LONDON TONIGHT TONIGHT: Fri 9th May

Good afternoon.

 

The BFG, The Giant Peach and Matilda are among my children's favourite books. (Apart from the oldest who favours Chaucer and Beowolf).The three titles have two things in common: they are brilliant to read aloud to children and they are written by the late great Roald Dahl. His daughter Sophie also went out with Mick Jagger so the old rogue just got it right, time and time again. He also penned a series of brilliant short-stories entitled Tales of the Unexpected, made, you might, recall, into a successful TV series. Were he still alive he might have worked on a plot which involved an Oxford classicist, not averse to appearing, in wildly witting style, on TV panel shows, but who is seriously averse to combing his hair. His hero would then become an MP, get elected Mayor of London against a man who had been London for as long as most might remember and then, and this is the really "unexpected" bit, have a remarkably successful and gaffe-free first week in office.

 

The plot would then thicken when the man who had been London turns up at the first meeting of the new Assembly to keep an eye on our mop-haired hero.

And all of this is observed by the mystery man who has to sit apart from everyone else.

Harris becomes our political and literary critic to make this marvellous synopsis spring to life.

 

Incidentally, what do you give a man who has everything when he drops in from NY to wish you well in doing for London what he does for the Big Apple? Something from Asprey's? The Tate? Fortnum & Mason's? You will be amazed to learn it was none of the above but would guarantee Michael Bloomberg could navigate his way around our great city with informed confidence.

 

Unless he wanted to go to Harrow which is still a bit difficult following the mysterious explosion which killed one man and hospitalised others. There is now talk of bomb experts sniffing around and some interesting suggestions that oddly coloured liquids may have been poured through the letter box of the exploding end of terrace house. A big challenge for the collective wit of the boys in blue.

 

As was bringing safely to a conclusion the siege in Markham Sqaure off the Kings Road. The pieces that have fallen into place are tragic, involving strained relationships, alcohol-abuse and innocent by-standers fearing for their lives. But it is now being reported that barrister Michael Saunders "took" five bullets in the Police effort to end the night-mare. More questions than answers, me thinks.

 

More answers than questions, I hope, from our fabulous show-biz guest, Ms Greta Scacchi -which is neither an Italian pasta nor a curious Roman numeral though, if it were, it would be 301 + (sah). It is pronounced Ska-key which we will endeavor to remember. She's heading for the West End but is also involved in a movie which has chilling echoes of 7/7 and the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes.

She follows James who will tell you why "What happens in Vegas" stays in Vegas - a sort of homily to the dangers of gambling and adultery. Not really but that's what most Americans assume. And Speed Race which, like Ronseal, does what it says on the tin. My youngest will smile and my wife's eyes will glaze over. Hear what Jimbo makes of them at 6.

 

Finally, like the brilliantly well behaved new-boy that he is, Lewis VJ, put his hand up and asked if he could be "excused". Permission granted by the Big Boss, he headed for Gravesend to attend to natures needs only to find that the venue for this perfectly natural bodily function had turned into a work of art and had been moved to central London. Knees held firmly together and with gritted teeth, LVJ will explain all. And wash his hands.

 

I was anxious to present What Not To Miss, not so much for old times sake as for the chance to scale the Olympian heights once more. Alas, I am allergic to Punch and Judy shows so I can't. Thank heavens for Salma's flexibility.

 

I, and one of life's true gentlewomen, crave your attendance at 6.

 

Unless LVJ is still craving an attendant, he'll be there too along with the rest of the team, warm with excitement and enthusiasm to send you on your well informed way to a restful weekend.

 

Alastair & Salma (kind soul, that she is)

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 8th May

Good afternoon.

Two powerful stories top our traditional news agenda: first, the continuing mystery surrounding the tragic death of Mark Saunders: was he shot by the Police or did he shoot himself? And if he was shot by the Police, was that the tragic outcome he himself had intended? Glen continues his trawl of the King's Road community searching for answers.

Then a gas blast in Harrow has left one man dead and many people homeless. The tragedy is not lessened by the fact that many more escaped, but it does bring some relief to the sadness of the dead man's friends and family. It is a story rich in "if only..." and "if I'd been..." stories, including the role Sir Alan Sugar played in one man's lucky escape. The images are extraordinary and show, graphically, just how close this came to being an even greater horror.

The horror of impending blindness may have been lifted for hundreds of elderly people thanks to the genius of the medics at Kings College Hospital. The details may make you wince, a bit, but believe me it is an uplifting and, no pun intended, enlightening piece of journalism. Have I ever lied to you?

Shirley McClain said you can't believe anything a man says if he is drinking, chatting you up or standing for political office. Well, Shirley, in London you may just be wrong. Boris, who said he'd ban booze on the buses also said he'd take a forensic look at how YOUR money is spent in City Hall. Boozed up Oyster carriers dealt with yesterday and, today, that forensic fiscal foray is under way. Hurrah. Harris is our Mr Macawber with the ledgers and he also has news of some more interesting defenestrations from the South Bank Head-lamp.

In the mid-90s, Tony Blair said he'd be "tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime". OK, Shirley, here you may have a point. But eleven years on and his heirs and successors have finally taken the action that the victims think might be a runner. Purging any part of Essex of crime might seem a tall order, but on one housing estate with a particularly troubling track record in boosting the "bad boy stats", the application of ASBOs, coupled with nothing short of a zero-tolerance enforcement of them, seems to have done the trick. The Home Secretary, who is frightened of visiting some of London's kebab houses, obviously has the "munchies" as she wants it rolled out across the land, including the capital. Ben is on patrol, down river on the north bank.

 

Who he chances upon is in the lap of the Gods, but it seems among the least likely is Osama Bin Laden, officer commanding Al Qaeda. That, in an odd way, is good news for our showbiz guest tonight who has just released a movie entitled "Where in The World is Osama Bin Laden?" Were Ben to say "Basildon!" it might reduce the advance sales for the film ,so Mr Spurlock has much to celebrate and discuss and will, we are sure, amuse. Think Michael Moore with a thing about burgers and you're on the right track.

On her way to the roof, as I write, is Chrissie - clad, I hope in a sensible long-sleeved T-shirt and drenched in factor 30. No, I am not odd - it was her advice yesterday when she predicted strong sunshine, so we will see if she is a woman of her word - or words.

Katie has left some of her salad, I notice: it is that hot.

Faye has given the satin-seamed evening dress trousers another outing but has a cool, in both senses of the word, top on. They are both, as I have always said, hot.

I might, just might, dispense with the tie... it's nearly Friday.

See you at 6 - I'd recommend light cotton, a cool drink and flip-flops, but it is really up to you.

Alastair & Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 7th May

Good afternoon.

Mark Saunders was a bright and popular barrister. He was married to Elizabeth and they lived in an expensive flat in London's smart and fashionable Kings Road area.

Today he is dead following a dramatic siege, prompted by him taking pot-shots from the flat which drew an armed Police unit from the Met.

It ended with Mark dead from gunshot wounds but, as yet, we don't know whether he shot himself or if the Police shot him. The Independent Police Complaints Commission are investigating. It's just the start of a tragic mystery.

What went wrong with this successful and promising life? Why did his wife run, crying, from the flat? Why, as one of his final acts, did he throw a cardboard box from the window having scrawled on it, in black ink, "I love my wife dearly xxx" ? We are all trying to find out as much as possible and Glen will pull it together for you at 6.

There's a lot more news besides that sad tale.

The closure of umpteen post offices despite the fact that the locals don't want them closed.

The shock of a politician doing what he promised to do as Boris bans booze on the buses, less than a week into the job.

And a competition to chose a piece of sculpture we can all feel as proud of as the good people of the North East do about their Angel of the North.

Mr. Waterman was proud to answer his daughter's request for a "pirate" themed party and topped off his plans by running the Jolly Roger up a make-shift flag pole at their home in Surrey. We all do balloons and even string letters spelling out HAPPY BIRTHDAY but a flag? Fab. Cue, then, the tedious officials at the Council who managed to quote legislation which says it's OK if it's a Union Jack or a St. George's flag, but a Jolly Roger is against the law. "Take it down or we'll fine you!" they said. In true pirate tradition Mr Waterman told them to "walk the plank" and some of his neighbours donned black eye patches and "Yo Ho Ho-ed" in support.

Then it started to get a bit nasty. We'll talk to Black Jack Waterman and his doughty daughter, live at 6.

