Thursday 22nd January

Good afternoon.

I enjoy table games. Scrabble is one which tests lexicography and geometry. Trivial Pursuit is another - when we play at Christmas, distant relatives have been known to pay good money to have my frighteningly bright eldest son on their team. But my favourite is Monopoly - chance, greed and negotiating skills come to the fore but luck can give even the youngest success. We are firm in our view that if you miss someone landing on your property, that's tough. No second chances in the Rackmanesque Stewart household. So when a group of squatters moved into a couple of prime sites on Park Lane, we'd have been round there in a flash, demanding the rent. But, under an extraordinary quirk of British housing law, the squatters are within their rights to be there. Possession being nine tenths of the law is a cliché of merit in this scenario, too. The Duke of Westminster, who owns the freehold to both the "Blue" addresses in Monopoly (though one is an 'area' to be precise) is as nothing in his incandescence, I'd imagine, to the neighbours who like everything neat and tidy. They even tend to keep their fleets of costly cars in dust-covers in the underground car parks of that prime bit of London real estate. Marcus , to the strains of a popular Australian soap and a fine track by the Rolling Stones, explores if "all property is theft" or if squatting is a simple implementation of the Leninist edict "to each according to his needs, from each according to his abilities".

There's a square on the Monopoly board, too, called "Free Parking" - we put all the fines there and, first to land, scoops up the lot. When a band of travellers alighted upon a bit of "Free Parking" near Basildon some years ago, the burghers of that fine New Town, whose political fortunes used to determine the outcome of general elections, gave them a bit of leeway. But, as the encampment spread, they were not best pleased. It all came to a head in the courts and 60 families are now "travelling" again despite being "travellers" who had wanted to end their journeying in the fair fields of that bit if Essex. It isn't as confusing as it seems but it is a fiery as you are thinking. Harris latches a beautifully painted wagon to his flat-truck and investigates.

There was little of the "Community Chest" spirit abroad in Harrow when Molly, an 81 year old pensioner, was mugged for the content of her hand-bag. A sign of the times she had fallen upon are evidenced by the contents - a plastic bag , and that was about it. Her mugging cost her her life but the reaction of some Harrow residents has cost them their reputations. Even Margaret Thatcher said we should follow the Good Book and "not walk by on the other side" but there were scant few good Samaritans in Harrow that day. Ben, Bible in hand, asks why and sees thousands of leaflets being distributed in an effort to jog perhaps guilty memories.

The "Chance Card" came up trumps for a young girl on holiday in Greece but I am not going to say anymore than that, save to insist you stay with us to the very end of the show when Lucy will, from Greece, explain how fortune smiles on the brave.... and the talented.

I also have a European version of Monopoly in which we and the Danes are at the cheap end of the property market - brown for them, light blue for us - whilst the German occupy the dark blue of Park Lane and Mayfair. Humph! Anyway, the Pound's convincing impersonation the sky-diver's choice of currency is slowly moving us up the board as the rest of the world's first choice of holiday destination. How we are gritting our teeth, welcoming the French and taking Europe to the cleaners - all safe in the hands of the entirely unxenophobic Glen.

Finally, the owners of some dogs should get the "Go Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect £200" card for the attacks they are not stopping their canines from carrying out on swans. The Duke of Norfolk and the Queen are thought to be furious.

As is Robin who was due to attend a family lunch' but has graciously agreed to come and present his forecast following a slight slip-up in the roster department. We are thrilled and grateful until he actually starts talking rain, wind and coldness.

The Oz is watching me on Countdown and thinks I look nice. I am honoured and not a little thrilled. I used to watch her on Setanta Sport: didn't understand the content but became a huge fan. Maybe we could do a deal over Bond Street and Leicester Square? But I never let my Railway Stations go....

See you at 6. Bring your dice, racing car and boot.

Alastair and Alex

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 21st January 2009

Afternoon,

The one place you should feel safe as a woman in London is in the back of a black cab, right? I know whenever I go out I always get reminded to make sure I black cab it home - but hearing about the allegations from 14 women in the capital, it's definitely put me on a warning.

A cabbie's going on trial today accused of drugging his passengers and sexually assaulting them - the women say he claimed to have won the lottery and then gave them champagne laced with drugs to celebrate. He denies it. Tamsin Roberts reports on what's happened so far...

Also tonight we're talking London 2012 - and unfortunately I don't think you'll be shocked to hear it's all about funding for our Games. The big bods have been meeting today and we're told they need more cash. We'll be filling you in on all the details - which have yet to trickle down to us. But, it does seem they need more money and it does seem the pot they've put aside is scarily close to being empty already - just 3 and a half years left... Oh dear. Boris will be on hand to tell us how he's feeling about the Games and just how he's going to keep looking after our interests - and our cash. Quite a conundrum!

Next, Lucy Long's story's already in danger of bringing me to tears - the little poppet has been battling leukemia since she was 2 - but her two sisters have been determined not to let her go it alone. Lucy's now 8 and after chemo, recovery and a relapse her big sis - who's just 12 - stepped in to donate the bone marrow that now sees her back at school. Because of the chemo, Lucy probably won't be able to have kids of her own - so her other big sis - who's 11 - says she'll donate eggs later in life so she can.

I know you'll agree they really are just the most inspiring family - I'm feeling this one especially tonight as I've just been to visit my family for my Granddad's funeral - I got to see my two little cousins who are 8 and 10 and the product of donated eggs after we found my Aunty couldn't have children either. Their gorgeous faces got us through yesterday and they wouldn't be around if it weren't for family all getting together and making sacrifices for each other.

Also tonight - Tom Cruise's new movie - but no Tom Cruise... Apparently we may well catch sight of him talking to the crowd in Leicester Square tonight but he won't be talking to our Lucy. Don't worry...she hasn't offended him and Katie hasn't banned him from talking to gorgeous female reporters - he's just scared she might water pistol him! Well, not quite true, but after the time the squirt - sorry Tom - got squirted he doesn't do red carpet interviews anymore. He didn't even talk to Lucy in a safe (ish) hotel room about Valkyrie... But never fear - Eddie Izzard and Bill Nighy did! Al's more than happy with this outcome - as am I - so we'll see what they have to say about the flick, and we'll play "Where's Wally" with Tom later.

We've also got more tips to beat the credit crunchiness and a lovely walk round Myddleton Gardens in the sunshine to help you feel like Spring is in the air.

See you at 6.

Alex and Al.

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 20th January 2009

Good evening.

At the brilliant RAF Museum at Hendon there used to be a Vickers Valiant "V" bomber, painted brilliant white. I took my dad there once because, many years ago, he commanded the Valiants of 207 Squadron. They were painted in that striking fashion to deflect the flash that would have come from the nuclear bombs they used to carry should they have ever had to deploy them. It is a chilling thought. He used to celebrate the fact that they were never used and that the Cold War was won at room temperature and not at a level that would have incinerated humanity.
Tragically, to make sure they worked in providing that mutually assured destruction upon which the stand-off of the Cold War was based, the bombs had to be tested. It happened in the '50s on and off Bikini Island in the South Pacific. Well, more than half a century on, some of the soldiers, sailors and airmen who were there for those fateful tests are suing the Crown. Many of the survivors developed cancer, many have since died. Liz hears their remarkable stories.

