be as wrong as listening to a private conversation between an MP and his constituent. Or a parole lawyer representing a man convicted, 40 years ago of killing 3 cops. Emma will explain why all of us should be angry and cautious: it seems there are more active bugs in the hands of police and security forces in London today than bugs on a blossoming rose bush. May the "buggers" wilt with shame.

Bob Crow feels no shame in calling for strikes to stop the entire Underground: there are 9 issues, Robin will explain, which Bob wants settled and he tells her that he believes after the Mayoral elections this May, his members will be left to go to hell in a hand-cart. It might be quicker than the Northern Line, come March!

The Australians have marched all over the sensitivities of the good people of Staines. "Sod Staines" they scream in a tasteless advertising campaign claiming the glories of Adelaide. Adelaide? An unattractive daughter of Queen Victoria? A city full of Australians? My point, I think. And what has Staines ever done to offend anyone? Ali G? David Brent? These are gifts from God to a grateful nation, nay grateful world. Adelaide vs Staines? Liz is our referee and, given her daughter lives down under, she will be fair. Too fair, I fear.

Films should be fairer to the environment according to Ken Livingstone, Emma Thompson and Alistair McGowan. Not sure I hear Hollywood squealing, but Jasmine may have heard more...

You'll have heard of W.C.Fields, a great American comedian. He had, on his gravestone, these telling words: "Frankly, I'd rather be in Philadelphia". Today many of our American cousins, from the fat cat bankers in Canary Wharf, to the back-to-front baseball hat brigade of LSE and UCL, might well echo his words, if they are 18 or over. It is Super Tuesday, the day when America takes a giant step toward deciding who they want to contest the US Election in November. And there are so many Americans Abroad that they are known as the 51st State, producing 22 delegates, or about 1% of the total needed to win the nomination.

So, it really matters, and Ben will capture the excitement. But, I hope, neither eat too many hotdogs nor down too many Buds. He has also met up with the man who must be regretting busting up with his wife more than most at the moment: she is Barak Obama's sister and he is now her ex-husband. Big mistake; as Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman. But he is funny and interesting. A super Super Tuesday report  from Mr Scotchbrook.

Indeed, a super programme from all of us for all of you.

What more could you want bar Chrissie and the papers? I'll throw them in too, at no extra cost.

See you at 6

Alastair and Katie.

London Tonight Tonight Monday 4th February

Good afternoon.

I was engaged in deep conversation with Faye who is back from a brief break and in charge, once again, of this ship of State. I share that with you in passing, to make the point that I missed the tea-trolley: Robin kindly got me a cup of tea but, alas, no-one got me my almost statutory bar of chocolate. Time moves on and I am trapped at my desk so if I seem a little slower than normal it is not age but a lack of confectionary stimulant.
I think, however, that the adrenalin rich prospect of Ken on the sofa will put that right and it won't add to my waistline. Katie and I look forward to an enlightening conversation with your Mayor and, given, May 1st creeps ever closer, here will be another chance for you to form, re-form or re-cast your view of the man who would be Mayor for another 4 years.

 

By which time the leak in Marylebone will surely have been repaired. TfL apologised: it was their lot that did it. Great pictures but serious inconvenience for the good people who live and work there.

 

Lewis Hamilton, who drives exotic race cars faster than anyone apart from a Scandinavian with a silly name, went to work to gear up for the next F1 season which opens next month. Work was practice in Spain: Spain is where the arch-rival he successfully dispatched last year, hails from and is a country which embraced fascism for some little time half a century ago. You'd have thought they would have got over both facts but the behaviour Glen reports at Lewis' practice runs may leave you worried that, in the larger of the two Iberian nations, memories are long and unsavory.

 

Faye, by the way, was in the Caribbean for a wedding and it shows. I, on the other hand, am cold - denied chocolate and cursed with flagging spirits.