 

She may be a fan of Take That, for all I know: my daughter is. Anyway, Take That aren't fans of the musical which opens tonight in a "Mamma Mia/We Will Rock You" sort of celebration of their music. I think Gary's accountants and probably Chancellor Alistair Darling will quite like it, but I am just a touch mercenary about these things. Lucy loiters with intent at the theatre.

So will it be from tragedy to triumph or tragedy.... to tragedy?

You'll just have to be there at 6 to find out and to fully understand what I am getting at.

Alastair & Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight Test

 

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London Tonight Tonight: Fri 11th April

Good afternoon and what a lovely one it is. Saturday is just around the corner so we are determined to nudge you towards a state of informed and entertained contentment.... unless you are traveling to or, indeed, from Liverpool Street Station when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is directly south of it. If you are, you may live to regret it. I can't tell you more save to say the Big Boss is a fan of Rick Astley, knows all the words to "Never Going to Give you up" and is quite fond of East Anglia. These are all relevant factors and he seems to know a troubling amount about what is a foot.

What is not a foot is a prompt and efficient move of flights from T4 to T5. Personally, I like both of the premier BA termini but what I like even more is knowing from which one I am flying. Get that wrong, and you really can get your Karachi's in a twist: it could take almost as long to get from T5 - "Sorry, Sir: did you not see out announcement?" - to T4 - "I am so sorry, Sir - it has gone but there is another.... tomorrow". Lewis (no more Welsh jokes and certainly no flights to Cardiff, Swansea or even Llandudno) is there to add to BA's woes -The World's Favourite Punchbag.

Flip Wilson is a great black American stand-up -come to think of it, he may be dead but, hey, humour is fickle: a great one-liner from him to an airline worker: "If you can fly that jet at 500 miles an hour in the dark and find Los Angeles, you CAN find my bags!"

If bags and suitcases could shout and shout as loudly as Brian Blessed, surely they would all be re-united with their owners. Alas they can't and we shall ask Brian why this might be so as he comes in to chat, at several hundred decibels, about his new role as the latest narrator of Prokofiev's wonderful Peter and Wolf. He climbs mountains, too and was rather good in Black Adder the First. I like him even if he gives me a head-ache.

Nursing the mother of all soccer head-aches is the brilliantly led and impressively staffed Arsenal who despite the magic of the Emirates are having a season to forget. Man U loom large at the great despoilers on Sunday and Paxo, as we call him, will assess just how stuffed the Gooners are. He knows his onions and is really rather sage.

As is James on movies - we've a shocker from Spain the Big Boss, currently being distracted by the impishly elegant though clearly bored Faye, won't let us show you! It is that horrific! I fear for James' sanity at this exposure. And he looks at Leatherheads, not a plurality of county towns in Surrey but gorgeous George's latest offering which Lucy nearly got round to discussing with the Great Man himself when she wasn't asking for his hand in marriage. I'd call her a trollop did I not know her to be a woman of genuine and far from easy virtue. We have sent her to talk to Kevin Spacey tonight about black jack: not some dodgy friend of Spacey's but another name for "vingt et un" , my favourite casino game and the theme in his new movie "21".

We've all the news you could want including the void that is the whereabouts of poor Mark Speight - we all really hope he is OK but, like his friends and family, grow fearful. The latest with Phil.

A quick flash of weather from Chrissie and a crumpling of front pages from us then get packing for the weekend after you've luxuriated with us from 6.

Hope you're there.

Alastair and Romilly.... (I got rid of Salma - she is in Hastings, thinking she is on special assignment for an extended What Not To Miss! Foolish yet charming woman....)

London Tonight Tonight: Thursday 10th April

Good afternoon.

How we laughed when BA and BAA asked hundreds of actors to pretend to be travellers and pretend to be going to Hong Kong or Honolulu. We chortled when we saw thousands of suitcases being tagged and dispatched when we knew there were no trunks, no clean pants and no spare shoes in any of them. But the smiles were wiped off our faces when BA and BAA bleated that it has all been a terribly successful exercise, that we should grow-up and acknowledge what sensible planners they were. OK. Fair point.

So what went wrong when T5 opened, then, hey??? We can let you into a really dreadful secret at 6. You will be amazed, angered and may find it even more difficult to trust some people in the future, even if trust in them had become as elusive as tens of thousands of suitcases now languishing in Milan, Heathrow and Never Never Land rather than in their owners' homes.

d4. d5. Nf3 c5. c4 e6. e3 Nf6. Bd3 Nc6. O-O Bd6. b3 O-O. Bb2 b6. Nbd2 Bb7. Rc1 Qe7 cxd5.... then you thump him.

Complex, I concede but this sequence sums up what the Big Boss has just described to me as his favourite story of the month. Put it this way, if you think Boris Spaski meets Barry McGuigan or Cassius Clay floors Sonny Liston, after some cerebral exertion, eitherr way you'll be on the right track. Honest, it is worth making the effort to check it out at six with grandmaster Phil.

Grandmasters all of the battle to be Mayor are the three leading candidates. Having "a good face for radio" is one of the cruelest things that can be said of people who aspire to be on television and I would not say it of any of them but they all went on the radio this morning to debate "who is the fairest of them all" in a political and leadership sort of way. I'll be hosting a similar TV exercise in a couple of weeks but they were really rather interesting this morning when no-one was watching (except us on your behalf) and several hundred thousand of you were listening. Watch what you missed seeing at 6 with Harris, a grand-master of all he touches.

Sian Berry the Green candidate wasn't on the radio this morning and is much better looking than all of them and, if I may say, talks as much if not even more good sense on some issues than any of them. She joins us in the studio.

Grand-master of all British tourist attractions is Big Ben; but it isn't really. The Tower, and the Palace the Tower tops off so beautifully at the north end, are the attractions. Big Ben is the bell. And it is a very old bell. 150 years old today and we go back to the maternity unit for all Great Bells in Whitechapel to say happy Birthday Ben. Damien has the bubbly. (Ironically, and allegedly, it might not have made 150 if the 7/7 bombers had had their complete way. It's been suggested that their targets included not only this top attraction but a list of runners up. Chilling thought. Only allegations in court but we can report it and you'll want us to so we will.)

Kate Hudson will be sipping the bubbly too as she celebrates her latest premiere tonight. Lucy will be looking for George Clooney in the crowd and talking to Kate, who may well know George.

I think the George thing is wearing thin but Lucy says she may never wash her hands again. Or scrub her cheeks - he does that french greeting rather elegantly I am told. My daughter is the same having met Jenson Button last weekend.

It is becoming unhygenic.

Papers and weather to take your minds off that troubling thought and the Peoples Millions to help you all fulfill your dreams.

 

See you at six.

Alastair and Katie.

 

 

London Tonight Tonight: Weds 9th April

Good afternoon from the newsroom to which we returned after being Camilla-ed and Kid Co-ed yesterday. Hope you felt as good about it as we did.

So, odd to say, sandwiched by two youth-murder trial verdicts and sentencing, we look at what one council is doing to stop kids buying knives which they do not intend to use for whittling or any other aspect of scouting. Ronke has a shocker but at least someone is trying.

Then Lucy is all a-glow, Harris is being seriously numerate, Nick somewhat disbelieving and all of us deeply saddened.

In reverse order, the collective sadness is at the news of Gloria Taylor's death. Damilola's parents were never publicity seekers: she was quiet to the point of being self-effacing. He, Richard, is a giant of man both physically and morally. They bore their loss, anger and disbelief with a towering integrity leaving us to do all the pushing and shoving. Sadly, whilst out for a walk with her husband, she had a heart attack and, a few hours later, died. The sense of loss over Damilola never left them, and now Richard has to bear a double dose of it. We'll pay a little tribute to a remarkable woman at the end of the show.

Nick's disbelief is based upon the unlikely physics of roller-blading and the utterly impossible physiology of a 71 year old being rather skillfully addicted to it. He has just said "it's a bit like watching Jimmy Saville on speed". Please don't let that put you off.

Harris's numeracy involves an abacus, a trade union, a former Labour MP, a Mayor of London and a 1% lead for someone which has shocked several players in this piece of political theatre. He loves it and has even been seen smiling - though that may have been the tea-trolley effect.

Finally Lucy met George and is happy. Not Star Wars' George Lucas; not George of George and Mildred infamy. George Best, George Formby and George Harrison, tragically, would have been impossible; suffice to say, she is the envy of virtually every woman in the newsroom and , I think truth to tell, not a few of the chaps. I think he was best as Ed Murrow, others favour the Ocean's series. Tune in and be titillated to your own conclusion.