Barack Obama wasn't born then but grew up through the Cold War that followed, and entered Congress with the collapse of the Soviet Union already history. Today he inherits the Cold War's nasty hot successors: wars against terror and the Taliban in Iraq and Afghanistan. Today is his day as he becomes the 44th President of the US. What he does over the next 4 and, perhaps, 8 years will impact upon us all. But here in London we welcome tens of thousands Americans - students, bankers, performers and the rest of them. So we expect an international interest in the Big Party in Washington this afternoon. We'll give you ITV's first taste of it all at 6.

Incidentally, Obama has pledged to spend time and money in colossal quantities to get the world's economy partying again. That matters to us, and how. Meantime, we have our own tips on how you can get through the recession. I have confidence Obama's plan will make a difference but meantime London Tonight would like to do it's bit to help you.
In return we, and the Police, need your help to find a schoolboy who has gone missing from Reading. He left for school, never made it and has not been heard of since. Ronke has the details you need to do your bit.

Faye, all in black, is planning, I think, to go to some rock event. She looks rock chick-esque bar the splendid bump. Perhaps it is the BRITS - nominations revealed this evening. If it is, her excitement will be clipped because she will have already heard the nominations on this programme which she, herself, is producing! Nick gets a peak inside the magic envelopes and shares.

Glen goes through a similar exercise for The South Bank Show awards - less rock and roll, more "how we shall miss Sir John Mortimer" - but valid, nevertheless. Lord Bragg's hair always makes it worth it for me, anyway.

Finally, the National Trust want £4 m to protect a two-up, two-down semi- in Wandsworth. An African poet, Moorish friezes and a unique art form are the only hints I have been given so I, like you I hope, will hang upon Lewis' every word.

Lucy makes her debut on the show tonight about which I am thrilled. This is the woman who takes Tom Cruise, Will Smith and Robert De Niro in her stride. Can you imagine the honour and excitement I feel. Think Obama and his swearing in and you are getting close.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Lucy

Friday 16th January

Good afternoon.

The Oz has just shown me a clip of a movie which is somewhere between a Buzby Berkeley spectacular and Crufts. To say it draws upon Aztec history and one of the most celebrated scenes in "Pretty Woman" may help. She thinks it is hilarious and tears were rolling down her lovely cheeks. The Big Boss is not a fan but feels you should, nevertheless, see it as part of your weekend planning and that, to a degree, is what we are here for on Fridays. All will be revealed at 6.

"9 1/2 weeks" was a steamy movie some years ago starring a steamy actor called Mickey Rourke and a blonde bombshell called Kim Bassinger. She bought a town, named it after herself and drifted into obscurity. He hit the bottle, did a fair bit of drifting himself but is now back with two pin-falls, two submissions and a knock-out called "The Wrestler". BB thinks you will want to see that one. The Oz is still spending time with the other option. You decide.

Spending time at Her Majesty's convenience for , potentially, a little over a year and a half is the street-sweeping, make-up wearing pop icon that is Boy George. He's a great DJ and launched a clothes line - not something to dry garments upon but a range of tasteful shirts etc. Alas, his taste in photography, friends and general bad-behaviour have landed him in clink. That which can be told will be told by Lewis - too young to remember Culture Club and too wise to delve any deeper than he needs to.

We will accept no limits on our delving into why some scuz would have mugged a little old lady, leaving her to die. The scuz's haul included her hand-bag which contained a plastic bag and little else. That is the only part of the tale that pleases me - the rest is an evil, hollow tragedy. Ronke is on the trail of the unforgivable low-life responsible.

The process of deciding whether Amanda Knox is an unforgivable, murdering low-life or an innocent abroad has begun in Italy. She and her former boyfriend are accused of the murder of Surrey student Meredith Kercher and we will be joined by NBC's reporter in Perugia with the latest.

The latest Meryl Streep can be for her appointment this evening with Lucy Cotter is 5.45pm. If she makes it you'll hear all about "Doubt", her latest offering and how it feels to be involved with the biggest selling DVD of all time, "Mama Mia". If she doesn't, it'll be tight satin stuff for the Oz and a beard, topped off with a vacant grin, for me as we do our celebrated rendition of "The winner takes it all". "Doubt" we will leave for another time. Here's hoping and praying Meryl makes it. I wouldn't mind seeing the Oz in that satin outfit but I am sensitive to your ear-drums and sense of taste.

I am going to see "Oliver!" on Monday and the reasons I am giving up a precious evening will be made clear as the Oz takes you across the outback that is "What Not To Miss". She will also explain how not to miss the boat and how to express your anger, without words, should you do so. It's a sort of Jacques Cousteau meets Marcel Marceau moment, I think.

Robin is here and is planning to do his forecast in the manner of a game of charades - "It's a TV programme: 3 words. Third word, two syllables; first, sounds like a precious metal; second, an expression of confusion".

The papers will have pictures of the Hero of The Hudson who demonstrated that, should Heathrow's third runway ultimately be blocked, the stretch of the Thames between Putney and the Harrods depository would do just as well... with a bit of skilled banking and one tight left turn.

I think that's it and, if it's not, it probably should be.

I have paid the Congestion Charge Penalty my wife earned last week so my spirits are in need of lifting. Let's hope, after all, that Meryl is delayed. Here I go again. My my!

Oh, almost forgot. Gordon Brown went to the 2012 site to mark the mid-point between Jacques Rogge's "Lun-dorn" announcement in Singapore and Boris' "Rigght, here we go:wiff-waff, first. Beginners please!" moment in 2012. I think it deeply significant that Gordon lost at ping-pong and Bozza didn't show. I am keen to know if Harris agrees as I think you might be, too.

There. Now that is it.

See you at 6.

Alastair and Alex

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 15th January 2009

Good Afternoon one and all.

So, we now know. The Government thinks Heathrow should get its third runway, that Britain's economy would suffer without it, and that this argument should take precedence above all others.

Not everyone agrees, of course, but at least all those in the 'nay' lobby now know what they're facing. Not that voting lobbies will come into it - as the Prime Minister said yesterday it's up to the planning authorities.

So even if local Labour MPs oppose the idea, they'll never get to show their true colours in a House of Commons division. The Conservative Party, meanwhile, say they'll kick the expansion plans into the long grass if they get into power.... which could give loyal Labour supporters in Sipson something to chew on come the next General Election.

Let's face it, there's lots for all of us to chew on when it comes to Heathrow. The environmental argument clearly has some weight... but when the country's economy is slipping down a very steep hill, the business argument can't be ignored either.