I turn to Chrissie for some compassion and good news; I turn to the papers with no hope of good news nor compassion, so I throw myself at the feet of this running order in firm and constant belief we have crafted another uplifting and enlightening piece of work.

 

Hope so, or the powers that be will send Faye away again, with Katie and me in tow  - that might be our only way of getting to the Caribbean. No, your interests come first, dear viewers: honest!

 

See you at 6.

 

Alastair & Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight: Friday 1st February

Good afternoon.

The Big Boss is back from ill-health. Hurrah, we bellowed and it echoed to the rafters. Yesterday and Wednesday, my dear friend Ken, the man who knows more than you need to know about West Ham, was in charge and did a fine job I hope you will agree. One problem. Ken is not as familiar with our electronic means of communications as is The Big Boss. While the BB can put Bill Gates to shame, Ken still thinks Clive Sinclair and Alan Sugar are responsible for the Best Buys on the Shelf... that is why you didn't get your regular dose of our London Tonight Tonight ramblings : apologies.

No apologies for tonight's show: Nick reports on the nasty piece of work who couldn't wait for his inheritance so just took it, even though it put his dear mum at severe risk. Two things we think will hold you glued to our show are exactly what he did at his mum's expense and the amount of jail time the Courts thought would be appropriate to punish him. You will want to take up our invitation, me thinks, to express your views, electronically. Ken, on a day off, may drop us a line and pop it in the post.

Popped in the post, some fifty or sixty years ago, were the first ever "flat-pack" houses and, by air mail, they winged their way to Africa. Why and where they were found, riddled with bullets, and where, precisely, they have ended up back here in London, will have your eyes on springs, I'm sure. Damian is our man of international intrigue at IKEA.

No intrigue over our compelling fest of emotionally and artistically rewarding things you may chose from to do this weekend. Salma says "Possession is nine tenths of the Law" and she has changed the locks on the file marked What Not to Miss. It may be my age but I have given up.

Just starting out is David Jordan. He has talent, he has a world-famous hit producer working with him and he is managed by one of the true giants of the last thirty years of pop music. Who they are and why he is going to be massive, with Nick.

Probably not massive will be the film Underdog about which Salma expressed the sort of degree of interest I have caught in my children's eyes when they know it is time to visit the dentist. Cloverfield, on the other hand, could chill you to satisfied oblivion. Why not join us for James' take on them:Salma may be wrong - but who am I - isolated, ignored and undervalued- to say?

When it was planned, approved and constructed, many said the Thames Barrier might prove to be isolated, an eyesore and over-valued. It's backers proved them all wrong when, 25 years ago today, it swung into action less than a year after it's completion and a year before it's formal, Regal opening. Chrissie sings it;'s praises and explores if it will be needed this weekend - I think it would make a terrific wind-break!

We open at 6.

See you there, I hope.

Alastair and Salma... ( love her, really.)

London Tonight Tonight: Tuesday 29th January

Good afternoon.

I must apologise, again, for sneezing last night during our item on property with Louisa. I will do my best to avoid a repeat performance but, given how cold it has been, albeit precisely predicted by Chrissie, who knows. What I do know is that there is an unholy row brewing over our air - not the temperature but the quality and certain proposed efforts to rein in its deterioration. Next week sees the start of Ken's Low Emission Zone - and , even as you scoff "not me and my Mini" be warned: motorised caravans, motorised horse boxes, vans and lorries may all fall short of the Mayors ambitions for ecological purity and if that's you, it'll cost you 200 crisp ones for offending and five times as much if you don't cough. If it works you should, of course, be coughing less, but that is a separate issue.

Or is it?

We had a right old row with the man at TfL about what lay behind this plan: pollution? the environment? emissions? The resolution of this linguistic bit of arm wrestling will make some of you laugh but most of you turn a rich shade of puce. Simon will translate this Rosetta Stone of a piece of public policy. Cheques books to the ready and, if you haven't got your catalytic converter by now, you will be in a fug!