Weather, papers and a cold shower would seem to be the only way to end all of this.

See you at 6

Alastair and Katie.

 

 

 

London Tonight Tonight: Friday April 4th

Hello everyone.

Well, it's the Grand National tomorrow and, as always, one of our programme editors has organised a sweepstake. 'Great' I thought... RIGHT up to the point I pulled the name of my horse out of the pot. Now, I'm not saying it's a 'no-hoper' but I don't think he'll be troubling the chap who engraves the name on the winner's trophy TOO much...

Am I downhearted? YES, frankly - I never ruddy well win anything on the Grand National. And now this donkey appears to have scuppered my chances before the jockeys have even put their trousers on. And let's face it - it's not the taking part that counts (would you want to jump over Beechers Brook?), it's the winning that matters.

Anyway - let's move on... before I'm told the blessed nag has pulled out with a head cold. (Salma's sulking because she didn't take part and all the horses have gone now. I'm just glad she's not got a better horse than me. I wouldn't hear the end of it all afternoon.)

The programme starts tonight with one of those real-life stories that may bring you out in a cold sweat. Getting trapped on the underground... It happened last night - people stuck in stuffy carriages on NINE trains - going nowhere on the Jubilee Line - for up to THREE HOURS. We've got some extraordinary 'commuter-cam' footage of the LONG walk to freedom and we've been speaking to people who were there...

When Arsenal moved home to the Emirates, there were a lot of fans who went 'whoopee' and, ever since, have loved going there to see the Gunner's home games. However... some of the local businesses - who've been working under the nearby rail arches for yonks - say they're now being forced out. Who says so? Why? Lots of sides to row. We've covered all of them.

Now then, Ken. Ken, Ken, Ken... so he's got 5 children by three different women. "Shock! Horror!"... or "Shock? Horror?" The fact is that it's NOT that unusual. Should we judge the Mayor differently to the way others are judged? Does it matter? Could... HANG ON, HANG ON... Isn't the big question here - WHY are we finding out NOW, just weeks before the election? And who leaked it? Why? Well, those are the questions we'll be asking this evening.

And it's the Olympic Torch Parade this weekend. Famous people will be carrying on a relay through the streets of London - as parts of a world tour. However, events in China mean there could be a spot of bother, requiring a BIG police presence. We'll be reporting on that.

Plus there are a couple of new movies for Mr King to review... AND there's our weekend guide in 'What not to Miss' and... oh, just join us SIX and find out.

Ben & Salma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 3rd April

Good afternoon.

Quilled creatures, especially hedgehogs, are a source of endless witty banter normally concerning the amorous side of their lives. There's also a good joke about the difference between hedgehogs and Parliament but, remembering the time of day, I'll keep that one to myself.
My favourite, which can be shared, is "How do hedgehogs make love?". And the answer is, as it was when I was at school and is now,  "Carefully". 

Chrissie tells you why the answer might also be "Early"... She is among the flirtatious tiggie-winkles at 6.

Do you flirt on the Tube? Ever been tempted? Ever done it, innocently? You may have been watched and analysed. And the man who may have been watching you reveals to Vaughan, for whom a ride on the London Underground was a real treat as they don't yet have them in Wales, how you can 'pull' like you have never 'pulled' before. Or not.

Pulling closer to Boris, but in a sephological rather than flirtatious way, is Ken Livingstone. How much closer? Put it this way, Boris is blushing. Harris, as always, is our man with the abacus.
Give ear to our little explainer about the People's Millions and you and your favourite charity may need to borrow Harris's abacus to count up to 50,000 - in crispy one-ers.

If Peter Woodhams' family applied they might chose Victim Support as their charity - they certainly need it. Despite warnings to the Police about previous assaults, Peter was fatally attacked. An Independent Enquiry has torn the Met to shreds over how they handled it all, and, cascading salt into the Woodhams' wounds, the criticised cops are back on the beat. Beats me, too. If sense can be made of it, Ronke will.

Finally two stories from my addled brain inside my aching head, now covered with less hair than yesterday having had a more successful journey to my barber in Jermyn Street today. Maybe it was the driver, after all...

Anyway, I digress.
I love National Hunt racing and I adore the Grand National. Women compete but men always take the honours - white men and, more often than not, Irish white men.
So, to see a young black guy from London seeking honours at Aintree is a real joy for me on so many levels. I'll have a fiver on him just out of celebration. And if he wins, I'll nominate him for Sainthood. Phil makes a fine stable lad.

Then there's Son of Rambow about which I know nothing. Although, the lead-in written by Faye, looking well short of the total of years she finally admitted to at the weekend, suggests it is ALL we are talking about.
It is a retro-youth-fest, an hommage to the Eighties. I will be with you on the learning curve at 6 when we introduce the stars to you, having first had them introduced to us. Katie probably knows them and knows all about it, but she is currently talking classical music on the other side of town, elegant polymath that she is, so I can't be sure.

But, hey, am I lucky or not?

 

Alastair for, and on behalf of, Katie.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 2nd April

Good afternoon.
It is a story that divides the nation: not in the sense that some of you don't care about it whilst others are close to being up in arms about same. No, it is whether you are in the age group that remembers Bernard Cribbins singing "There I was, digging this hole.." or the gang who remember the Fab Four wailing on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band about the number of holes found in Blackburn.
Potholes are a scourge and we find them, examine them but fail to fill them in. There are more than you think and they are more dangerous than many of you will believe.  Lewis ,slowly losing his Welsh accent, dons wellies and picks up his pick and shovel just for you. And he puts his bike to unexpectedly good use, too.
Meanwhile, Mike Pearse reports on one of the biggest holes I have ever seen in one of the most inappropriate places possible. From childhood, I have loved the Devil's Punchbowl outside Hindhead. To ease traffic and force people to miss a glimpse of stunning rural England, they are burrowing underneath it. It'll do the job from a motorists point of view but at what a cost?
My own view is that we should be leading the programme tonight with why a taxi, that left Grays Inn Road heading for Jermyn Street, should, without a pothole in sight, take half an hour to get to Fleet Street? I gave up and I give up with London traffic.

Linda Bowman must be tempted to give up: her beautiful daughter was murdered and obscenely abused yards from her home. The man convicted of the brutality is to appeal. She tells us, in no uncertain terms, how she feels about it.

We all feel, strongly, that Arsenal should beat Liverpool and that Chelsea should beat Fenerbache: in both cases because the opposition aren't from London and in the second case because we don't enjoy wrestling with the name of the Turkish side. Estelle will preview a great night of soccer as we wish the Blues and the Gooners every success in dumping the opposition.

Dumping at Mucking Lane in Essex is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy - you couldn't "re-cycle" at Mucking Lane, could you? It has to be "dumping". But no more! A magic wand has wafted away the odour by changing the purpose of the eponymous pit - mystery revealed at 6 by the ever fragrant Chrissie.

Les Dennis is in the studio - he has written his life story: we asked a hundred people how they felt about Les and we will share the findings at 6.... with you if not with Les.
There's lots more news, as well, but if I told you what, it wouldn't still be news, would it?

Hope you can join us, fresh as daisies and raring to go.

Alastair & Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 1st April

Hello there!

I know you were probably looking forward to your daily musings from Alastair, but he went off on a secret mission this afternoon, leaving me in charge. It's mine, all mine! Ah, the power.

Sadly however, any prospect of a lengthy think piece from yours truly has been thwarted by the fact that in 4 minutes I'm due to go into the studio and do some work. Shame. So let me tell you briefly what we've in store for you at 6.

 

We've a  horror story of blood, sweat and tears in the NHS. And unfortunately I'm talking about real blood, and real sweat. Our viewer, in hospital to have rather a serious heart operation, was so appalled by the filth around him that he took photos and they don't make for pretty viewing, I'm afraid ... We name and shame, and hopefully THAT might improve things.

 

You may have seen the picture in the paper today of Labour's dear Deputy Leader, Ms Harriet Harman, sporting a fetching stab vest as she tours the streets of her constituency in Peckham. Not her usual work wear ... but perhaps a rather insensitive photo opportunity with her local bobbies. What do you think it says about street crime in South London though? Piers has been out and about to ask you.