We'll set out as many of the arguments as we can in the programme this evening, before asking you where you stand as the 'yay' and 'nay' sides prepare for war.

Speaking of wars, the Cold War warmed through years ago and Russia is hosting this year's Eurovision Song Contest. So why has the idea of a former KGB agent taking ownership of something as 'London' as the Evening Standard got people so het up? Not that it'll make a difference. Alexander Lebedev says he wants it. He has, after all, got billions to spend on anything he likes. Lucky Alex.

Next: a little girl called Poppy shouldn't really have come into the world when she did. All things being equal, she'd have stayed in the safety of her mother's womb for another 16 weeks. But, not all things are equal and she arrived very prematurely. Born in Norwich she was recently moved to Great Ormond Street, the hospital internationally renowned for its treatment of sick children. This time, however, something went horribly wrong with her medication, doctors say her chances of surviving are now 'poor'. Spare a thought for Poppy's family. Spare a thought too, for whoever is ultimately responsible.

On a much happier note. Lots of notes actually... 'Oliver' has finally opened at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane and the reviews are as wonderful as the songs. Rowan Atkinson wows as 'Fagin' so I'm told. Jodie Prenger (she of 'I'd Do Anything' fame) is 'brilliant' as Nancy. (I'm particularly pleased about this because not only have I got tickets to see the show, the Scotchbrook family voted for Jodie more than once.) Anyway, don't take my word for it. Take Lucy's. She saw it last night and she'll tell all tonight.

So, once again, a full and varied news agenda in, and around, the capital...

We round it all up for you at SIX.

Ben & Alex.

London Tonight Tonight 14th January 2009

Good afternoon.

I am haunted by the juxtaposition of our piece last night on the 1911 census and our lead story tonight. Daisy's great-grandfather was, you might recall, a "paper-hanger". She mused that he was some sort of painter-decorator, a less vibrant thing as the combination of the recession and Lawrence Lewellyn-Bowen have driven us to doing our own thing. And David Beckham's ancestor was a "scavenger". Tonight's shocking news is that many more of us may be forced to do our own thing in the paper-hanging area, and even more may be reduced to following in the footsteps of DB's late relative.
London, with it's previous reliance for jobs on banking and retailing, has been hit by the recession like the Ruhr Valley was after the Lancasters of 617 Squadron, "The Dam Busters", had paid their "Barnes Wallis Bouncing Bomb" visit. We are awash with the unemployed and the economic equivalent of those bombers is now heading for the other dams of our frail business and commercial world. Phil plays Guy Gibson and swoops over the wreckage. Never have so few owed such apologies to so many. Ministers and bankers take note.

Perhaps, if the emergency services had placed orders for digital radios that worked underground a little sooner, some, at least in the electronics industry, might have been looking at a brighter future. Perhaps it is not too late. Nick (call signal Nick Nick) tunes into the emergency frequency to eavesdrop for explanations as to why it has taken the twenty years since the Kings Cross fire for our brave saviours to be given the means of talking to one another whilst down in the troubled depths.

Southend are heading for the troubled depths of the First Division or floundering in the realms of mid-table mediocrity as Faye, (lovely tight, grey top and seriously tight blue jeans) put it, whilst Chelsea are still being buffeted at the top of the Championship between Liverpool and Man U. Tonight this evidently unequal match contests a place in the next round of the FA Cup. One Southend fan was going to give us his thoughts at his desk but his boss said no, so he is now meeting Marcus in the pub. And I am supposed to believe that explanation? Raise your glasses to that and then listen to the wonderful Andy Townsend, pitch side and live, on the hopes the Shrimpers have of giving the blues to The other Blues.

One side will "feel good" but tonight we invite you all to "feel good". ITV and Ian Wright (Arsenal) have teamed up to get you to do good stuff that will make you feel better for free. "Walking on Hampstead Heath" suggested Faye. Interesting thought, that, for one renowned for her caution and morality. Apparently someone's also built a moat in Dagenham. Perhaps it is to keep the forces of failing capitalism away from what remains of the ailing Essex manufacturing base, but who am I to say. Liz, on the other hand, knows what she is talking about so give ear.

Lucy snogged Will Smith on air a while back and went for a re-match this afternoon. A very romantic boat trip was planned but you won't want to miss out on seeing why choppy water and a need for pepto bismol, played gooseberry to her amorous imaginings.

The sea-state may not feature in Chrissie's forecast but the fog will. Listen carefully because you might not be able to see her.
The papers will moan about small businesses and Peter Mandelson, and we will say goodnight. And farewell. To a once vibrant economy, the dashed romantic hopes of an Entertainment Correspondent, and the hopes of non-Championship football! Or not.

Enough. The Oz is back from getting coffee so I must pretend again to work.

See you at six.

Alastair and Alex

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 13th January 2009

Good afternoon.

David Beckham, whether for Manchester United, LA Galaxy or AC Milan, is more of a goal-maker than goal-taker. He passes, sweeps, builds and constructs the circumstances for others to take the goal. Rooney and Ronaldo, for example, are "takers". They loiter, waiting for the likes of David to give them service and then strike. They are goal-mouth scavengers. Odd, then, that David isn't, because we now know that one of his East End ancestors was a scavenger. The man gave this as his "trade" in the 1911 census. We chose Daisy as our elegant guinea pig to rifle through the original documents which went online today to discover what her long-since passed relatives did. The results are intriguing and quite emotional, especally when Daisy shares them with her mum. At six, she shares them with you.

Baby Jesus was born in Bethlehem because of a census, some 2009 years and three weeks ago. Baby J will never appear on a census because he was killed by his mum. "Social workers, again," I hear some of you muse. No. Health visitors this time. A shocking twist to the scourge of child neglect and the views of Esther Ranzten of That's Life and Childline fame at 6.

Plus, and I am now under some pressure from Faye (no time even for a wardrobe note) the ghost bus that goes from A to B but without passengers; the Government giving South West Trains a red light over their plans to shut some booking offices; how under-cover market gardening may come to the rescue of the people of Sipson and give BAA a bloody nose over a bigger Heathrow; and hitting you with the rhythm stick that is Ian Dury's bio-musical.
I'd have liked longer but SHE'S off!

But, hey, the Oz is back so all is not bad. In fact it's fair dinkum.

See you at 6

Alastair and Alex.

London Tonight Tonight Monday 12th January 2009

Good afternoon.

Unlike Tom Hanks in "Cast Away", I have not lost my basketball but, like Tom, I have been away a while. I have not grown a beard nor, I hope, have I begun to act strangely but you and others will be the judges of that. It is good to be back and to wish you all a belated yet still heartfelt Happy New Year.
Unless you live close to Heathrow in which case I wish you happy "five days of keeping your fingers tightly crossed". This week sees, according to Harris, the decision on the expansion, or otherwise, of Heathrow Airport. Harris has both a private pilots' license and brilliant political contacts, so I and the Big Boss are content to answer his "Come Fly With Me" invitation on this lead with a loud "Roger, Rog' ".
Harris has flown to Frankfurt, not in anger, but in the interests of seeing how they're expanding their airport. They've built a high-speed train and still manage to produce fine hot-dog sausages among many other things. So we kitted Glen out in a flying suit and goggles, called "Chocks Away", explained we weren't talking sweeties, and now await - with some trepidation - his report on the future of LHR from LHR.