Go by foot, I hear many of you say. Therein may lie the rub, if you live in a certain part of Bromley. One man's fish may be another man's poison and one families crime-riddled foot-path may be another families peacefully rural route to school. Liz puts on a pair of sensible shoes in an effort to make sense of this conundrum.

Another conundrum has got one of our Tory MPs in serious trouble. Blessed with two bright sons, he put them on the parliamentary pay-roll as research assistants. The conundrum is this: can they legally be paid if they don't appear to have done much work? Who is to judge? Well PC Plod may have a peak at the worksheets and, in the meantime, David Cameron, the leader of the Conservative Party, has decided the MP in question, Old Bexley & Sidcup's Derek Conway, should spend even more time with his family whilst the matter is sorted out.

I suppose if he runs a bit short of the readies he could open a stall in a street market so long as he is not tempted to put parliamentary questions on his "for sale" sign: Derek never would, whilst others who did now grace our TV screens in a bizarre range of adverts and reality shows. What an odd world politics is. Anyway, street markets are under threat by the spreading cancer of, or ever helpful growth in, branded convenience stores: it all depends what you need at what time of the day and at what price, I guess. Glen says "Not 5, not 4, not 3 not 2... but about a minute and three quarters should add to your understanding. Sold to the man at the back!"

Should Glen, or perhaps I, on his behalf, say "And we'll throw in the youngest ever lad to be selected for the England Pool team!" he, or perhaps I, wouldn't be lying. He is with us too.

As is Chrissie, in a bright red coat today and looking lovely.

The papers - who knows - I got it wrong yesterday so let us leave it for idle speculation.

Never idle, the brilliant Ms Derham has been at the South Bank Show awards and will be bright eyed and brilliant, as ever, with me at 6.

She also says she'll bring the tissues.

See you at 6

Alastair & Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight: Mon 28th Jan

Good afternoon.

The relationship between "man", in the generic sense of "humanity", and dogs is a rich source of great stories and always has been. With Lassie, at one end of the spectrum, the funny yet knowing Snoopy in the middle, and the touching literary heights of Greyfriars Bobby at the other, they are tales which bring a tingle to the spine and a glint to the eye. So our tragic lead story, tonight, is especially hard to tell: a man is dead and his Rottweiller did it. What is less clear is whether this was an attack by a representative of a breed not known for placid self-effacement or a tragedy following an effort by the dog to rescue it's master following a heart attack or some other cause of collapse. Glen has our report and we invite your reflections.

Why should the crisis in global capitalism, fuelled by the collapse of the sub-prime mortgage market in America, have more people than is usual scurrying across Church roofs and striping them of lead? For the same reason that, as Northern Rock glides effortlessly towards the sidings of domestic banking, more and more trains are being delayed because someone has made off with the predominantly copper cabling. Still confused? Marcus and our special guest Jonathan Maitland will explain all.

No sensible explanation that we can think of will help you understand why yet another citizen has been slaughtered whilst asking some noisy kids to put a sock in it. Instead someone apparently put a knife in him. Tamsin has been talking to friends and family.

Gunzdown have been talking to, perhaps, some of the kids who do that sort of thing otherwise their mission is futile. Their ambition certainly isn't and the clue is in the groups names though they'll be just as pleased if you put Knivzdown, too. Ronke listens to their music and their message.

And here's a message for all of you who enjoyed High School Musical the TV show, the sound-track, the movie - now, at last, and in an entirely illogical order, we offer you High School Musical...The Musical!

Katie and her daughters assure me it makes perfect sense and is a perfect piece of entertainment. Jasmine gets down among the gifted youngsters to help you decide for yourselves; but, I must say, Katies little ones normally get this sort of thing right.

Which prompts me to remind you, Chrissie will have a weather forecast just before the London papers go crackers about the Securicor robbery in Kent and Jemima Khan protesting about a State visit. Only a guess.