 

We've another whistle blower .. this time a brave pizza restaurant manager, who decided to speak out about tips going to the bosses rather than to the workers.. and lost his job in the process. Now the unions are backing him .. and we take up the good fight.

Plus a tragic tale of a little girl who's suffering from a very rare form of cancer, and her amazing parents who are raising money to save her..

Oh and I almost forgot the bouffant and marvellous Melvyn Bragg in the studio too..

 

See you at 6!

 

Katie and Al

London Tonight Tonight: Monday 31st March

Good afternoon - a fresh week on London Tonight: all new and seeking a place in your hearts and then your memories.

 

 

Keith Richards, of the Rolling Stones, is threatening to write his autobiography but admitted to several newspapers at the weekend that he finds the events of yesterday a challenge to recall. He could do worse than stroll down to the Hard Rock Cafe in Piccadilly and visit their fine collection of rock and roll memorabilia as Nick has done for you. They want "museum" status and if the inspectors came to make their final judgement at the same time as Keef wandered in, that would surely clinch it.

 

 

Might second preference votes clinch the Mayoralty for Ken? He has long hinted to friends that he thinks Boris might get it on first preferences but that he, himself, will steal it on "seconds".  Our poll, conducted with those fine people at the Evening Standard, will make mouth-watering reading for the two leading candidates but as to who will smile widest, you'll have to give ear to Harris at 6.

 

Should you have a fine cause in need of some of the lottery's dosh, you will also have to give ear at 6 and discover how we might be able to help.

 

We also have help on property and that ever present problem of an opening pitch price. If you are selling in a falling market, just where do you aim and to whom do you listen? Louisa has been mulling it all over and reflects, in our company and yours, at 6.

 

Finally, we reflect upon what was and what might have been when an executive jet ploughed into a cul-de-sac in Kent at the weekend.

 

A sad tale of bravery, achievement, promise and one of eternal luck for some and a fatal lack of it for others. We now know who everyone on board was and their stories are the stuff of legend. We will satisfy your need to know but I think leave with a sense of real loss, as well.

 

All the rest of the usual component parts will be there too - I suspect the story of the Farnborough crash will make it to the museum of your memories but who knows.

 

You be the judge at 6.

 

 

Alastair and Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight: 28th March 2008

Good afternoon.

Unless any of them are flying into Heathrow's T5, we have the promise of a remarkable line up of guests this evening for you.

Westlife would, I imagine, be loyal nationalists and fly Aer Lingus anyway so they should arrive safely at T1, or Gatwick, and Lucy will be there to greet them ahead of their Wembley gigs this weekend.

Ade Edmondson has probably been banned by a range of airlines for his Young Ones behaviour and certainly Bottom performances. He, I predict, will come by train and, subject to yesterdays' postponement of industrial action staying firmly in the lost luggage box of threats, he'll be with us to talk about his new and very promising ITV sitcom.

James is frightened of flying so he'll be with us to give an expert's view of 27 Dresses, which is about the wardrobe of a magpie-esque perpetual bridesmaid, and The Hottie and the Nottie which "stars" Paris Hilton but not in a way that has you searching the internet at strange times of the night.

So, chocs away for a bumper package of entertainment as a spring board to a successful opening of your weekend.

BA and BAA are still waiting for a successful opening of their new T5. If there were an organisation called the British Association of Angry Air-passengers it would begin to sound like a crescendo of angry sheep, wouldn't it? BA, BAA, BAAA.....

I've just been told Lewis Vaughan Jones, who is from Wales but has wisely defected to London, will tell you all you need to know about the Boat Race from... a small rowing boat, on the Thames. I thought all you needed to know about that bizarrely one dimensional sporting event was that it involved two teams and Oxford normally won: perhaps I am missing something.

Ken may be missing something in his timing as he launches his crime manifesto, promising a 6% reduction in crime as we report on the death of two more London teenagers. Perhaps he is saving his solutions for a third term?

Theft is a crime as is impersonation so I end by warning you Salma will, yet again, offer you her increasingly elaborate What Not To Miss in full knowledge that it should have been my turn. Trying to pretend that she didn't seize upon my unfortunate need to visit my physiotherapist at lunchtime to tell the Big Boss that she was me, cuts no ice. I am the injured party, now in two ways.

I feel defiled but you will feel informed so you probably won't care.

I will join her, if I can force myself to mix in such sordid company, at 6.

Hope you can bare the tension to be with us.

Alastair and That Woman.

 

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 27th March

Hello and good afternoon.

 

It was meant to be the grand opening of Heathrow's Terminal 5... Let's just say it hasn't gone quite according to plan! As I write this, things are getting worse too with rumours of mechanical breakdowns on the baggage carousels.
The British Airports' Authority will be telling Alastair (who's there by the way, which is why he's not here - obviously!) that it's all just teething problems and it WILL get better for passengers. But what went wrong in the first place? Well hopefully we can find out. In the meantime, there are some pretty irate customers at T5, with lost luggage, delays and cancellations.

We take a look around and talk to the most important people down there... Including Gordon Ramsay who's opened a very fine eatery for your delectation should you have a spare five minutes once you've found your missing bags!

 

 

That plus the other top stories in London Tonight, including our homegrown talent going stellar in the States. Leona Lewis is breaking records left, right and centre.

 

It's all jam packed in, and Al and Romilly will be here to bring it to you.

 

Sorry it's so short... I prefer "small but perfectly formed" myself.

 

See you at six,

 

Faye the Programme Editor

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 26th March

Good afternoon.

 

I am so sorry this is a little late but Katie isn't well and I was at a lunch which over-ran - more of a high-tea, in the end- Faye has had tea thrown across her work-station and Romilly, who I am thrilled has stepped into the breach, is racing to catch up. What a piece of work are we are? How devoid of reason? How infinite in chaos.... enough Shakespeare monque and on with the show.

The Big Boss is threatening to fingerprint us all so he knows where we have been. I said bleeps would be better and he seemed cross I hadn't got his joke.
No jokes as all passengers passing through T5 from tomorrow's opening to the public  were threatened with having to offer up their dabs. An invasion of privacy, say some; an additional time worry, say others; a damn good idea if it stops people blowing up my holiday flight, say the rest. Phil tests all arguments to destruction.

Fingerprints weren't really helpful when a little boy was left in a doorway at the weekend, speaking only Punjabi and as lost as any needle in any haystack. A woman says she is his mum but the mystery remains and at so many levels. Robin will have you gripping your seats and, so, covering them in fingerprints.

 

The unique fleshy ID of multinational capitalism would seem, according to a man who texted me, to be all over a take-over of GP surgeries in Camden. Karl Marx or Kildare,  new signing Vaughan Jones does the dialectical analysis  for you.

We've a black comedy causing the horrors all over the place and we've set Chrissie amongst the pigeons, and other feathered friends, because we know it terrifies her and that seems to amuse the cruel amongst you. I just enjoy seeing the gorgeous glaze that comes over her eyes. Odd, but it does it for me.

I think I better stop there, for so many reasons.
I need low tea now, and chocolate.

See you at 6 unless Carla Bruni invites me to the Embassy. Same eyes as Chrissie, you know.
The French are in town! Stay in and watch TV with us.

Alastair & Romilly

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 25th March

Good evening gang...

My presenters are dispersed far and wide AGAIN tonight. This time it is of my own doing though, so I can't really complain.
Al's been paying a very special lady a visit this afternoon. You'll just have to tune in at six to see what he's been up to... It's truly uplifting I can promise you that.

 

In the meantime the news is a lot less heartwarming. Despite their protestations that it would NOT happen again, the powers that be at Network Rail are facing some tough questions tonight. You see, commuters into Liverpool Street have had to contend with massive delays and cancellations today, and you can probably guess why? According to National Express, the rail provider on the line, it was because of overrunning engineering works.
Network Rail are denying that, but it's lit the touch paper and you, the rail passengers, are far from impressed.

 

In other things, the Met admits it's going to have to use a ring of steel to protect the Olympic torch relay when it comes to the capital. Free Tibet campaigners say they WILL attempt to disrupt its journey, so what can the police do when it will have to travel through 10 London boroughs to make it to its final destination? Piers finds out.

 

Talking of final destinations... worried about where you're going to lay your hat at night? Well, according to the mortgage watchers, the number of deals on the market is dropping all the time, and the days of the 100% loan are ancient history. So Louisa is here to tell you how YOU can get a mortgage if you're just starting out, and what to look for to get the best deal you can.