Not Happy New Year but Happy Birthday to the DLR station at Woolwich Arsenal! Why Boris was late for the ribbon-cutting tells you all you need to know about the rest of the overground railway system in this fine metropolis.
The fate of 14 year old Zoe Smith tells you all you need to know about what is wrong with the funding formula for our 2012 Olympic hopefuls. If she was a cyclist, a runner or even possibly, a wiff-waff player, she might have been smiling all the way to precious metal. But she is a weight-lifter and so even her training gym down in Kent is threatened with closure and, with it, her best hopes of doing her best by the rest of us. Lewis tries to figure out the logic of it, as well as why the bar doesn't bend in the middle and crush the lifter when you strap 50kg at either end. Dust those hands, Lewis, and tighten that big belt.

The difference between an arithmetic and a geometric progression explains why it is getting easier to move up the property ladder for first time homeowners. Kirstie will explain it in terms that those of you who are not mathematicians will understand. Or that is what Faye, increasingly beautiful with the onset of motherhood, assured the rest of the team having told me to shut up. (White blouse and black trousers , by the way, and not a "Bloomin' Marvellous" label in sight. Yet.)

"Chandni Chowk to China" is Warner Brothers' new baby - Bollywood out of Chinatown, to borrow terminology from the horse-racing industry. Lucy takes to one of the pavement-mounting, window-entering rickshaws to tell all. Now, I am lost, too. Back to my Hanks-like retreat? No, there's more to be done. Katie has just returned, stating that Regent Street and she do not see eye to eye. She is my idea and ideal of a Bond Street girl so maybe she just took the wrong turning at the Burlington Arcade.
Onward and upward... Oh, no: that's it.

Weather, papers and one final thing - a bit of a promise from a mega star of the movie industry who you met recently and who allowed loose talk to book him a return ticket to our studio for a bit of big time celebration and gloating. It'll make sense at the end of tonight's show and even more in a month or so.

Herself and I will not get in the way of your understanding nor enjoyment at 6. Unless she feels it is time to treat me as a basketball and let me drift off into the Pacific Ocean. Here's hoping not.

Alastair and Katie

Friday 9th Jan 2009

Good Afternoon to you...

Alex is sitting next to me - telling me how funny a new film, 'Bride Wars' looks. Dear, oh dear. Even the title says 'stay at home and watch a documentary'. It's one of the movies we'll be reviewing for your weekend's cinema outing on the programme. Not for me, I think. However, our other film - 'Slumdog Millionaire' is a different story. I never get to see movies before anyone else but I did get to see this last weekend before interviewing the director, Danny Boyle, on Monday. The film, let me tell you, is terrific. And the director, let me tell, is one top chap. What a lovely bloke he was. Hope that came across in our interview.

Actually, it's been a great week for movie guests. On Tuesday, we had a chat with Michael Sheen - aka David Frost - about 'Frost / Nixon' - another top film and another top chap. Actually, I think he may have been a little taken aback by the ferocity of my praise for the film. He was terribly nice about it though.

And, as if we weren't lucky enough to have met those two, we had a screen legend, Sarah Miles, pitching up on Wednesday. And she liked my tie. Wonderful taste, that woman.

Seriously, we get some great big starry old stars on 'London Tonight' and it's a privilege to meet them, it really is. Most of them, that is. No, I'm not going to mention names. But one or two should take a reality check...

Now, tonight's reality check on life in and around the capital begins with a story that is hard to believe. A man with Downs Syndrome is admitted to hospital after a stroke. But no one feeds him. The doctors think the nurses are feeding him through a tube. The nurses haven't been told to. The sad ending to this appalling lack of care - a month after Martin Ryan's admission to the hospital - was Martin Ryan dying of starvation. Because of a breakdown in communication, a man lost his life. And Mencap, the charity that valiantly fights the corner for people with learning difficulties, says that while the consequences aren't always so dreadful, this lack of care for people like Martin is not uncommon.

Then, there's the Surrey teenager, Dan Brennan, who jumped on a quadbike on a Greek holiday, not realising it was way more powerful than he expected, and crashed almost immediately. While he's no longer in a coma, while he's got over many of his injuries, Dan hasn't made a full recovery and now his family has been told they can't sue the quadbike company for compensation, because they've got no money to sue for.

Two stories that make you realise just how lucky you are to have your health.

There are some slightly jollier stories too...

We hear from the Chelmsford snooker player who wants to fly aeroplanes for a living (what you might call a 'top-flight sportsman')... We hear from a Bee Gee about raising LOTS of money for charity in Battersea this evening (less a case of 'How deep is your love?'... more a case of 'How Deep are your Pockets?')... and we hear about two of the stupidest burglars ever to walk God's Earth (front of the queue when it came to greed - back of the queue for brains).

And as it's Friday, we'll run you through what not to miss in our part of the world this weekend.

And that list starts with London Tonight... tonight... at SIX.

Ben & Alex.

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 8th January 2009

Evening,

As if it wasn't hard enough coming back to work after such a lovely Christmas break - it seems our transport network's been working against us - making the journey a complete nightmare for loads of you. First it was the West Coast Mainline, then Euston had that problem, now it's the M25. If you were stuck in a jam on it this morning you know what I'm on about - we'll be checking if traffic's flowing tonight after a lorry smash closed close to 17 miles of the road.

If it's not the roads and the railways, the recession's also taking the shine off this brand spanking New Year. With more and more stores and businesses going bust and closing their doors, thousands of jobs are hanging in the balance. The Prime Minister's trying to reassure us - as is Mayor Boris - that they're doing all they can to help keep the country afloat. We're planning to grill Bozza on just how he's going to do that - and asking him how it feels after getting nabbed by his own system, the congestion charge! Glen Goodman's also out on Recession Road. it's in Kilburn - and that's where we'll be gauging the effect of the "credit crunchiness" on all our lives.

You will have seen over the past few nights our investigation into the rise in illegal dog fighting in the capital - you're response to this has been completely overwhelming - so, tonight Mark Jordan's telling some of your stories of these animals - both horrific and sad.

We're also taking a look at our secret rivers. Faye informs us there's a river called The Fleet running practically right underneath our feet here!! I fancy popping out for an investigation - but luckily Liz Wickham's been out and about so I won't be getting my feet wet... These sweet little rivers are going to be exposed so we can all enjoy them, find out why.