It is Monday and I think this is a good start to the week. Hope you can stick with us for the whole week but do at least promise me you'll make a start with 30 minutes tonight at 6.

Alastair & Katie, a proud mother of talented kids with taste.

London Tonight Tonight: Fri 25th Jan

Good afternoon.

Windsor is one our most beautiful towns - that glorious expanse of parkland which is home to so many games of cricket in the summer and rugby in the winter; the silver green ribbon of the Thames, bringing high thoughts down river from Oxford and ferrying a sense of history to Runnymede and the RAF monument, and out to sea. And the delightful cobbled street winding up, past and around the ancient castle and favourite home of our Monarch. That it shares a postcode with Slough, which even the gentle Betjamin thought might benefit from a little Teutonic bombing, is a cause of disquiet to many of the townsfolk. Not sure what She thinks but Ronke may ask. If she does, it may be knowledge for you but the Tower for her.

Which would be a bad end to the week.

Being a Gooner, experiencing a death in the family, being promised your personal pension problem would be sorted out by Peter Hain - next week, and finding your lottery numbers had come up but your partner had forgotten to buy your ticket. That's a really bad week.

A glass of scotch, albeit for medicinal purposes, at 10am; being endorsed by the Prime Minister and the Leader of the House of Commons; no serious delays on the Northern Line and a global campaign launched to protect endangered salamanders.

That, for Ken Livingstone, should have been a good week.

We attempt, therefore, to explain tonight why he says it has been the worst week in his life. And we've news that should certainly cheer him as it should getting on for half of you, too. Glen does his Ken Dodd thing with his political tickle-stick.

Tickled almost to death are the brave boys of Havant and Waterlooville. I know: a south coast town in Hampshire coupled with a small community named to celebrate one of our finer moments of Anglo-French history and also in Hampshire, But many of the line-up of this until recently little known soccer team hail from The Smoke. And because they are poised for glory or heroic defeat we have embarrassed them. Bring on the scousers of the Kop, we cry: death or glory! Marcus The Gooner is our man on the A3, southbound.

West-bound from the capitol, an army of Walter Mittys, a brigade of self-dillusionists, wending their way to a Terminal that doesn't even open til March. But they do it with a purpose which will advantage most of us, one day. Mike Pearse is your trolley-dolly.

Far greater than a mere dolly is the magnificent talent that is Mary J Blige. Jagger is a huge fan so that's good enough for me. A story of musical genius and personal triumph over dark adversity: on all counts, a must, with the delicious Lucy in command.

In command and wielding his critical cut-throat is the close-cropped James King. Will he savage Sweeney Todd and take a barbers blade to The Savages? Paint your faces and don a big white apron at 6: it could get messy.

Any spillage, and we can mop it up with London's papers having first shared with you the headlines and send you off with that warm glow of contentment that only Chrissie can dispense.

I cannot bring myself to comment at any length on What Not To Miss as I have, like the Germans in the Battle of the Bulge , been outflanked - like the Allies at Dunkirk, been left high and dry - like Harold at the Battle of Hastings, taken a direct hit in the eye: "she" merely confirmed, via the Director, that "she" would prepare and present this Holy Grail of broadcast information. Think of me as Napoleon - not on St Helena, for there is no escape: I have been sentenced to my broadcasting Elba.

See how I manage to raise my spirits, or not, at 6.

Alastair and the one who must now be known as Salma the Serpent.

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 24th January

Good afternoon.

Oliver Twist is one of those defining stories - with the possible exception of A Tale of Two Cities, it is Dickens at his best and you've either read it, seen "Oliver!" the musical and/or the film and/or probably enjoyed one of the many, fine TV treatments . So when Faye, the Beautiful One who, as you know is in charge, said our lead story is a kind of "Oliver Twist" saga, all ears pricked up. When she said it made innocent criminals out of children as young as 4, having kidnapped them from eastern Europe, you could have heard a pin drop. You will be fixed at 6 and guided through the shock of it all by Glen, who in my mind is more an Artful Dodger than an Oliver.