 

Add to that the row that's reached fever pitch over the pre-teen wesbite www.missbimbo.com. It's aimed at girls as young as 9, and according to one expert we're talking to tonight, it encourages them to starve themselves and even consider plastic surgery - at the age of NINE!...

 

Providing of course that the trains allow for it, Salma and Alastair WILL be here to debate the rights and wrongs of it all at 6.
Fingers crossed anyway...

 

See you then.

Faye the Programme Editor

 

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 20th March

Hello there...

The talent has wandered off again - I'm starting to wonder if I should take my presenters' dalliances elsewhere as a personal affront! For now I suppose, I shall just have to service your needs with my own witty repartee.
There's a worry for you...

Yes it's the Programme Editor again. Alastair is rather busy - interviewing the Prime Minister no less - and Katie is rather busy recording the radio programme that entertains thousands of fans.

So, what do me, myself and I have for you on London Tonight?

 

Well, Alastair will bring you that conversation with the Prime Minister where he backs his man for Mayor. Who's his man, we hear you ask? Why, Red Ken of course. That stalwart Labour activist expelled from the party, only to be welcomed back with open arms by Gordon Brown's predecessor. And if Gordon gets his way, Ken will have served more years in office than his nemesis Mr Blair. A sort of fabulous irony about that isn't there? Anyway, Al I'm sure will be giving them both a bit of a grilling.

 

There's also the nightmare that is travel in London this Easter weekend. If you're still at home - maybe you're delaying your journey until after the rush, or you're avoiding it altogether staying well and truly put. We'll have the latest on all the disruption out there, so you stay-at-home folks can just bask in smuggery.

 

Then there's the lady who had her bottom bit by a rat! Yes, really.

And Sir Ian McKellen starring in a pop video...

 

Plus some inspirational young chaps who, 5 years after the war in Iraq began, are rebuilding their lives torn apart by it. They really are incredible young heroes, and I don't use the word lightly.

Add to that the stars making gushing acceptance speeches at the Capital Awards, and a taster of the best of the Easter weekend entertainment if you ARE sticking within the M25...

 

It's going to be great... Psst... Has anyone seen my presenters?

 

Faye, the Programme Editor.

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 19th January - sorry we're late!

Dear One and all...

How are we?

If it's not been a good day, think of it like this: Today is Wednesday but it's sort of Thursday at the same time. Because (bear with us here) tomorrow is Thursday but it may as well be Friday... obviously. Well, Friday's not just Friday this week, is it? It's 'Good Friday'. Or 'Great Friday', if you've got the day off. Get it? Not the day off - the whole 'one day is another day' thing.... Shall we move on?

The programme goes to air tonight while MPs decide the future of hundreds of London post offices. 171 are in line for the chop if the Post Office gets it way.
We'll be featuring the fate of two of them. One in Highgate has a champion in the form of Victoria Wood battling to keep it's doors open... while the manager at another one in Woolwich says 'too late - we're stuffed. Close me down'. We've been talking to both of them.

The mother and the father of a lad found murdered in his home last week have also been talking today... telling their heartbreaking and sometimes petrifying story.

 

Plus we'll have the stories of a schoolboy-turned Hollywood hunk and the lead singer of one of America's all time great rock bands... and a borough full of lollipop men and ladies without their lollipops.
 
Find out more at six,

Ben & Katie

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 18th March

Good afternoon.
Despite having had the physics of flight explained to me several times, I still gaze in disbelief at big jets soaring into the sky. They shouldn't, logically, but they do, consistently. And today, the biggest of them, the Airbus A380, cast a great shadow over London as it swept, majestically, into Heathrow airport ahead of the first scheduled flights. "It was blooming early!" roared Faye, not unlike an RB 211, Rolls Royce ramjet. "They often are", the rest of us observed in a harmony the Red Arrows aerobatic team would have been proud of. "Never when I am on board", she hit back.
This can only prove that the jet-stream has underplayed it's hand recently between here and the Caribbean and here and the Alps. She gets around, our Faye, but seldom arrives early. I think that's because she knows we'd all wait for her, especially when she is wearing  open toe sandals on a chilly day like today.

 

Aviation of another sort may have saved lives in an otherwise open and closed tragedy. Marcus explains how a Police helicopter may have stopped a policeman from shooting the rest of his family. It is a strange story.

 

Showing little signs, yet, of lift-off is Ken's campaign to get re-elected. His "Red Baron" seems firmly in the sights of the guns of Boris "Biggles" Johnson. (Captain W.E.Johns wrote the Biggles book so my casting of  Boris is better than you might have thought!) Harris cries "Chocks away!"

 

Pop stars seem to make a habit of dying in plane crashes - Buddy Holly, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ritchie Valens, the Big Bopper and not Elvis Presley, who died on the loo. I am pleased to have been told that Frankie Valli didn't die in a plane crash either, as I feared: In fact, he "so didn't", to quote Faye again, that he is on the Red Carpet tonight with Lucy in Leicester Square as The Jersey Boys premieres. 

 

Also premiering tonight is this year's People Millions when we give you, or some of you, lots of dosh. It doesn't have to be a pet cemetery though that did help two years ago. Ducklings feature tonight so I , for one, will be glued as Glen dons his yellow all-in-one and says "quack quack".

He is, of course, free to say what he wants.

Unlike coroners, if the Government has it's way. They are especially cross with the Oxfordshire coroner who has an irritating habit of pointing out that British soldiers might fare better in Iraq if they had the right equipment. The dad of the late Captain James Phillipson rather wants the good coroner to keep bellowing, and he'll tell you why.

You'll hear a pin drop, I suspect.

But hopefully not an aircraft.

"Premium class passengers board first, please!" Hey, that's you....

 

See you at six.

 

Alastair and Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight Monday 17th March

Hello everybody.
Alastair and Katie will be with you tonight but I've got them working so hard this afternoon you'll have to put up with me I'm afraid.

Tonight's programme includes some quite beautiful light, and some pretty sinister shade.

Our top story is the very dark story of a young Norwegian socialite looking forward to a long and happy life. She was out with friends on Friday when she simply disappeared - last seen climbing into the back of a cab outside an exclusive London nightclub. Tonight, it's been confirmed that police have found her body, partially buried under a pile of rubble, in the basement of a posh block of flats nearby.
Forensic officers are combing the area and her tutor tells Glen Goodman why she'll be desperately missed.

 

Hot under the collar are the bankers this week. As Bear Stearn gets a rescue package, our banks and maybe even our mortgages are suffering from the pinch. So what about the Tottenham boss who's had 500 million pounds wiped off his personal fortune. Well, apparently the club says the game must go on... but the share price is looking a little dicey. Jon will be live at White Hart Lane.
And if you're not a Spurs fan - you should still be worried - it could hurt you - stay tuned for our expert Louisa Fletcher with the news you need to know.

 

Damien's in a underground World War II bunker, Lucy Cotter's up to her eyes in the National Archives, and Chrissie gets to grips with the pigeons at St Pancras.
I promise that it was only momentary memory loss that saw me send her to tackle our feathered friends... Of course it was too late once I'd been reminded about her bird phobia!!! She coped admirably in the circumstances...

 

That's all to come, plus of course, the joy that is Al and Katie on the sofa singing along to "Tubular Bells"... Oh did I forget to mention that Mike Oldfield is LIVE in the studio?

 

Well you must be there then...

 

See you at six.

 

Faye (the Programme Editor)

 

London Tonight Tonight: Fri 14th March

Good afternoon. This Friday we have a First Class package for you - lie back in your fully reclining sleeper-seat , but don't nod off until we've finished!

Sip from a running order that would not look out of place in the finest cellars in the land and feast from a news menu for which Three Michelin Stars would seem an under-statement.

We start at Heathrow where one local resident won the chance to declare the brand new Terminal 5 open . Her house lies on the flight path and, when at home, she and her family enjoy seeing the majestic aircraft wafting in and out of London's premier airport - a royal treat for them all.

No objections, then, from her when they said they were expanding it and she seemed pleased as punch when she declared it "open for business" today.

Others are less than happy and fear further expansion. But we'll reflect both sides of the argument as we see T5 come in on budget and on time.

We've in-flight entertainment with James who offers you 10,000 BC and Horton. He comments, you chose.

Trolley dolly Salma will offer you pre-weekend nibbles in the form of What Not To Miss before returning to the cockpit to fulfill her duties as co-pilot.