Maybe not quite so sweet is Mickey Rourke - well I've not met him so perhaps Lucy Cotter's the one to ask about that - but I've seen clips of his new movie and his character is definitely not sweet! He plays a wrestler and his performance is being hailed as a stunning comeback. The actor's been in the Hollywood Wilderness (which is different to the Hollywood Hills!) for years but now there's even an Oscar buzz around this movie - even though the man himself says that kind of thing doesn't interest him anymore... Find out what else he's got to say...

We look forward to your company at 6.

Alex & Ben.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 7th January 2009

Hello, Good Afternoon and Welcome to... London Tonight... tonight.

I don't know if you saw yesterday's programme where we interviewed the actor Michael Sheen about his role as David Frost in the new film 'Frost/Nixon'. Well, in the movie (I'm telling you now - it's a belter) Frost says that he never used to say 'Hello, Good Evening and Welcome...'. Apparently, he maintains it was attributed to him by impressionists of the day (much like Michael Caine apparently never said 'And not a lot of people know that' and, indeed, the Childcatcher never said 'I smell children'.) Anyway, Frostie, or Sir Frostie, as he now calls himself does now say 'Hello, Good Evening and Welcome...' I suppose if it worked for Mike Yarwood...

Now, this evening's programme will see another star of stage and screen in the studio. Oscar nominated, BAFTA winning, Sarah Miles will be in the house talking about her return to the West End stage. In her time, she has worked with some of THE biggest names in the business. Should be interesting then.

I'll let you decided whether you think that more or less interesting than our report on Daniel Craig's latest movie. It's set in the Second World War about a group of Jews hiding from the Nazis. It's already getting great reviews - and it's a true story. We know that because we'll hear from one of those who was there. He survived, now lives in London, and will tell us his extraordinary story.

The programme begins with a problem that is as dangerous as it is topical. The cold snap (make that, the very cold snap) has seen a lot of our ponds, lakes, and canals freezing over and some people have been venturing out on to the ice. To see what it's like. Taking their pets sometimes. Even their children. Well, there are those who've been pointing out - 'that way trouble lies'. And possibly even worse. We'll look at that this evening.

We'll also look at the problems on the trains going in and out of Euston. Or rather the trains that should be going in and out of Euston. It's not been a great week for the Euston-using commuters' return to work. We'll hear from one or two of them.

We'll also hear from the parents of Finlay Woods who died when a car mounted the curb and crushed him in his pushchair. He was just 15 months old. The driver was drunk and apparently on the way to hospital after a failed suicide attempt. Not much to be said about that really, the facts tell the story.

If you've been watching the programme this week, you'll have seen the first two parts of Mark Jordan's extraordinary series on dog-fighting in the capital. Tonight we hear about what happens to the dogs handed over to animal rescue centres. Trained for fighting, they have to be 'reconditioned' - but even then, finding these animals a home can be terribly difficult.

Gosh - a bit of a sombre note to end this on - but there's smooth as well as rough in tonight's programme.

It begins at SIX.

Ben & Alex

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 6th January 2009

Afternoon, and Happy New Year and a chilly welcome back to work if it's your first day back, as it is mine...

First on the agenda tonight is our second look at dogs being bred for fighting. It's a terribly sad story, especially for us dog lovers. I can't imagine why anyone would want to see dogs trying to tear each other limb from limb, but they do, and they make a small fortune out of breeding these poor puppies and training them to be brutal fighting machines. What's more, the number of these types of operations being uncovered by the Met is rising all the time.

As well as seeing some truly shocking footage of these poor pups we'll be joined in the studio by a furry friend who'll show us all there is life after such an horrific experience.

Next, Sharon Shoesmith - the ex-head of children's services at Haringey Council - who was running things when Baby P died, is back. She was sacked, but is now appealing against her dismissal and claiming damages. We've been finding out what people in Haringey think about this... And of course will want to know your opinion too..

Also tonight - Phil Bayles is going to fill us in on the end of a boozy era in Mortlake - and Lewis Vaughan Jones is out and about with Mayor Boris who's trying to make our train stations safer.

I'm sure they'll have both wrapped up warm - as we all have today in these teeth-chatteringly freezing temperatures!! It won't have escaped your attention - but hopefully we'll make you feel a bit cosier tonight - not just with our company but with some tips on how to survive the chilly conditions all the way from the Antarctic!

We'll also be warming up the studio (hopefully!) to welcome one of the stars of The Queen and the now the star of Frost/Nixon - Michael Sheen. Ben's seen this movie (lucky thing) and says it's fantastic - you may have caught it on stage in the West End too. We'll be talking to Michael about his starring role in it, and the Oscar buzz around the movie version of Sir David Frost's infamous interview with Richard Nixon.

Do join us - and help keep us warm at 6.

Alex and Ben.

Tuesday 23rd December

Good afternoon

'Tis the season to be cheerful, slightly earlier than you might have thought. Don't panic! You haven't missed a thing nor left anything too late.
As we are not on air tomorrow, we are treating tonight as our Christmas eve', just for you.

So, we will raise your spirits with our variation upon a theme of Charles Dickens. Despite these "Hard times" and the absence of even a "Bleak House", London's homeless found the arm of affection and support offered to them at nine Crisis centres today. The people who run this great charity say more people than ever are helping out and Robin was been warming her hands on the glow of human kindness. We'll also be talking to one of the people from Missing People who, among other things, wants to say thanks for all the 'phones you've sent in. You are a good lot.

But, alas, our's is a "Tale of Two Cities" tonight - shocking figures published today report the number of times Old Bill was called out - not to pub' brawls and bank robberies but to uprisings in the lower fifth and other troubled cauldrons of learning. As the arm of affection (see above) was being stretched out to the homeless, the strong arm of the law was helping place a firm hand upon the shoulders of a rather worrying number of boys and girls who do not consider these to be 'The Best Days of Their Lives': more a cross between "D Day" and "The Battle of The Bulge". We chat to a London Head who used to run the teacher's union and ask why talking at the back has turned to wrestling at the front.

The worthy stage-coach was a vibrant feature of "The Pickwick Papers" and, if you plan to venture north from our fair city this festive season, you arguably might do better in a landau and four than on one of National "not that" Express's trains, among other TOCs. That's Train Operating Companies though the "operating" bit is often the subject of lively debate in my experience. Jon is our 'slender' Controller with all the details to help you complete your plans to stay at home. I miss the flags and whistles of rail travel whilst others have long resigned themselves to the loss of seats. Standing room only for this one.

"Oliver Twist" famously said 'Please Sir, I want some more'. He braved brutality for an extra ladle of gruel but I think you'll all raise the roof this evening in a similar plea when you see Glen at the Ritz getting expert lessons on how to roast THAT festive bird. The stuffing bit had me salivating at lunchtime but what the Head Chef did with the birds "pins" may come as a first to you. It did me...

We're risking an "Old Curiosity Shop" full of our favourite bits from 2008 in the hope you'll see a little of what you fancied in the last year. If we've chosen the right bits, it is down to us; if you don't like them, e-mail me and I will furnish you with the Big Bosses personal address. I jest. He has power of hire and fire over me. I really do jest...