Marcus, still recovering from his sacred Gooners trouncing at the hands of the Boys from White Hart Lane, vents his spleen on bus announcements. "Too many" you cried. "Here's the evidence", we reported a little while ago. "Not so", protested the blind of London who find them very helpful. TfL, who started it all, back pedalled and said it would pull many of them, only to annoy both the blind protestors and the fine-of-hearing who say there are still too many.
Marcus will wade in, Solomon-like, and threaten to chop the whole argument, metaphorically, in half.
He really is very grumpy.
Unlike the Big Boss who celebrated his birthday yesterday, at home. He brought cake in today which we all enjoyed. Except Faye. She must be a size 6 at the very most and is about to go on holiday to exotic, distant parts. She feared even a sliver of cake would diminish what, in my mind and her delightful husband's mind, flirts with perfection.
So I had two pieces. Hurrah.

I will plough on though, maybe less than animated on the bench, when we tell you about a story which sits somewhere between serious and hilarious. A huge pile of tarpaulins in Reigate, littered liberally with hay, hid an amazing thing. A thing that shouldn't have been there. Not a crooked man nor a horseman of the apocalypse - I can't tell you more save to say you will want to hear Damien's explanation of Reigate's Ructions.

Police dogs are often Alsatians. Alsatia is part of Germany even before Hitler got murderously confused about French Alsace-Lorraine. So, German police dogs would, of course, bark German. And not estuary Essex. Tell that to the Boys in Blue who patrol east of the City and north of the River. Raus raus rather than ruff ruff, I fear.

The mother of the lead singer of The Feeling has cerebral palsy and is in a wheel chair. I met her at a Scope charity event which he had kindly agreed to speak at. I know nothing of his music but I liked him a lot and was really impressed that one so young and so successful would not only remember his mum, but take time out of his meteoric rise to the top, to do something to help her and those who suffer like her. Lucy has been to talk to him about his music. I will listen to the tunes but will be thinking of his humanity. You can make your choice at 6 . Either way, he is a winner.

The London papers will, among other stories,  retain an interest in Peter Hain's resignation, unless he changes his mind. Chrissie will, I trust, attempt to warm us up with a good weather forecast or believable spin about Spring.
Either will do.
Salma is taking Katie's place tonight and, early on, asked if she might start work, even today, on tomorrow's What Not To Miss. I pointed out it was Thursday and that she had done it last week. And the week before. She smiled that melting smile and I fear I caved in. Or maybe, after two slices of the Big Boss' cake, I was only capable of an involuntary grin. Who knows. She's doing it. But I still think there is a plot, ploy or piece of professional hanky-panky going on here.

See you at 6.

Alastair & Salma, the one to be watched... me thinks!
 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 23rd January

Good afternoon.
Looking down, a flock of seagulls might have thought they'd been pipped at the post by some marauding magpies if they swept over today's police pay protest. Uniforms were banned but twenty two thousand white baseball caps gave the same message "United we dress, divided we fall".
To the fore, Mayor Livingstone - not in custody but in solidarity with the boys and girls normally in blue but today in civvies. Sticking to the colour theme, Harris was musing over what Brown would have made of the white-headed, thin blue line. More of the Master's thoughts on it all at 6.

The sister of a friend of mine - who was given millions in trust from her hugely successful father - was a Buddhist, didn't approve of cash, and bought a plot of land to build a prayer garden. Planning permission was denied and when she was forced to sell she made even more money. God, and/or Buddha, have a sense of humour. Anyway, tonight we have the property developer who found an original piece of Banksy art on  a wall adjoining a bit of his land. It was in the way but, rather than flatten it, it appears he is spiriting it away. Question: is it his to "spirit" ? And, if the last Banksy wall went for over £200 k, what might our builder friend make? Damien grabs a pick and shovel to try to find out.