I'd have happily helped with the WNTM nibbles but she insisted I check the champagne was chilled. Who am I to argue?

Also onboard and one day heading for Broadway or even Hollywood, the new star of the top musical Hairspray. She recently won an Olivier award which is a bit like giving your career an "upgrade" - Leanne Jones is on her way from duty free to join us in the studio.

We're thinking of redecorating it so we sent Louisa to the Ideal Home Exhibition to gather a few ideas.

So, all that plus a remarkable selection of news stories which will help the time fly by but leave you better informed before you return to your seats, tighten your belts and prepare to land for a lovely weekend.

We'd like to thank you for flying London Tonight.

Chocks away and see you at Six.

Alastair and Salma

 

 

London Tonight Tonight: 13th March 2008

Good afternoon, after an unacceptable gap in our electronic communications with you.

We have been installing a whole new system here at ITV News and, as is so often the way, our Baby Blog was thrown out with the old system Bath Water.

Anyway, the errant infant has been found and, like the prodigal son, we have praised it's return and hope you are pleased to see it back, too.

And "seeing" takes me straight to the point. If you have ever been hospitalised - the last time I suffered it was when having my wisdom teeth out as a teenager, which explains a lot - your visual faculties become sharper than ever. You notice the facial features of other patients with a greater intensity; you scan visitors and staff for hints if they are "friend" or "foe". And you spot things going wrong. Ashley Brooks from Essex has just spent £300,000 of his own money trying to put right something he saw during his treatment for leukemia that was definitely wrong. So much money, so much anger: you will flabbergasted when you hear what it was and hear the reaction of the NHS. Ashley joins us, live in the studio.

Krystal Hart will never join anyone anywhere "live", again - she was shot to death in an extreme case of "neighbour rage". The fact that she was pregnant has prompted her mum to deliver one of the most moving victim statements any of us have ever heard. You'll hear it too if you join us at 6.

Joining her dad, not at 6 but for the next several months, is Camilla, aged 15. Their destination is the North Pole: for her, a first - for her dad, almost as familiar as you or me going to supermarket at the weekend. The family surname would give it away so you'll have to join Glen in his anti-ice-glare glasses and snow-shoes to celebrate this teenagers genetically inevitable endeavor.

Also "endeavoring" and also "on ice" are the final hopefuls for Dancing on the aforementioned cold, solid water. Lucy, who you will recall has skated on this programme before, does the Ravel's Bollero bit but, I fear, in a sensible coat. I think the costumes are one of the few reasons for watching this strangely popular programme but I am strange in my tastes, I'll admit.

Yet to admit to anything is the man who went walk-about on the north runway at Heathrow at about the time a Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet rather felt it was it's turn to use the space. Spectacular in its potential danger and worrying, on the eve of HM's visit to open T5, in it's security implications - we're live at Heathrow trying to find answers for you. They may prove as elusive as your holiday luggage.

Finally, James Mason continues to cast light upon a London so many have forgotten but a London so many of you may just recall. Not the London of the swinging sixties - Carnaby Street; the Kinks, flouncing over the Thames, gazing at Waterloo Sunsets or even Mick Jagger taking a cherry soda at the Chelsea Drug store.

This is the London of lamp-lighters, busy docks, smog, bomb-sites begging to be rebuilt and post-war promises waiting to be fulfilled. It is moving, memorable and all beautifully recounted by Liz.

It is enough to tempt me off the studio bench and onto a soft sofa with a mug off Bovril and some dry ration biscuits. Maybe that's where the trouble with the teeth began.

Glad to be back.

Stay with us - we won't leave you again.

Alastair and Nina.

London Tonight Tonight Monday 3rd March

Good afternoon.
"Neighbours" is a fine Rolling Stones track which talks of the contrasting characteristics of the "great to have around" people and the "never darken my door" brigade. Both are on the programme tonight.
The negative comes in the form of a serial drunk who made a habit of trying to gain access to the wrong house when he returned from whichever drinking venue had taken his fancy of a night. He'd get the street right but not the house. Normally it just annoyed folk, but on the occasion we have the sad duty to report, it got fatally out of hand. The grim truth with Glen at 6.

The good guy is David Gilmour, one time lead guitarist of Pink Floyd, and now a hugely successful solo artist. He had a magnificent home in London which was surplus to his requirements. He sold it and, instead of banking another few millions, he told homeless charity Crisis they could have the dosh as long as they built homes for low-paid and homeless people. Crisis leapt at it. Gloom descends as we tell you of the legions of Londoners and their spineless representatives who said - "nice idea but not in my neighbourhood".
Louisa takes us through the planning issues rather than the moral vacuum of this story.

You might think there is a moral and legal vacuum on the internet: is there nothing you can't get up to in the electronic ether which is the worldwide web?
Advertise a car, lure an unsuspecting punter to view the car and bosh - the punter gets a thrashing from the yobs and no car. It gets a lot worse but I think I'll leave Marcus, a bit of an MG man, to tell you about it. You will log on with greater caution in future, I can tell you.

Fiona Richmond was a glamour-puss in the 60s and 70s and had a yellow E-Type Jag with a rude number plate. Her benefactor was soft-porn original Paul Raymond - not "Raymund" but "RaymOnd" , like a french hairdresser.
Porn pays and Mr. R went on to buy the bulk of Soho - no irony, he knew exactly what he was doing and where he was buying. Tragedy stalked this man's curious and sometimes shady life and, as he now prepares to pay rent to his maker...., Ben does a "This WAS Your Life" on the late porn to property plutocrat.

Good news on the care home front for one of our viewers which will interest all of you of a certain age.
We've Boris on the buses and Balpa, the airline pilots' Union, on why Heathrow should get so big it might bump into Gatwick, Stansted and Luton before it's finished.
Also, Robin on why you must keep wrapped up for another 24 hours, and London's papers on what happened in the last 24.

Sorry we failed to get in touch on Friday but  I blame Salma - mainly because she's not here today.

We are, and hope to see you at 6.

Alastair & Katie.

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 28th February

Good afternoon. I return from my travels to collide with an explosion of transport stories which will derail your contentment and send you crashing into the buffers of despair.
Let me start with Network Rail - used to be Railtrack and, before that, British Rail. But, like Kipling's "tiger, tiger, burning bright", they cannot change their stripes let alone their behaviour: they are still making a total mess of things. Thousands of Christmas-New Year holiday journeys were reduced to the humour level of a wake, by NR's over-running engineering works.

So, for reducing to tears even burly Scots, heading north for hogmanay, they have been fined £14 million. No one is sacked and , before he popped off to the Palace to be Knighted, Network Rail's chairman said "efficiencies" would be found to pay the fine and there would be more delays until the summer. Sanction and reward appear to have got muddled here - probably a signalling fault.

Add to that, 20,000 people a week using their Oyster cards, only to find the train or the platform (or both) full and so changing their minds, find they are still charged a quid. They can get it back if they can prove it within seven days but, at a pound, who'd bother? TfL seem to know that and have banked best part of a quarter of a million in the process. Harris plays Fat Controller and Glen, Thomas the Tank Engine.
Incidentally, when I studied economics, the "velocity of circulation" was a term describing how the speed and rate of usage of a unit of currency (pound or a penny) was a reflection of economic efficiency. I think it should be applied to trains, especially on the Circle Line!
Talking of velocity, would cars be able to go at 30 mph in town and 70 mph on the M40 out of town, if they were burning chip fat?  A group of eco-sensitive business people thinks so and is setting up a collection service. It is not only a rat I smell in this one but, clad in grease proof wellies and a fish-mongers apron, Phil avoids slipping up as he investigates.

Liz investigates the market for the haute couture cast-offs of the rich and famous. Fancy a torn Kate Moss white silk gown or a slightly floor-soiled Tracey Emin wrap? Bid high, help in the battle against breast cancer and you will enjoy a win-win feeling.

Which is what the Arctic Monkey's hope for at tonight's "enemy awards",  which the delightful Lucy is covering for us - Alexa Chung be warned! ( Mums and dads, ask your teenagers to explain).
Faye is suffering, I fear, from a cold. That can be the only explanation for the rather full, green and brown scarf draped around her lovely neck. She has, however, summoned the strength to tell me it is the "NME" Awards and not "enemy" - I was a Fab' and Melody Maker man so what do I know?
Save to say there will be no cast-offs in our news coverage, no "pay but don't use" sense of robbery in our running order - and no chip-fat spillages, unless someone has been using London's front-pages to mop up a kitchen catastrophe.