Finally, we have "Great Expectations" that you will be heartened to hear the touching messages from some of our brave lads and lasses, stuck in Iraq and Afghanistan, which we are delighted to be the passing on to their loved ones, missing them back home here in London.

And finally a real "Christmas Carol", or two, to end with, courtesy of the phonically fabulous choir of St. Brides.

We really hope you can be with us. It is a special programme at a special time of year for a special bunch of people, and that's you.

See you at 6 geese a laying - not at 5 gold rings, or you'll be too early; and certainly not at seven swans a swimming or you'll have missed the lot!

Alastair and Katie.

22nd December 2008

Good afternoon.

Three days to go, and counting!

As the Big Boss and I, both proud parents, mused about the durability of the belief in the veracity of the St. Nicholas story for our children, he shared an observation from Max - our "Father Entertainment" figure.

"My kids don't believe any more. " said Max. "An episode of 'Desperate Housewives' blew it ...". Now his children are articulate, perceptive but still quite young. What were they doing watching 'DH', we wondered? Perhaps that is why they are so articulate and perceptive.

A lot of you have put away the myth that we teeter on the brink of an economic cataclysm, the financial equivalent of Krakatoa or any one, or even all, of the Seven Plagues which beset the biblical Egyptians. You have, in the last few days, scorched along Oxford, Bond and Regent Streets like a plague of high-spending locusts, leaving the tills running with cash as the Nile ran with blood. Lewis, who thinks a bunch of daffodils and a white pinny are signs of a generous character, has gone to Oxford Street to investigate.

There he may chance upon Robin, "Chasing The Lady" or buying top-end branded perfume which you and I know to be water with lime-juice but in "nice" packaging. If he gets ALL his shopping done in time, he'll do us a forecast. Otherwise it'll be a map, a fistful of receipts and a distant voice apologising for the cold but the lack of snow.

Efforts to raise the festive spirits in Walthamstow have hit a snag. Not for these good folk the plaintive voice of a Dickensian child seeking a few coopers at your door in return for a whispered "Away in a Manger"; nor, for them, the uplifting and spiritual mystery of mid-night Gregorian chant amidst the incense and purple of my own Church. No, our subjects favour tambourines, drums, massive choirs and a volume that would tempt the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to stay stabled. But others are less warm to this December destroying display of Doh Ray Me's. ASBOS are threatened but, with God on your side, ASBOS are to no avail. I didn't know that either. How will it all resolve itself? Ronke researches a range of Holy texts and recent statutes to discover a way forward. Failing that, it'll be ear-pads and civil unrest at dawn.

The Cafe Royal has seen a good deal of "unrest" in it's colourful past which comes to an abrupt end today. It is in for a face-lift and will emerge as an hotel. Oscar Wilde invented the spritzer here whilst indulging in a range of other activities which we will keep even from Max's kids. Boxers boxed here and more Awards shows than an unsuspecting public should ever have to endure were endured here. Katie remembers a cabaret bar and George Melly. Bet George, now sadly gone, didn't !

Incidently, she has just returned from shopping for Christmas which may put even our shopping story our of date. I feel a bit of retail "pump-priming" that will make the whole cut in VAT and Paulson bank rescue bit look like so much lose change.

Kirstie will review London's property year during which many Englishmen's castle's ended up being worth little more than so much lose change. And we make another bid for your surplus cell-phones to yield what can prove to be a good deal more than lose change for the good people of Missing People as they go about their great works this Christmas.

We've also the terribly sad story of the mother who discovered her son had been murdered by her ex boyfriend. I have left it to last because it is sad but we will report it without fear because life goes on out there. And ends. Sadly.

But we will try to raise your spirits, too.

If, however, Robin offers you Chanel Number "4" or claims he has "found" the lady, walk by on the other side. Trust me. I was educated by the Benedictines.

See you at 6.

Alastair & Katie.

Friday 19th December

G'Day,

When I first moved to London I thought the old routemasters were one of the best ideas.. a bit like the trams in San Fran and Melbourne - jump on and jump off where you like. Made complete sense to me. But, I didn't have to try and get a pram on and off one of the things, so I guess they didn't make complete sense for everyone.. Still, when they were scrapped in 2005 it really was a sad day - not just for the traditionalist - now I have to beg grumpy bus drivers (they're not all grumpy, some do let me on..) to open the doors rather than be able to leap - slightly dangerously - on at the traffic lights and I hate the bendy buses - cycling is not fun near one of them. I digress...The point is they're coming back! Happy Days! And they're going to be better than ever - like Bond cars!

Well, not exactly of course but a design by Aston Martin was one of the winners of the competition to make the new greener, more accessible, hop on hop off double deckers which we could get by 2011.

Bozzer's excited - but some people don't think we need them and it's just a bit of a vanity project - see what you think.. Simon Harris is going to be on an old one and showing us the winning designs for the new one.

I would go out and get on a bus myself but I can't move now I've stuffed myself with mince pies (my own fault) and handfuls of Maltesers (Ben's fault for bringing in a bucket of the evil things). I'm not normally such a pig but you I can't help feeling all festive in the office today - a lot of us off for Christmas after tonight's show. A few people have come back in this afternoon looking more than a little rosy after long lunches and Robin's been humming Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas. I digress again - point is a lot of you are finished today for the festive period too - even though Monday, Tuesday and even Christmas Eve are really work days...Glen Goodman's looking into his snowy crystal ball and asking if London's going to be like a ghost town next week. While Nick Wallis is out on the M25 to see everyone's cars packed with pressies trying to whizz off - but more than likely finding themselves in a load of jams tonight.

The delicious James King is here - I don't know why I just called him delicious - I'm not hungry anymore - anyway - he's talking about Twilight, which I've just been explaining to Ben is going to be an absolutely huge movie thanks in no small part to the gorgeous Robert Pattinson, and The Tale of Despereaux - another gorgeous creature - the animation made entirely here in London.

Big Boss just said something about egg nog - now I have a serious craving!

Ben and I will be with you from 6 (for the last time this year - Al and Katie are with you next week!)

Have a great Christmas - See you in 2009.

Alex and Ben.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 17th December 2008

G'Day,

Woolworths is closing in January - not such a Merry Christmas for the thousands of you employed by them. Not such a Merry Christmas for the million other jobless - some of whom have been without work for over a year. The government says this number is not made up of scroungers, these are people looking for work not just handouts. With jobs being scrapped everywhere from Virgin to Santander to Woolies the latest figures (already trhe worst since 1991) could now spill over to 2 million next year. But, there are apparently a million jobs out there waiting to be filled ...so where are they, why aren't people being matched up with them..? Nick Thatcher's been finding out what you think.

Meanwhile, Bozzer's attempts to save London from financial ruin have earned him this Christmas' "Scrooge" title. Predictable Faye says - but still funny, especially as we all now have an image of him in a scruffy top hat. His ideas for propping up our struggling economy haven't gone down too well at City Hall - Simon Harris tells us why.