Katie and I have taken a pick and shovel to dig our way out of suggesting, last night, Spurs stood not a chance against the mighty Gooners. Oops. All five goals, several times over by way of penance, under the mighty boot of Jon.
And we do a David Mellor and don the Blues strip to muse over whether or not it might be an all London Carling Cup Final. Only the small issue of The Other Footballing Scousers, Everton, stands in the way.

Faye, more a netball or lacrosse babe, shed a tear at the preview of The Bucket List, Jack Nicholson's latest masterwork. We preview it and Jasmine is on the lookout for talent on the red carpet. Beware, Jasmine, if you hear "Here's Johnny!", run! Morgan Freeman is wandering around too, it seems, so all to play for at 6.

Papers, weather with Chrissie and our mighty newsbelt should see you safely from 6 to the Evening News with hardly the distraction of a cup of tea.

I've had two but I think I can last the course. Now for some chocolate.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Katie

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 22nd January

Good afternoon.
I am sorry if this is a little late but I had to pop out to get my hair cut - I know, not a lot there but it does require disproportionate care. There, in the chair before me, was Cecil Parkinson, now Lord Parkinson, one-time Chairman of the Tory party and matinee idol to a generation of blue rinse babes some little time ago.
He was, in his time, one of the great Tories.
Odd, however, that Ken should have chosen to compare himself to another great Tory in his fight back over allegations concerning his consumption of the demon drink.
Churchill drank to a degree which would have put an entire shoal of fish to shame. And he fought against the South African Boers. And he beat the Germans. And he used to be a Liberal. And he called his wife Piggy. And he was father to a noted alcoholic who became a less noted back-bench MP. When it comes to comparisons I guess you take your pick. How much Ken really has in common with Winnie is the subject of Glen's magnum opus.
Amy Winehouse has an unfortunate name, to say the least. Allegations of wrestling matches with the demon drink are also legion in her life and she is pretty upfront about them. Mention hard drugs and it all gets a little more difficult and delicate. So when a national red Top paper splashes images purporting to be dear Ms Winehouse, smoking crack cocaine, things get horrid. We ask an expert just how much trouble this brilliant singer is in with her health.

We also talk to the woman who knows she has problems with her life because she did time for them. But she has turned a corner and she shares that experience with others, including you, tonight.

The village of Harmondsworth shares with you it's rich heritage which goes back to that French upstart, William the wouldn't-have-been-a Conqueror if Harold and his boys hadn't been so tired in 1066.
They've seen off all challenges since but fear the British Airports Authority may do to them what Civil War, Zeppelins and the Luftwaffe couldn't. Damien, who I've never seen as a plane-spotter, has goggles around his neck and a little note-book  in his gloved hand, and all for you.

Which ever side loses tonight's Carling Cup semi-final will say it is an unimportant leg in an unimportant competition. Whichever wins will hail it as another victory laurel on the way to football's nirvana. Anyway, it will be big as it's Gooners Vs Spurs (why don't they have a more imaginative nick-name?) and Estelle will brief you. I think she is a Southampton fan with a long memory of glories, thirty odd years ago.

The papers will talk of terror on the trading floors of London's stock markets and tomorrow it will probably be boom time again.
Chrissie, always a boom, has the weather.

It was really cold when I came back from the barbers, as I told  Faye. She just laughed because I went to the same hairdresser as Cecil Parkinson. Hurt, I still concede she looks her lovely self today but I detect a cruel streak developing.

 

See if it shows up in tonight's edition of the programme that, for the time being, she is in charge of.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Katie
xxx

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Fri 18th Jan

Good afternoon.

Captain Fantastic was an Elton John album; Captain Marvel a Super-hero and Captain Birds-Eye a rather dubious cliché of a character, pressed into action, over the years, to flog fish fingers.