Robin doesn't think chip-fat-fuelled internal combustion engines are a good idea, but has expressed an elegant interest in any men's attire at the Breast Cancer sale. I think he could make an exotic scarf and mits from Tracey's wrap so there's food for thought if Robbie doesn't offer yet another leather jacket.

Chew it all over with us at 6.

Nice to be back.

Alastair and Salma, ( who has been 'phoning various "heavies" about tomorrow's What Not to Miss. I live in fear).

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 27th February

So, did the earth move for you..?

Or did you sleep through the biggest earthquake London's suffered for almost 25 years? Oh alright, 'suffered' is perhaps not the right word. While some poor chap in Barnsley got hit by a falling chimney, the extent of London's damage was not exactly biblical; someone said her glass cabinet rattled a bit. Still - makes a change from getting woken up by some drunk walking past your window singing 'My Way'.

(Sorry to go off on a tangent here, but our programme editor keeps singing this afternoon. Not 'My Way' thankfully but numbers from Grease and Mamma Mia. It's because she's been clipping bits of them out for an interview with the Evening Standard's critic this evening. He wasn't very kind about either of the shows... or, indeed, a number of others. Now he's written his own play which opens tonight. Brave man.)

 

Okay, where were we? Well, heading down to Westminster actually, after another protest against Heathrow's expansion plans. This time it was 'Plane Stupid' demonstrators (that's the name of their group, by the way) grabbing the headlines by climbing onto the roof of the Houses of Parliament. They don't want a 3rd runway at Heathrow you see. But people aren't talking about that so much as the fact people got passed Westminster security... again.

 

On the subject of security and 'keeping safe', we've got a couple of other stories this evening:

An increasing number of young men - and it does tend to be young men - are turning to dogs to keep them safe. Not friendly bow-wows who bark when someone comes to the house, dogs who are trained to attack and injure other people. 'Forget guns and knives' one youth worker told us, 'guns are the 2008 weapon of choice'. We hear from one chap tonight telling us why.

 

Can you believe that half of London's drivers still send text messages while they're at the wheel. What's wrong with these people? Are they selfish? Stupid? Or do they believe 'it'll never happen to' them? Well, we'll hear from a lady who nearly died after being hit by a driver on the phone... to see if we can't convince them.

 

Plus there'll be a tour round the new London Bridge exhibition (terribly hi-tech)... and, oh, just join us at six and you'll see.

 

Ben & Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 26th February

Afternoon,

I'd like to start with a request today. If you're a tallish bloke... with mousy brown hair... and were schmoozing someone I presume to be your girlfriend on the Bakerloo Line this morning... could you please wash your clothes? They smell of stale food.

Okay, with that off my chest - let's move on to this evening's programme.

So, who likes surprises? Depends if they're good or bad, doesn't it? Which means one of the men running for Mayor in May will like our top story tonight... another one most certainly won't... while a third, well, he doesn't get much of surprise at all really... and he still won't like it. You see, we've got the result of another poll for you - 'Who do you want to be Mayor?' - that sort if thing. And it seems Mr Livingstone may be losing a bit of ground. Boris has gained some. And Mr Paddick's pretty much a 'non-mover' at number 3.  We'll be looking into why people are thinking what they're thinking, and if they'll carry on thinking what they're thinking. That's a lot of thinking.

 

Now, cast your mind back to yesterday's programme when we reported that Levi Bellfield had been convicted for murdering two women and trying to kill a third. We also told you that Surrey police have him as their prime suspect in the Milly Dowler murder. In fact he's been connected to a total of 20 other attacks and murders. (One of the murders police will question him on is that of 14 year old Patsy Morris who was murdered in Hounslow Heath back in 1980. We've an exclusive interview with her father tonight.)

Well, Levi Bellfield was due in court number 5 at the Old Bailey this morning to be sentenced. But he refused to show. His lawyer said his client wasn't coming because of an "explosion of bad publicity". His victims' families have their opinion on that. So have we. It's the judge's opinion that Bellfield should spend the rest of his natural life in prison.

 

And on we go to... First Great Western. When we talk about train companies, it's tempting to slag 'em off and whine on about how dreadful their service is. The thing is not all train companies are that bad. Some of them provide a pretty good service. Not First Great Western though. In fact, the service they knock out is so bad the Government gave bosses an ultimatum today: "shape up or ship out". The deal is that if they don't inject £29 million EXTRA into the system and that doesn't produce a marked improvement in the running of the trains, someone else gets the train set. If you're travelling home with First Great Western tonight... pass it on.

 

Okay, speaking of things that don't move very fast - Fred is a 70 year old tortoise. You might think a 70 year old tortoise wouldn't be much trouble on the pet-care front; presumably, most septuagenarian 'shell-dwellers' just sit there and eat a bit. Fred doesn't. Fred's a fire-starter... Okay, she (yep, Fred's a girl) didn't MEAN to set fire to her owners' house, but she did. Luckily for Fred, her owners are the forgiving sort.  Me? I'd be thinking 'ornate Smartie bowl'.

 

So lots to get through.. not to mention problems at the Blackwall Tunnel and a 21st Century take on Tosca.

 

See you at six,

 

Ben & Katie

London Tonight Tonight Thursday 21st February

Good afternoon.

I have been away for  a couple of days which I hope you have noticed and, in some ways, regretted.
I am back which I hope you will notice, at 6, and in no way regret.

Jonathan Woodgate may be regretting what he said about moving South to play for the cockerel crowd at White Hart Lane. Southern hearts, methinks, will not go out to this Northerner who has secured a weekly wedge not unadjacent to three times the average industrial wage only to moan about house prices down here. He reckons you could get three penthouses "oop North" for the cost of a family home "doon 'ere". I didn't think they had penthouses in Middlesbrough, let alone three of them. Hey ho: Damien put on his shin pads and went for a natter.

Owing us considerably more than "a natter" are the strange folk at Camden Council who don't seem to see that there might be a problem with allowing Council workers to take away the belongings of tenants who die with no known living relative. Apparently they aren't allowed to sell the stuff - (oh really) - and it helps cut costs. We are shocked and have sent Glen to seek an explanation.

The people living in and around the Lea Valley are seeking more than an explanation about the pre-2012 greening of their valley. Hold your noses and wash your hands as Phil explains why they think it is more a case of " how brown is my valley" ! Not "Phew! Wot a Scorcher" but "Poo! Wot a Scorcher".

Our director, Nick is a respected animal lover and most of us are with him on that. Faye, (stunning today in a tailored white blouse, raunchy pin-stripped jacket and "distressed" jeans), recently 'lost' one of her beloved kittens only to celebrate, just yesterday, her safe return, is on Nick's side; as am I, who accepted not one but two cats from Phil when his widowed neighbour passed away leaving Mimi and Chloe potentially homeless. So, imagine our collective fury when we read about the yobs who take pleasure from taking pot-shots at cats and kittens with their air-rifles. Piers has our full, albeit illegal, permission to retaliate in words but not in weapons - more's the pity.

 

Do you pity people who have aircraft flying over their homes? Are you just such a victim? Ought something to be done or do you live miles from any flight path and don't care who you disturb as you wing it to the Costas or Florida? Opinion is divided, the powers that be are promising changes, and Martin is our man at air traffic control trying to avert a mid-air collision between these conflicting arguments.

Capable of settling all arguments is the genius that is Sir John Mortimer, learned barrister, brilliant author and peerless raconteur. He is with us tonight. I just wonder how a man blessed with such intellectual prowess can also be blessed with a beautiful and talented daughter, the delicious Emily?
Perhaps she'll come with Sir John?
I can't wait to find out.

You, alas, must... until 6.
Chrissie's weather for the prosecution, London's papers with the defence - it's just like Rumpole!
"Order in court" and in the studio, beginning at 6.

See you there.

Alastair & Nina.

 

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 20th February

Hello to you...

 

'The world's favourite airline' - that's what they used to call themselves... until someone pointed out that they weren't. And let's face it, events down at Heathrow yesterday and today will have done little to boost British Airways in the popularity stakes. Thousands of passengers given the option at the airport - "You can stay here WITH your luggage, or you can fly WITHOUT it." Not much of a choice for people who've paid hundreds of hard earned pounds and are all geared up for their hols, is it?