Remember how the Millennium Bridge was wobbly - and no one really knew why...? Well, now we know! Big boss greeted this news with a sarcastic "I've been really worried about that for 8 years now" but the rest of us were impressed with Faye's scientific explanation. Glen Goodman's our Johnny Ball tonight - he won't be marching across the bridge to test it out! We shall all be much more the wiser I'm sure.

Lewis Vaughan Jones is back in New York comparing a night on the tiles there to one in our fair city - he really does have a tough life! Find out just how unbiased we are when we pose the question - which is the better city!? I may have a predictable vote for that one too..

Now, I don't usually get all girlie and giggly about celebs - ok, every now and then...Hugh Jackman made me go slightly weak at the knees.. But I think I'm allowed to regress to my teenage years (yes, yes they are quite a long time ago..) when our guest is Jason Donovan. Growing up down under I wanted to be Kylie Minogue (still do obviously but I'm more realistic about fitting into her gold hot pants.) I begged my Mum for a perm and thought that her mechanics overalls really were the height of fashion. I dreamed of marrying Jason with Angry Anderson providing the soundtrack (Neighbours fans know what I'm talking about!). So, the spunky hunk himself joins me and Al in the studio - Merry Christmas to me!

We also get introduced to Despereaux - Faye and I think he's v cute - I'm not sure Al's convinced. Who can fail to be charmed by such a sweet little animated creature. His tail (Faye's joke not mine) gets better too, not only is the movie, starring Matthew Broderick and Robbie Coltrane, hitting cinemas this week, it was also made entirely in London. This kind of project's usually reserved for the animation studios in Hollywood, so it definitely deserves our support. That's my excuse anyway, I just love cartoons really.

Oh - and don't miss Robin - he's got the weather if he's recovered from being upstaged by Britt Eckland's pooch!

We're all here from 6.

Alex and Alastair.

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT

Good Afternoon.
I love the USA. I love it's music. It's cities lend their names to some wonderfully iconic music: Sinatra explaining that "Chicago" is his kind of town; Scott MacKenzie going to "San Francisco" and weaving 'flowers in his hair'; and "New York, New York", by anyone, conjures up the image of the Big Apple within a quaver or two. What do we get? Ralph McTell encouraging us to slash our wrists about the gloom that is "The Streets of London" And who ever penned a memorable melody about Croydon or Barnet? The Kink's "Waterloo Sunset" is as good as it gets, I think.
So it was to New York that we dispatched the naturally tuneful LVJ - he's Welsh, you know - and he came back with a fresh theory about communicable diseases, so virulent that they even cross the Atlantic. Why, he asked, if America sneezes, do we catch a cold... economically? As if to ease his passage, along comes American Bernard Madoff who promptly disappears with $50 billion in a fraud to make the South Sea Bubble look like commercial cheer-leaders to the Great Depression. He has more in the following days but tonight's is worth ever moment you have to spare at 6.
Ken is in charge tonight, de-stressed from the rigours of another weekend supporting West Ham - a point at Stamford Bridge is a point to cherish. He has commissioned a report on the state of play with the London Olympic aquadrome. In Beijing it was a magnificent water cube that lit up the Chimnese sky-line and accommodated even the ego of Michael Phelps and could have made the feet of Ian Thorpe look like "lickle flippers".
Again, and I am not one of life's pessimists, what do we have? Well, according to the very optimistic Ken, a place better suited to mud-wrestling that the four by four hundred metre free-style.
Piers "Mr Speedos" Hopkirk takes the plunge for you. Ladies, avert your gaze but hang on his every word - all of you.
Talking of words, some final words occupy a special place in our folk-lore. In Royal histroy, (and former Buck House press secretary Dicky Arbiter just passed by and said "Hi",) "Bugger Bognor ! " is one of my favourites. The Oz likes "Which way round is this helmet supposed to go?", uttered by Ned Kelly seconds before being felled in a hail of police bullets. He didn't have eyes in the back of his head, where he'd slithered the eye-slits to be, according to the Melbourne Museum of Fine Arts and Dead Gangsters. The celebrated reference to an angel getting its wings every time a bell rings is, of course, the closing tear jerker in a particularly seasonal movie, made many moons ago. The little girl who uttered them is now a grande dame and she joins us in the studio. Got it yet? You will. By the way, it has, over the years, also led to a rather large number of would-be cherubs and seraphim loitering, wingless, outside London's fire stations, only to waft away in celebratory fashion every time a semi or a bungalow goes up in flames. Odd, these Heavenly creatures.
We ring a bell, one more time, for our spelndid mobile phone search in aid of missing people and we hear , one more time, from the weepy wonder who won Saturday's "X Factor Final". Lucy sits with her, clutching the Kleenex. I voted for Lewis Hamilton so am still disappointed. What? A different show? Oh, sorry.
Finally, all the news that's fit to print in our news-belt and the latest on the trial of the family accused of keeping a stampede's worth of horses in conditions that beggar belief. They deny all charges. The RSPCA have some video they think may help the jury decide. It is not an easy ride, I warn you, but it matters so we'll run it.
Papers, if we have time, and certainly some weather from the lovely Chrissie who is coming in in increasingly thick jumpers, longer scarves and now a whole selection of gloves. I fear for communicable diseases but have put a fiver on a white Christmas. The Oz still thinks we're talking the colour of beach-sand, here. She'll learn - lovely, and quick witted - a beaut' combination.
We'll see you at 6 - in hope and not a little expectation.

Alastair and Alex.
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London Tonight Tonight Friday 12th December 2008

Good afternoon.
I won't pretend it isn't an unusual Friday - we've less light hearted frippery for you as a good deal of weighty stuff is playing upon our minds, as it will upon yours.
The idea of a group of men and women, "honest and true", passing judgment on either a fellow citizen or a set of events, is at the heart of our democracy.
I don't know what the jury system in Brazil is like but ours very nearly served the shattered family of a Brazilian citizen well today. I say "very nearly" because the family believed the Police had "unlawfully" killed one of their number. But the Coroner said that was the one verdict the jury couldn't deliver because he didn't believe the Police had committed a "serious crime". Recovering from a sharp intake of breath, the jurors went on about their business and returned an "open" verdict and a series of observations, that will have caused an intake of breath at the Met. The young man was Jean Charles De Menezes and we have the full detail from a dramatic moment where British justice attempted to do well by an innocent young man making a new life in this country, only to fall victim to a cruel death. Marcus is the man with the sad tale of the shooting at Stockwell Tube Station and wrestles with the dilemma of a family seeking solace in justice, incapable of forgiveness, but pondering a new start without their beloved Jean.
To add to your understanding of this tale we have also asked some pretty fundamental questions about the Met's Shoot To Kill policy. The entire Police explanation was based upon the assumption that Jean was in fact Hussein Osman, a suspected bomber on the run at a time only two weeks after the 7/7 killings on London's transport system. But should they have ever been faced with such a ghastly "life or death" dilemma? And if they weren't, how much more dangerous might London be? Tough call but Glen is more than up to it.