Captain Cool and Captain Courage are just a couple of the names the newspapers have come up with for Peter Burkhill, the guy who steered the "12.55 from Beijing" over houses, factories and fences in a literally death defying feat of aeronautical skill because, in the process, he saved 152 lives on the 'plane and God knows how many on the ground. He speaks later this afternoon and we suspect that you, like us, will be intrigued by his every word.

I was also intrigued when Salma said, at 3.22pm, that she had already taken a look at the script for What Not to Miss and so she might just as well record it. I feel out-flanked and bullied but it would be churlish of me to deny what may be her only serious pleasure today.

What has been but a small part of the enormous pleasures that I have already enjoyed today, and a mere smidgen of those I plan to enjoy before the sun sets over the yard-arm, is reading about Janet Devers who, like her mum before her, sells fruit and veg' from a market stall. That, in itself, would put her in my "hero" category. That it is a second generation business brings her yet more brownie points. But Sainthood and super-hero status are guaranteed for Janet because she sells her fine and earthy produce by the pound as well as mentioning the weight, in passing and surely only to satisfy those mainly tubby and normally self-satisfied types in Brussels, in kilos. I can remember tables that featured rods, poles and perches by way of length measurement and there is just something splendidly nostalgic about the old language of measurement - pounds and ounces ... "Lbs" and "Ozs". They will be after our pounds sterling and pennies next. Hurrah for Janet... is one side of the argument and, as this case went to court, we will, of course, reflect both with equal fairness and impartiality.

We are re-introducing a sportsbelt as we call it tonight - a series of four or so shortish sports stories which we hope you will enjoy and find interesting. In the worst circumstance that you don't, it will provide you with time to stroke the cat, poke the fire or draw the curtains: just don't get the nouns and verbs muddled up.

I was muddled when I asked why our story called "Fridge" wasn't in the sportsbelt convinced, as I was, that he was a very large player of American gridiron football.

In a flash I impressed The Big Boss, who is in charge to day as Faye is getting her three days of beauty sleep. But I also disappointed him: that I knew of a football player called "the fridge" impressed him. That I had forgotten about the sentencing of some nasties over a brutal attack at a nightclub called "The Fridge" didn't.

Learn, with me, the full outcome.

Finally James casts his eagle eye over the weekend's celluloid offerings both of which look terrific but for his choice and for his views, you'll have to tune in at 6.

In addition to the weather and the papers, we have a wonderfully off-the-wall tale which is like Michael Douglas's Gordon Gecko character in "Wall Street" meeting Steptoe & Son. "Greed is good, you dirty old man...". Older viewers will know instantly what I mean. Younger viewers will, I hope, find it worth investing their time in finding out what on earth I am going on about.

All and more, at 6.

Alastair & Salma.

 

 

 

,

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 17th January

Hello all,

 

No surprises what we've been concentrating on today .. you may have heard about the small matter of a BA plane making an emergency crash landing at Heathrow. It certainly kept me and the legendary Alastair on our toes at lunchtime. In case you HAVEN'T had the chance to turn on the radio or tv yet today, I should quickly tell you that there were no serious injuries .. but my goodness, what a close shave those passengers had.
We'll have everything you need to know: the facts of the accident, witness reports, the near miss accounts from people on the ground, the technical expertise, and .. of course .. the knock on effect for everyone who's either travelling through or near Heathrow today.

 

It's not the only story in town though .. we've also got the aftermath of that shocking stabbing in Camberwell yesterday - of a 13 YEAR OLD girl in a Catholic school playground.

 

We also sent Damien off to Camden, where the many purveyors of tie-died bedspreads and goth clothing (or was that just when I used to hang out there in the early 90's .. ) are frankly fed up with the increasing numbers of drug dealers. It's ruining business, they say, as well of course as being a real menace.

 

So, what with that, the papers, the weather , and your thoughts on the Heathrow accident .. that'll be your lot!

 

See you at 6.

 

Katie x