Now the thing is - it doesn't appear be BA's fault, but BAA's fault. That's the British Airport Authority. In fact BA are threatening to sue BAA  (could be confusing in court). Anyway BAA's - not BA's - 'all-singing, all-dancing' baggage-handling system appeared to have, er, forgotten the music. It went into meltdown... Passengers are still dealing with the 'knock-ons' and we'll have the latest on those.

 

How's this for today's nomination for a 'Victor Meldrew' award? Over one hundred thousand pounds is spent installing a CCTV surveillance system at a train station... but then no one connects it. There are disagreements. No one connects it. Arguments. No one connects it. Two women are then sexually assaulted at this station but still no one connects it. "I don't believe it." It's true.

 

Also sadly true is the fact that another young Londoner has died - it would seem at this stage - because of gang warfare.  Yesterday afternoon - in broad daylight this is - a 16 year old was stabbed to death. A 'good Samaritan' tried to save his life and we'll be hearing from him this evening. We'll then hear from a former gang-member who today became Crimestoppers' first Community Champion. How does HE think we could stop this violence?

 

Change of gear... and onto a bit of a spangle and glitterdust. It's the Brits tonight, presented by Mr and Mrs Osborne - AKA Ozzie and Sharon. Adele, Kate Nash, Leona Lewis, Take That and the Arctic Monkeys are all up for awards. Sir Paul Macca's going to be getting a lifelong pat on the back (makes a change from arguing over who'll get the fondue set) and... and... Lucy Cotter will be there at Earl's Court to whet your appetite. It's live on ITV1 you see.

 

So - there's a real range of real news for you.

 

We reckon you should join us at SIX.

 

Ben & Katie.

 

London Tonight Tonight Tuesday 19th February

Afternoon everyone,

Just been chatting with one of our highly esteemed colleagues on the ITV National news team - winner of numerous awards who's worked on many of the biggest stories that have changed our world, both in Britain and abroad. Well, he's shaved his moustache off. Had it there, nestling on his top lip, for over 30 years and he's just got rid. All sorts of reasons apparently - one of which was his beloved asking him to lose it. Would you believe then that for 15 minutes afterwards - chatting etc round the family home - she didn't even notice? Not that we're pointing any fingers - we all do it - look at things without really seeing them. Think I might grow a little beard for this evening's programme and see if the editor notices.

No doubt she'll be too wrapped up in our programme which, tonight, my friends is full to bursting.

You know how we all bang on about 'the youth of today' and how they're drinking too much. Well, tonight we have some pictures to prove it, with the results of a survey which suggest our pictures aren't a one-off - in London at least. And I've been talking to one of THE experts who can warn some of our younger viewers about what could be happening to their livers.

We'll also have another, very different, warning for you. Your local post office may be about to close. The bosses have announced that one in five in the London area is going to shut. So, that'll be convenient when you want to renew your car-tax then...  As well as our report, there'll be a full list of those 'in danger' on www.itvlocal.com/london.

And we've another story to get your blood boiling. Cyclists -  always going through red lights aren't they? Straight across zebra crossings. Mounting pavements.
Well, now some of our two-wheeled warriors have the video evidence which shows THEY'RE not always treated with the greatest care and attention on the roads either.

After all that, Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman should also be joining us live from Leicester Square and Ned Boulting will be pitch side in Athens ahead of Chelsea's Champions' League.

So...

See you at six.

Ben and Katie

 

London Tonight Tonight Monday 18th February

Good afternoon.
I must start by apologising for a break in service at the end of last week. It was an electronic failure rather than human oversight: whether, like 'El Dorado', the programme was cancelled or,  like Beatrix Potter, the mouse got above itself, I do not know. But I am sorry and I promise normal service will now resume. But I could be lying. You cannot see my eyes nor can you hear my voice, both reliable indicators of veracity. But in Harrow, were you lying, not about an email but about your right to claim benefits, you might be caught out. Now they can not only hear your voice on the 'phone, they can also, with your, permission, run it through a lie-detector. As Delicious Dan the Director observed,"It's an invasion of privacy. If you refuse, you're banged to rights!". He is turning into the Poirot of the technical team, you know. Phil, who, like George Washington would admit to the smallest of failures in the name of honesty, is our man balancing the rights and wrongs of this one.

 
Ken has been balancing the rights and wrongs of the 3rd runway at Heathrow and went to the village of Sipson which will cease to exist if the 3rd runway gets the go ahead. He tipped his tiny carbon toe print in the water of electoral controversy to tell the good people he doesn't think it should go ahead. Piers is the man with the orange ping-pong bats, bringing the jumbo jet of London politics safely to his docking gate.

Dramatically arriving by air from Australia, a witness who has fascinating things to tell the murder trial of Sally Ann Bowman's alleged killer. Ronke treads carefully through the legal minefield and will you be amazed.
Equally amazed, if not even more amazed, the man in row 12 at the English National Opera who, on seeing the lead tenor go sick thought  "I can do that". It is like a cultural version of Roy of The Rovers as a promising lad is plucked from the stands to score the winning goal in the FA Cup Final. Metronome to the ready and baton in hand, Damien leads you to a crescendo of amazement.

Amazed you will also be as G4 becomes G1. Jasmine meets another terrific singer who has decided not to step into great shoes but to do his own thing.
Doing her own thing, because it is Monday, is Louisa. London property prices, volatility and what you can and can't believe in the papers.

London's front pages, most of which you can believe, and Chrissie's weather which, of course, you can always believe, round it all off.
Unless, of course, I am lying again. There has been an odd beeping sound during most of this last few minutes and my polygraph has been doing it's Zorro thing. And me, a good law abiding citizen or, at least, I thought I was.

We hope you'll be there when we have finished our breathing exercises, warmed up our vocal chords, and begin our own operetta which is London Tonight, at 6.

Alastair, the Wagner man and Nina, the Puccini belle.

London Tonight Tonight Wednesday 13th February

Good afternoon.

Joe Stalin and Mikhail Gorbachev both came from Georgia - not the US back-water, east of Alabama and north of Florida, but the former grain basket of the old Soviet Union. Odd place, Georgia, with dodgy and dangerous politics. So if you've made a bob or two (billions, in truth!) and have unsuccessfully run in an election against the ruling President, you'd probably feel considerably more secure in leafy Leatherhead. That is what Badri Patarkatsishvili thought too, until late last night when he died. Heart attack? Poison? The cops won't know until tomorrow but they are treating it as a suspicious death. So are we, given his friendship with Russian oligarch and fellow billionaire Boris Berezovsky - he was convinced some of the shadowy brigade were running for him.
Ben plays John Le Carre to our Cagney and Lacey.

Lacy curtains were ruffled when Mr Plod came a-calling at a big house in Willesden this morning. It was their JCB versus the baddy's Ferrari. Plod couldn't even find a door such was the security. So what were they looking for, what did they find, and what would it have fetched on the street? Jaw dropping stuff with Sangeeta sounding her sirens and flashing her blues and twos.

I wonder what the post code on that street in Willesden was? If Boris becomes Mayor we can all know without having to trouble Posty. What is more, we'd know if it had "form" - like a criminal record, if a street can have such a thing. Would you want to live there? Would you buy there? Would you want to move? How grateful to Boris would you be? Or not? Harris sends the answers to you, First Class post, at 6.

The Editor in Chief has just pledged to solve the lack of Snicker bars in the canteen. Nina popped down to get the tea as we missed the trolley because we were planning the above mentioned lot with the delicious Faye -(turtle neck grey pencil dress plus ferocious, pointy-toed boots today) and The Big Boss. Ed in Chief said he would "leave no Snicker bar unturned" in his efforts to solve my problem. But if there are no snicker bars, he can't turn or unturn them, can he? Am I led by lions or donkeys?

Out-smarting the donkeys at London Zoo, a lovely new baby monkey called "Vale" - pronounced Varlay not Vale, as in drawing one over things.

Jodie Kidd draws back the veil on London fashion week and we all scream "Galliano"  at how well some of the fashion students from London are doing in the big, bad, beautiful world of haute couture.

A male master of all that is Robin who, dapper as a row of Saville Row suits, will tonight sip champagne and then give a weather forecast. Depending on the size of the glass it could be accurate or you could be in Bali for all you'd know! Ken got cross at question time and these two observations are in no way connected...

Nor are the front pages of the London papers though they sometimes have, in direct contradiction of the edicts of capitalist competition, the same lead story. It is as bad as the Old Soviet Union. Damn.

 

Now I'll have to watch my back all the way home.

Alastair & Nina.