The Beatles wrote "It was twenty years ago today..." as the opening line to the opening track of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band. They also wrote "I read the news today" as the opening line of another memorable track on that classic of pop. Well, twenty years ago today I read the news of the Clapham train crash - a wood crunching, life-taking, body-breaking debacle that remained a blot on the reputation of the railway for years. In my view, and that of many, it remains there because some of the key recommendations still haven't been implemented. When the great Andrew Gilligan explains to you one of the reasons for that tardiness you may take to the roads or even a rickshaw in future. It will make your blood both run cold and then boil up in anger.

Anger is not a good emotion and whoever killed a convicted paedophile in his caravan home clearly did it in a state of extreme anger, given the horrid injuries inflicted upon the man. We hear ominous mutterings about "vigilantism" and "mob rule". Sangeeta treads with objective caution through Wandsworth.

Then, "Vivat Regina" as the boys of Westminster College are urged to exclaim at the Coronation of a new Queen. ("Vivat Rex, presumably, if and when Charles or Wills get the job but, given the rude health of the incumbent, I'd go shootin' and fishin' a little longer if I were them). "Vivat Mirren" we say as we welcome one of our finest living actresses to talk about her new movie which is targeted at the kids' market but which will do well, on merit, in any market. Dame H is in talks with the Lady Lucy - I won't take my eyes of either of them, unless the Oz nudges me in affectionate jealousy. I dream.

James King is here ("Vivat Jacobus" - that is right, honest) - to pass judgment on a remake and a re-release - They are called something like "The Day Christmas Stood Still" and "White Earth" I think but I am told them are both brilliant so I'd tune in if I were you to discover what they are really called and how good they really are.
The Oz will mull over What Not To Miss this weekend and it won't only feature strong lager, rugby and Kylie.
Robin is taking bets on very cold but very pretty precipitation this winter solstice.
And Faye, back in charge to let Ken prepare for another nail-biting weekend of what it means to support West Ham, is in tight black trousers, a truly stunning grey wrap top and beige pointy boots. But she is going to a dinner party tonight as The Fattest Lady In The World. I think she will fail but look hilariously beautiful or beautifully hilarious in the effort. That is why I love her.

The Oz and I await your presence before you bounce off for a wonderful weekend. Let us provide you with your passports to paradise, but only after we've shared the serious stuff with you.

Alastair and Alex.

LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT

Good afternoon.
"Just get on the bumper of an Olympic car and, game on!" was Ken's response to our top story. Ken, a life-long West Ham fan and thus an expert in dealing with adversity is in charge today and we are leading on the publication of the map which shows which roads and lanes will be awarded "clearway" status by the 2012 Olympic lot. His Mr Toad outburst caused a titter in our planning meeting but, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Because Mayor Bozza is fast turning into Toad of Toad Hall and subject the the Rats in City Hall will surely shortly implode in a cacophoney ot "Toot-toots" as he careers off yet another road.
One of his key lieutenants, and they are fast becoming few, joins us tonight to discuss what looks like a glimmer of hope on the Mayor's horizon and that of the mullered Met. Slightly fewer of our young-folk are knifing one another and that is a genuine cause for celebration. How they did it, why it has taken so long and how costly it will be to make it stick will be among the isues we will explore with Kit Malthouse.
Childish chortling also broke out when it was confirmed that our special guest tonight, Ms Kate Winslet, had been nominated for two Golden Globes. I know and I am sorry but I am, at heart , a reporter and report I must. Lucy has been chatting to her at titanic length but it is worth every frame.
I am less drawn to The X Factor and the three finalsists who will fight it out for money and glory and a contract with Simon Cowell, come Saturday. Infact there are 6 of them, but four of them are "one" of them, if you follow me. Anyway, Robin has been reading the small print in their would-be contract should they succeed and it shows that if they win and go on to perform in a pub on the planet Pluto, Mr. Cowell will still be in for a slice of the action. Fascinating and what a lesson in life for them all?
There is lots more and the jury at the De Menezes inquest are still looking at their watches so tune in for the above and for a few surprises too.
The Oz and I hope you'll be there because we will be.
Alastair and Alex.
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LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT

G'Day Mates (use of Aussie Slang will become clear..promise).

First on the menu tonight is David Ross. I think the phrase "another one bites the dust" is appropriate here. Boris sure can pick 'em - 4th one of his chosen aides to step down since he became Mayor in May. Mr Ross is a bit of an illusive character and doesn't appear to have spoken on camera as far as we can work out - ever. But Simon Harris will explain why the former Carphone Warehouse director has had to drop out of helping plan London 2012.

Also tonight we meet gorgeous couple James Pegram and Melissa Huggins - they should be planning their wedding but are instead trying to raise cash for a life saving op for Melissa - who has a brain tumor at only 27. Liz Wickham's been to speak to them about their tragic situation.

Andy Townsend's going to be on hand to help me (resident expert) explain to Al why Chelsea fans aren't best pleased and why the most lovably cheerful manager in the Premier League (one Signor Scolari) isn't looking quite so happy lately and why he might be looking even more gloomy after tonight's Champions League match against Cluj.

Those sexy crooners JLS (stands for Jack the Lad Swing in case you didn't know..I didn't even though I am an X Factor addict) caused a bit of a commotion last night. There was a stampede at their gig in Croydon which left 5 of their adoring fans injured - nothing serious but still. Knowing the girls are ok I think the excitement about seeing the lads is clearly a sign of just how big these boys are going to get. But Ken (boss while Faye's out picking up awards and avoiding the champagne) and Al aren't impressed. Apparently there was proper hysteria surrounding the Beatles and the Osmonds. I couldn't possibly comment but Lewis Vaughan Jones has been speaking to other kids who don't remember that either but do think the JLS chaps are worth getting overexcited about.

Last but not least Jim Carrey's in town to promote his new movie Yes Man which is based on a book by London writer Danny Wallace. Lucy's been deployed to track him down..not sure why she's taking the bus with him - surely the pink limo was free..I'm sure we'll find out later.

Now - the use of Aussie slang on my part is to highlight our latest award for Best Regional Television Programme.

The gong's been dished out by the Plain English Campaign - who were clearly judging the presentation before I parked myself next to Alastair on the LT sofa. I fear my slight Aussie twang may damage our chances of winning it in the future - but as Al pointed it out, it is all about him (as most things are!) Methinks the reporters, producers and big eds may have had quite a bit to do with scooping the prize for the second time though (first back in 2005) but we won't tell the main man that. Ken has just held the trophy aloft in the newsroom Oscar style - very impressive - you can glimpse it for yourself ce soir and Al will explain in 'Plain 'English' why we've been so generously recognised.

I'm now going to get the man himself to check this is up to scratch - so Sheilas and Cobbers - catch us on the box at 6pm.

Alex and Alastair.
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